The Art of Comedy Combat!
by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
Summary: 10 Percent Serious, 90 Percent Crack. That's about the best way to sum up this story. Naruto/Harem, Sasuke/Harem. Big crossover with 'Way of the Samurai 2' in future chapters. Small crossover with...pretty much everything else.
1. The New Style!

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

Hey all! I wrote this in response to all of the Super-Powered Naruto stories, which have their good parts, but completly KILL Naruto's character most of the time. This fic will hopefully show Naruto off in a strong way, but will also keep him in character. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Okay, it's time for the next match-up," Gekko Hayate, the proctor of the third stage of the Chunnin Exams said, covering up his cough.

As the computer flashed through the names that were left, Naruto was thinking about how his match would go.

_'Heh, I can't wait to reveal my new skills to everyone! They'll be so impressed! I feel sorry for the guy that has to face me!' _Naruto chuckled in his mind.

Finally, the computer stopped, and the two names flashing on the board were that of Inuzuka Kiba, and Naruto himself.

"YES! It's finally MY turn!" Naruto cheered as he saw his name. He did a little pose. "Time to kick some ass!"

Sakura couldn't help but giggle a bit at Naruto's excitement. _'Well, of course he'd be excited. He'll finally get a chance to show his stuff to all of the people who taunted him in the past...including myself.' _She gave a tiny smile. _'Go on, Naruto. Show them what you're made of!'_

"Huh. So it's finally that loudmouth's turn..." Kankuro said, watching as the blond began to do a little jig.

"How much do you bet that he'll get knocked out on the first hit?" Temari, Kankuro's sister, asked.

"That's a bit cold, even from you, Temari," Kankuro said. "I give him two hits, tops."

"Deal," Temari said with a smirk.

"Man, I feel sorry for Naruto. Aside from Sasuke-kun, Kiba got the highest marks in Taijutsu class. All it'll take will be one hit from Kiba, and Naruto's as good as done," Ino said, shaking her head.

"For once, I have to agree with you. Naruto got the worst possible match up for himself. There's no way he can win," Shikamaru said.

"I don't know...look at the determination on Naruto-san's face," Chouji said. "If anyone's got the best chance to beat Kiba, I think it's him."

"...You ARE talking about the same Naruto we grew up with, right? There's no way he can win! In fact, I bet the only way he and forehead-chan made it was because Sasuke-kun carried them here!" Ino said, completely forgetting the fact that Sakura had to watch over Naruto and Sasuke while they were both out.

Chouji shrugged, and went back to eating his chips.

"So, that Uzumaki kid is next, huh?" Neji said.

"...Yes..." Lee answered, very focused on Naruto at the moment. _'I am finding myself anxious as to what you can do, Naruto-kun. I cannot wait to see it for myself!'_

"Ha Ha! We just hit the jackpot, Akamaru!" Kiba cheered, his mouth set in a fang-filled grin. "This is gonna be TOO easy!"

"Arf!" Akamaru agreed.

Naruto's eye twitched a bit at that. "HEY! DOG-BOY! Don't underestimate me! I'll make sure you regret it if you do!" Naruto shouted, pointing at Kiba.

"Heh, I doubt that!" Kiba sneered back. He turned to his dog. "Let's go, Akamaru!"

The dog barked back at Kiba, and the two jumped into the arena, ready to rumble.

"Humph. I'll show him!" Naruto said, jumping into the arena as well...only, unlike Kiba, he landed straight on his butt instead of his feet. "Ouch...I meant to do that..."

Kiba, as well as a few of the other contestants, roared with laughter. "Man, are you for real?! How can you even THINK of beating me when you can't even land on two feet? This isn't gonna be a challenge at all!"

"Hey, I wasn't paying attention, okay?!" Naruto growled, getting to his feet. "And besides, the way I landed will seem like heaven compared to the way YOU'LL be landing in a second. Flat on your face! And what's with the dog, anyway? Get him outta here so he won't get in our way!"

Kiba frowned. "Akamaru is my partner. Whenever I fight, he fights with me. Not as though I'll need him, anyway. I'll finish you off in one blow!"

Naruto smirked. "Heh, I'd like to see you try, dog-breath."

As they got ready to fight, Kakashi was thinking about how far Naruto had gone so far.

_'Naruto...you've come very far ever since you first became a ninja. Your growth during the mission to Wave was astounding. ...Not to mention your new...fighting style. Out of everyone here, only Sakura and I know of it, while Sasuke has no clue. After all, you wanted to keep it a secret from him until the time the two of you fought,'_ Kakashi thought. _'Maa...Kiba will be in for one heck of a surprise. And the rest of us will be in for one heck of a show.'_

Kurenai, on the other hand, was thinking to complete opposite of what Kakashi was thinking. _'Sorry, Kakashi. But Naruto is no match for Kiba,' _She thought smugly.

As Kiba and Naruto stared each other down, Hayate said, "When the two of you are ready, commence fighting."

At that, Kiba bent his knees down slowly, and put his hands together.

_'Heh. Time to get started...'_Kiba thought. '_Ninja art of beast mimicry...'_

A blue chakra flowed through the Dog-User, and his appearance took on a more beastly form, with his nails becoming longer and sharper, and his voice becoming more feral. He even went on all fours like a dog.

_'W...what the?' _Naruto thought, startled by the change in the boy.

"Here I come." Kiba growled. With considerable speed, he charged towards a shocked Naruto, and delivered a savage elbow to his gut. Naruto grunted in pain as he felt the blow, and flew to the other side of the room. He landed hard on his back, and didn't move.

The other people stared at Naruto's non-moving form, waiting for him to get up. But nothing happened.

Kiba gained an arrogant smirk on his face. "Heh, the pipsqueak won't be up for quite a while," he sneered.

"Humph. I knew it. Naruto wasn't even a match," Shikamaru said.

"I know. I knew that Kiba would win, but I didn't expect it to be THAT quick!" Ino scoffed.

"Naruto-kun...that was just sad," Lee said with a tiny frown on his face.

"Hmm. See, I told you," Kurenai said, looking Kakashi's way. But the Copy-nin didn't reply. Neither did Sakura. They just stared at Naruto.

"Damn. You win, Temari. That kid was weak!" Kankuro grumbled.

"Told ya," Temari said with a smirk.

_'Oh no! N- Naruto-kun...!' _Hinata thought in despair.

Sakura just gazed down at Naruto. And then she just turned back to Kakashi, a serious look on her face...which soon changed to a tiny smirk when Kakashi chuckled a bit.

_'Kiba has NO idea what he's in for...after all, this is what Naruto did when I fought him in training...' _Sakura said, getting a bit giddy thinking about the looks that everyone else would have on their faces.

Kiba strolled up to Naruto, who's eyes were closed. "See? What did I tell you? You weren't even worth my time, ya little runt."

"...You think so, huh?" Naruto said with his eyes still closed, shocking everyone, especially Kiba.

But before anyone could say anything, the blonde vanished in an explosion of smoke, causing everyone to cover their eyes.

"What just happened?!" Ino shouted.

"I don't know!" Shikamaru replied, trying to see what was going on down in the arena through the smoke.

Soon enough, the smoke went away. But what was left of Naruto surprised everyone.

The thing in Naruto's place was a straw-dummy, tongue sticking out and taunting Kiba, along with a sign saying, _'Nice try, ya Human Scooby-Doo reject. But turn around, and you can have your consolation prize!'_

Kiba growled, and whirled around, fully ready to wallop Naruto into oblivion. But what he WASN'T ready for was Naruto holding a pie. A BIG pie.

"Hi there!" Naruto grinned, right before smashing the pie into Kiba's face. "Take that! _Remon Pai panchi!_ (Lemon Pie Punch)!"

Kiba just stood there, unmoving as the Pie Pan slid off his face, the remnants of the pie dripping on his face.

"Did...did that kid just hit that other kid? With a PIE?" Kankuro said, dumbfounded.

"I...I think he did," Temari muttered, the same way as her little brother.

"What the...a PIE?!" Ino shouted. "Of all things that Naruto could have hit him with, why a PIE?!"

"You got me..." Shikamaru said, staring at Naruto, who was laughing his ass off.

"Man, now I wish that I had Naruto as MY foe! I LOVE Lemon Pie!" Chouji said, licking his lips.

_'What the...how odd. I never thought that a pie could be used as a weapon...' _Lee thought.

Kurenai wasn't amused. At ALL.

"What is the meaning of this, Kakashi? Is your student just trying to act like a clown on purpose?" The female jounin growled.

"Wait for it..." Kakashi replied, not taking his eyes off of the match.

Kiba stood still for a few more minutes. Then he growled, and began to wipe off the pie from his face. "You little bastard! You think this is funny?!" Kiba snarled in anger once he could see Naruto again.

"Well, not really," Naruto replied, shrugging. "But it's about to be!"

"What are you talking abou-" Kiba began, but stopped when he saw a line of white between his eyes.

And heard the sound of hissing.

And SMELLED the scent of SMOKE.

Kiba then realized that he had an EXPLOSIVE NOTE on his forehead.

"Ah, FUDGE!"

Kiba quickly tore off the note, but was too late to throw it away as it exploded in his hand.

"Kiba!" Kurenai said, concerned for her student. The others were concerned as well. Had Naruto killed Kiba with that explosive note?

But after the smoke vanished, their worry turned to laughter.

Because Kiba was covered in complete colorful paint!

"What the hell?!" Kiba shouted, seeing all the colors all over himself. "What did you do?!"

Naruto held off from his laughter just a bit to inform Kiba, "That was my _Kara Bakudan _(Color Bomb)! Harmless in a fight, but GREAT for a laugh!"

Then he smirked at Kiba. "But in my case, it fits my fighting style perfectly. After all, what good's my _Kigeki Sentou _(Comedy Combat) style of fighting if no one's laughing?"

"...Kigeki...Sentou...?" Kiba blinked, not believing what he just heard.

"Yep!" Naruto grinned. "And I'll warn you now. The moment you laugh again, is the moment I take you down for good!"

* * *

What is this 'Comedy Combat' that Naruto speaks of? And will it really beat Kiba? Stay tuned for the next chapter, filled with more pies, squriting flowers, and a rubber chicken! Catch you next continue!


	2. Laugh, DogBoy! Laugh!

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

I'm pleased with the reviews I got. I've got big plans for this story, and I hope you enjoy them. Just to warn you, anyone that Naruto faces will be torn down, belittled, and humiliated. But it's all in good fun, not because I hate any of them. Plus, it's a part of Naruto's fighting style. Anyway, enjoy this next chapter!

* * *

Everyone watching the match blinked at Naruto's words.

"Comedy...combat?" Ino said, not believing the words that just came out of Naruto's mouth. "What the hell kind of fighting styles' THAT?!"

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like it could be all that effective. I mean, how can pies and color bombs hurt anyone?" Shikamaru said.

"Trust me Ino-pig and friend, you haven't seen even anywhere NEAR the full power of Comedy Combat!" Sakura said, overhearing them.

"Please. How can someone win a fight with attacks like THAT? They don't do any damage!" Ino scoffed.

"They aren't supposed to. Or at least, THOSE attacks aren't supposed to," Sakura said with a smirk.

"What are you talking about, forehead?" Ino said.

"Just watch and learn, piggy," Sakura said, turning back towards the match.

Kiba was still dumbfounded at Naruto's words. But soon, he began to growl again. "You CAN'T be serious! That fighting stlye won't help you do ANYTHING! 'Cept piss me off more!"

"If you really think that, Kiba-kun, then laugh. I DARE you," Naruto said, wiggling his eyebrows with a sly look on his face.

Kiba was half-way tempted to do it, just to spite the blond. But then, he noticed that something was missing.

"Hey...Where's Akamaru?!" Kiba shouted.

"Oh, the mutt? I decided that he was too dirty-looking for this match, so I had my clones and Naruko give him a little bath while we've been talking..." Naruto said, pointing to the left.

"WHAT?!" Kiba shouted, whirling towards that direction.

Indeed, Akamaru (who was bound, gagged, and sitting in a wash barrel) was receiving a free bath, courtesy of Naruto's clones and Naruko (Naruto's female self). Naruko was dumping water on him, Clone one was scrubbing him clean with a sponge, and Clone Two was filing his nails.

"Oh, darling, these nails are to DIE for!" Clone Two said in a flamboyant tone. "Just wait until the ladies see you! Hot doggy coming through!"

"And this fur! So soft and well-kempt! The laides love a puppy who knows his hygiene!" Clone One said with the same tone.

"Mmmm Mmmm MMMM! If you weren't another species, I would just eat you up!" Naruko purred.

Akamaru didn't know weather to be flattered...or afraid. He whimpered as good as he could through the gag.

As Kiba stared in horror, Sakura burst out laughing. "Ha Ha Ha! Typical Naruto! Giving the ememy a BATH in the middle of combat!"

Kakashi nodded in agreement, trying hard not to laugh himself. "That's what the Comedy Combat style is all about. Being so RANDOM that your opponent won't be able to predict what you'll do next. The next...'attack' could be something that hurts you, or degrates you. And for someone like Naruto, it's perfect."

"How the HELL did you capture Akamaru without me knowing?!" Kiba roared as he glared at Naruto.

"There was a reason why I used that much smoke when my clone exploded, Kiba," Naruto replied. "Anyway, I think Akamaru's treatment is done!"

Kiba turned back towards Akamaru, and gasped in horror.

Akamaru had...bows in his head, rosy cheeks, and..and...EYELINER!

Kiba saw red. BLOOD RED. He began to shake in anger...

Kurenai saw this, and began to REALLY feel sorry for Naruto.

"I think that playtime is over, Kakashi," Kurenai said. "Naruto's pushed Kiba to the limit..."

But Kakashi mearly chuckled a bit. "Good. Because that's what Naruto WANTED to do..."

"That's it, Naruto! You. Are. DEAD!" Kiba snarled. "Akamaru, let's take him down!"

Akamaru, who wanted revenge as well, growled in agreement. Kiba took out a strange pill from his pouch, and fed it to Akamaru. Within seconds, the dog grew slightly larger, and turned completly red. And his growling was much louder.

"This is the beginning of the end, Naruto!" Kiba shouted as he leaned down to all fours. Akamaru jumped onto his back, glaring at Naruto.

Naruto wasn't phased. "Hey, Akamaru. The glaring thing? With that EYELINER? NOT working."

This just served to make Akamaru even angrier, and he nearly rushed towards Naruto himself. But he stopped at the last second and waited for Kiba to complete his jutsu. Kiba sensed this.

"Good boy, Akamaru," Kiba said, eating a pill himself. "We'll get revenge on him in a second... **Beast Mimicry**! _Juujin Bunshin! _(Beast Human Clone)

As Kiba said those words, Akamaru vanished into a puff of smoke, only to appear as an exact clone of Kiba! The two Kibas growled while glaring at Naruto, ready to beat him to a pulp.

But all of a sudden, Naruto burst out laughing, nearly falling to the ground.

Not to mention that snickers could be heard coming from the entire room.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" Kiba roared.

Naruto didn't say anything. He just held up a hand mirrior that he pulled out of nowhere, and showed it to Kiba.

Kiba saw the reflection in the mirrior, and realized something.

Just because Akamaru had transformed into a clone of himself, didn't mean that the makeup and other things Naruto put on him went away...

In other words, an extremely GIRLY looking form of Kiba was standing on top of the original.

Everyone burst out laughing at the sight, including Hinata. Heck, even Kiba, though he was loathe to admit it, was close to busting a gut at his poor dog's expense. But he just settled for blushing angrily.

"You won't be laughing for much longer, ya dobe!" Kiba snarled. Both he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto, Kiba throwing a smoke bomb to hide his presence.

...Only for Naruto to blow the smoke away with a portable fan, and dodge them easily.

"Where the HELL do you keep pulling all of this stuff from?!" Kiba shouted as he and Akamaru continued to attack.

"My ass!" Naruto replied cheekily, dodging every attack. "What's the matter, Dog-Boy? Too fast for ya?"

"I'll show you!" Kiba growled. "Let's do it, Akamaru!"

Akamaru barked in agreement. All of a sudden, the two twirled around, and became a hurricane full of teeth and claws, aiming straight for Naruto!

"_You're DEAD! GATSUUGA! _(Fang over Fang)" Kiba could be heard shouting from the whirlwind.

"Oh SNAP!" Naruto shouted, running around like the hounds of hell were after him, as he barely dodged Kiba's attack.

"Humph, Naruto has no chance now. As long as Kiba is on the move, none of Naruto's tricks will work. This match is as good as his," Kurenai said with a smirk.

"I wouldn't count on it, Kurenai-sensei," Sakura said. "Look at Naruto."

Kurenai did so...and saw that Naruto, while running...was eating a banana.

"...What the hell?" Kurenai went.

"What kind of moron eats a banana while running from an attack?" Ino scoffed.

"Don't tell me he's gonna...Naruto's even dumber than I thought!" Shikamaru scoffed.

"Is that kid for real?" Kankuro said, getting what Naruto was about to do.

He got his answer when, once Naruto was far enough away from Kiba, the blond threw the banana peel unto the floor.

Kiba could smell the peel. "Do you really think that something like a banna peel will help?! Akamaru and I will just rip it, and YOU, to shreds!" Kiba gloated, as he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto.

_'Got to time this just right...'_ Naruto thought, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting...NOW!

"You're going to laugh, Kiba! Even if I have to FORCE you to!" Naruto declared, ripping of his orange jacket, and revealing a blue undershirt...that had a FLOWER sticking out on it. "Time to find your happy place, Dog-boy! _Warai Gasu Ihyou _(Laugh Gas Surprise)!"

A blue colored gas sprayed out of Naruto's flower, and Naruto used his chakra to aim it at the oncoming Kiba while he dodged Akamaru's attack from behind. The gas hit Kiba head on, and thanks to his VERY strong sense of smell, he had to get out of his tornado form and cover his mouth, which led him to slip on the banana peel. And since he was going so fast, he FLEW high into the air.

Naruto jumped after him, and when he was face to face with Kiba, he smashed another pie into his face. _"Remon Pai Panchi!"_

Kiba came crashing down unto the pavement, while Naruto landed on his feet like a pro, giving a bow to everyone with a cheesy smile on his face.

"...I can't believe it. It worked. It really worked..." Ino said, dumbfounded beyond all reason.

Shikamaru was, for once, at a loss of words.

Everyone didn't know wheather to laugh, or go 'What the FUCK?' Even Akamaru had to stop his attack, stunned at what had happened to his master.

Soon, Kiba slowly got back up to his feet. But he was laughing his ass off.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha! W-What did you-Ha Ha Ha, what did you DO TO-Ha Ha Ha-ME?!" Kiba shouted.

"It's called laughing gas for a REASON, genius," Naruto scoffed as if he were talking to a three-year-old. "Anyway...Akamaru, think fast!"

Naruto threw a Doggy Treat at Akamaru, who caught it without even thinking. Soon after, the treat exploded right in his face, leaving the poor puppy covered in black dust. Akamaru coughed up a puff of smoke, and collapsed.

"Now that the puppy is out of the way, and now that you are laughing, I can unleash my ultimate technique!" Naruto gloated, pulling out...a rubber chicken.

The only thought on everyone's mind was '_Now what?'_

"Ha Ha Ha-you...you think-Ha Ha Ha-you think that a Rubber-Ha Ha Ha-Chicken is going to beat me?!" Kiba roared.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Kiba. Though you don't have much choice right now," Naruto smirked. "But I warn you, I'm a master of Cluck-Fu!" He spun the chicken around like one would spin Nunchucks. The really frighting thing was that he was pretty good at it.

"Cut the bullshit!" Kiba snarled, charging for Naruto with bloodlust in his eyes, even as he continued to laugh.

Sadly, he was so distracted by his own rage that he didn't notice that Naruto had thrown down ANOTHER Banana Peel while they were both in the air. So he slipped on that one as well, and flew straight towards Naruto, who was ready for him.

"Say goodnight, sweet prince!" Naruto smirked. "_Chikin Higyou! _(Chicken Strike)"

Naruto smacked Kiba in the face with the CHAKRA ENFORCED Rubber Chicken as hard as he could. In fact, it was so hard that Kiba was sent flying all the way into the wall, back first. He slid down it slowly, and fell to the floor. Only this time, he didn't get back up.

"The winner is Uzumaki Naruto!" Hayate announced to the stunned group.

"Hee hee, too easy!" Naruto said, flashing the peace sign with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

And that's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed Naruto's new way of fighting! Next chapter will feature the fight between Neji and Hinata. But with NARUTO giving Hinata some questionable advice before the match, you can bet it'll be unlike any Neji and Hinata fight you've read before! Catch you next continue! And the Harem List is as follows:

Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, Kin, Tayuya and Anko.


	3. Preperations of the sexy kind

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

Okay, here is the next chapter! Hope you like this even more than the last one!

* * *

The entire room was stunned into silence.

They couldn't believe what they had just witnessed. A boy...who used pies, a banana, and a RUBBER CHICKEN of all things...won against one of the top students from the graduating year.

To say that they were shocked would be a HUGE understatement.

The silence continued for some time, until Sakura began cheering wildly for the blonde.

"WHOO HOO! ALRIGHT, NARUTO! WAY TO GO!" Sakura cheered loudly.

_'Na...Naruto-kun did it...he r-really did it...!' _Hinata thought, feeling very happy for the blond. Of course she still felt sorry for her friend and teammate Kiba, but she couldn't say that he wasn't asking for it with how he underestimated Naruto like that.

She took a look at the container full of healing slave that she had left over from the second exam. Naruto wasn't hurt from his match with Kiba at all...and she knew that she should be worrying about Kiba right now...but she couldn't help it as she rushed over to a beaming Naruto who was climbing up the stairs. Curse her hormones!

"Um...Na-Naruto-kun..." Hinata said, looking at the ground shyly as she came before the Comedy Ninja.

"Hm? Oh, hi, Hinata-chan!" Naruto greeted. "Did you need something?"

"Um...well..." Hinata stuttered, trying hard to find the courage to give Naruto the container. "Um...here!" She thrust the contained into Naruto's arms, blushing as her hands made brief contact with the blond's arms.

"Huh?" Naruto said, startled by the sudden movement Hinata had done. "What's this?"

"It's...it's a healing slave...I know t-that you didn't g-get hurt in your f-fight with K-kiba-kun...but I thought that you...well..." Hinata stuttered, poking her index fingers together in a nervous gesture as she blushed bright red.

Naruto was stunned, but touched by Hinata's kindness. And now that he thought about it, she was one of the few who had always been kind to him in class, even if she didn't talk much. That was enough to make her a friend in his eyes.

Naruto was about to thank her, before he saw her turn pale all of a sudden, and heard Hayate call out the next match.

"Hyuuga Neji vs Hyuuga Hinata. Will both fighters please come down to the arena?"

Hinata looked as though she had seen a ghost. She turned paler than normal, and her eyes went wide.

This couldn't be real. It just COULDN'T! She never thought that she would have to fight her Cousin of all people! Hinata began to feel a bit sick to her stomach. There was no way that she could beat her cousin, the genius of the Hyuuga clan! ...Maybe she would be better off quitting, and saving herself the trouble of an embarrassing defeat...

Naruto saw how scared Hinata looked. He just couldn't understand WHY she was so scared. I mean, this Neji guy had the same last name that she did. So he wouldn't do anything to hurt her too badly...right?

_'Even so, Hinata won't be a match for him in her current state of mind, if the rumors I've heard about Neji are true...maybe that new vial I created could be of some help...but I haven't quite got the taste down yet...' _Naruto thought for a moment. Then he pounded his hand into his open palm. "I've got it!"

Despite what other people thought, Naruto wasn't all that dense. Well, not ever since he began to train in the art of Comedy Combat. It required the foresight of other people's intentions to really work, so that moves like Naruto's Laugh Gas Surprise would be able to hit their mark. That's why he had gotten Kiba so mad, so that his defense would crumble, and that he would be easier to hit.

Naruto had known about Hinata's crush on him for some time now. Even since she had first talked to him, Naruto could tell that something was off about her. Sure, she was shy around other people as well, but even more so when it came to the blond. It didn't take the Comedy user too long to figure it out.

Hence the idea that popped into his head. He had read one of Kakashi's books when he wasn't looking (more like Kakashi LET him read it while he was PRETENDING to not look), and was curious by one of the characters. He had done this thing called 'seducing', and whatever it was, the female seemed to like it a WHOLE lot. Maybe he could convince Hinata to drink the vial if he seduced her! It was brilliant!

Hinata gulped down her fear. Regardless of her fear, she couldn't let herself appear weak in front of Naruto-kun. She had to be strong...even if it meant fighting in a battle that she had no hope of winning. With her resolve in place, she made to go slowly down the stairs...

Only to freeze as Naruto wrapped his arms around her middle, and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Hinata-chan..." Naruto breathed into her ear, casuing shivers to go through the female Hyuuga. "...Have I ever told you...that you have the most adorable voice I've ever heard...?"

Hinata could have sworn that she had just died and gone to heaven. Naruto-kun...had his arms wrapped around her...and was resting his head so close to her ear...his breath felt so hot...and his voice sounded even HOTTER... it took all it had for the Hyuuga to not faint.

"What the hell...WHAT does your student think that he is trying to do to Hinata-chan...?" Kurenai growled towards Kakashi, resisting the urge to run over and stab Naruto with a kunai.

"...I have no idea..." Kakashi said, mentally cursing Naruto in his head. Of all the times to re-perform an act right out of his book...

"Mmmm...that voice...does things to me, Hinata-chan. ...NAUGHTY things..." Naruto purred into the bright red Hinata's ear. He heard Hinata give a little gasp as his hand trailed along the side of the Hyuuga's belly, slowly sliding and caressing through the soft skin concealed by her thick jacket. Soon, he moved it to where the Hyuuga's breast would be, and teasingly caressed close to it, enjoying the tiny moan that Hinata gave.

"Well...that Uzumaki kid is smooth...not bad," Kankuro chuckled. "Of course, he's nothing compared to me."

"...You just keep telling yourself that, little brother," Temari replied, rolling her eyes.

"What the HELL is Naruto doing to innocent Hinata-chan?!" Ino snarled, holding herself back from KILLING the other blonde as he began to slowly caress the Hyuuga's breasts.

"Something that Hinata seems to like, if her moans are any indication," Shikamaru replied.

Hinata couldn't believe that this was happening. Not even in her wildest dreams had she imanged that her beloved Naruto-kun would just...TAKE her like this! And in front of EVERYONE to boot! And the scary thing was...she liked it even more that way! Oh Kami... "Oh, N-Naruto-kun..."

Neji watched on in disgust. He cared not which loser happened to be involved with his pathetic cousin, but for them to have the GALL to do it in broad daylight...and to keep him waiting like this! It was disrespectful! Humph...well, he would teach his cousin a lesson that she soon wouldn't forget.

Naruto saw how Hinata was turning into putty in her hands, and decided to go for the kill.

"Hinata-chan. I know that you can beat this Neji guy...I can see it in your eyes...and if you DO beat him..."

Naruto leaned in and said in the littlest whisper that he could.

"I'm gonna sex you UP..."

THUD.

Hinata fainted.

Naruto blinked as he looked at the laid out Hyuuga, before shrugging. "I guess I must have over did it. Oh well." And he proceeded to open Hinata's mouth while plugging her nose, and pouring the vial he had into her mouth.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Kurenai screamed, being held back by Kakashi as she tried to bum rush the blond who was doing such vile things to her student.

"Calm down, Kurenai! I'm sure that Naruto has a good reason for what he's doing!" Kakashi reassured her. _'...I think.'_

"He better. Or I'll beat his ass myself!" Sakura growled.

Soon, the last of the potion that Naruto fed Hinata vanished, and nothing happened for a while. But soon, Hinata's eyes began to open slowly. "Where...where am I...?" She said.

"Hinata-chan, you okay?" Naruto's voice said from above her. When she saw Naruto, her face lit up.

"Naruto-kun!" She squealed, throwing herself on top of the stunned blond and kissing him with a passion.

The rest of the people had their eyes bugged out at the display, Kurenai in particular.

Soon enough, Naruto was able to push Hinata off of him, before he got TOO into the kiss. "Maybe later, Hinata-chan. Right now, you have to fight Neji..."

"Neji-nii? I'd rather have you do that sexing up thing you mentioned!" Hinata huffed, her cheeks puffing up in a cute way. "But I guess I'll play with Neji-nii for a bit...and THEN you can sex me up!"

"...Sure, Hinata-chan. Sure," Naruto said with a nervous smile.

"YAY!" Hinata cheered, giving Naruto a little peck before she jumped down into the arena.

"Naruto...what the blue HELL did you give her?" Sakura said, walking up behind the blond and cracking her knuckles.

"Just watch, you'll see," Naruto chuckled.

Neji glared at Hinata as she skipped towards the middle of the arena. "Are you ready to see just how weak you are, Hinata-_sama_?" Neji spat out the last part.

"Whatever, Neji-nii. Let's just do this quick so I can get back to Naru-kun!" Hinata said, taking up a stance. "Ready when you are, girly-man!"

* * *

And that ends this chapter. What did Naruto give Hinata? Why is she acting so different? And how will Neji react to being called a girly-man? Wait until next time to find out! All in the next chapter, 'Of Imps and Pixies'!

* * *


	4. Of Imps and Pixies

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

The moment you've been waiting for! The fight between Neji and Hinata! Enjoy!

* * *

The entire room went into silence yet again.

...Did they just hear the female Hyuuga right?

Did she just call her cousin, one of the most powerful Ninja of the new generation...

A GIRLY-MAN?

"Oh, no she didn't!" Naruto laughed as he saw the look on Neji's face.

"Oh, yes she did!" Sakura laughed with him.

"Neji was the top student of the last year. And even though Hinata was the top Kunoichi of the last year, her skills are NOTHING compared to her cousin's! Does she have a death wish or something?" Shikamaru said.

"That's the only way I'd be able to explain what she's doing!" Ino said, shaking her head.

Neji was shaking with barely controlled anger. A girly-man? A GIRLY-MAN?! Who did this little so-and-so think she was talking to? She had no IDEA what she was getting herself into. The elder Hyuuga just wanted to rush over their and shut down her heart with a well aimed palm strike...but he didn't. He had to keep control of his emotions (or lack thereof) and remain calm.

"Humph. You know that you are no match for me, so you decide to resort to name calling. That just proves how pathetic you are, dear cousin..." Neji said in a smug tone.

"No. I'm just calling you a girly-man because of your hair," Hinata explained. "I mean, really. It's much more shiny and wavyer than my own. What, did you have to use 6 TONS of hair-gel to get it that way?"

Neji's eyes widened, and he began to stutter a bit. "N-No, I didn't use 6 tons of Hair-gel to get it like this! I only used 2 bottles!"

Hinata looked at him with a bored stare. "That's not much better, Neji-nii."

Neji growled as everyone began to laugh at him. This little...she was trying to goad him into making a fool of himself in front of everyone! She would pay...BIG TIME!

"Okay, if that's enough, then let's get on with the match," Hayate said. "BEGIN!"

Without any warning, Neji activated his Byakugan, and charged after Hinata with considerable speed. He thrust his palm forward, and Hinata dodged it in time. She tried to counter attack, but Neji ducked her strike, and aimed a two finger jab to her stomach, which she dodged as well.

Soon enough, the fight began to turn into more of a dance...a deadly dance. The chakra of the two fighters was flashing each time they made a near hit.

Naruto and Sakura (as well as the rest of the onlookers) looked upon this match in wonder.

"Wow...this match is exciting to watch, isn't it, Naruto?" Sakura said, keeping a close eye on Hinata's movements.

"...I'll say. But I think that Hinata-chan is getting bored by this little game," Naruto said, pointing out Hinata's face to Sakura.

She looked like she was...pouting. Like this match wasn't going the way she wanted it to be.

"...You know, I've been meaning to ask you about what you gave to Hinata, Naruto. So, are you gonna spill, or do I have to BEAT it out of you?" Sakura said.

"Calm down, Sakura-chan. The potion I gave her is supposed to help her get her inner-pixie out into the open," Naruto explained.

"...Inner-Pixie? What the hell are you talking about?" Sakura said, making a face.

"What I mean is that for one to really begin to learn the Comedy Combat style, one must unlock his/her Inner Imp/Inner Pixie in order to really feel the pleasure of the attacks. As you must know, Pixies and Imps were the most mischievous creatures in mythology, correct?" Naruto said.

"Yes...but what does that have to do with anything?" Sakura asked.

"Well, not many people know it, but they have a deep inner-self that would LOVE to pull pranks and just have people laughing at them. For boys, it's their Inner Imp, and for girls, their Inner Pixie. Only when you can get into touch with them, can you begin to learn the art of Comedy Combat," Naruto said, nodding his head.

"Oh, I get it! So that potion you gave to Hinata was..." Sakura said.

"Right. It was a potion designed to help someone awaken their inner creature," Naruto said. "I was gonna give it to Sasuke, just to see how messed up he'd become, but I think I made a better choice giving it to Hinata-chan. Besides, it'll only take me two more months to make another one."

But before Sakura could respond, the duo heard a loud moan come from the arena where Neji and Hinata were.

...But the strange thing was...it wasn't a moan of pain.

...It was a moan not unlike the ones that Hinata was giving a few minutes earlier.

A moan of pleasure.

And HINATA wasn't the one moaning.

The two looked at each other, and both turned towards the arena.

Neji was down to one of his knees, breathing hard like he was out of breath, even though he didn't have any signs of injury on himself. Hinata was standing a few feet away from him, beaming while giggling.

But the strange thing...was that Neji had a tiny blush on his face as he stared wide eyed at Hinata.

"What'd we miss?" Naruto said, turning towards his teacher.

Kakashi shrugged. "I have no idea. Hinata finally managed to hit Neji, but when she did, Neji let out that moan you heard, and fell to his knee."

"I wonder what Hinata did to get that reaction out of him..." Kurenai said, paying close attention to the fight.

Down in the arena, Neji was still staring at his cousin in shock. What the HELL did she do to get that kind of reaction out of himself? ...And why did it feel so damn GOOD?

Hinata giggled at the look on her cousin's flushed face. "Hee hee, how do you like it, Neji-nii? I thought that might work! By the way, you kind of moaned like a girly sounding man to me."

"What...what the heck did you...do to me?" Neji breathed, getting back to his feet slowly.

Hinata stopped giggling for a bit so she could answer. "You know, there's much more uses for the Byakugan than just shutting down the foe's chakra points/gates you know. You can use it to spy, you can use it to see how much chakra they have left..."

And she began to giggle again. "Or you can use it like I did, and find people's PLEASURE SPOTS..."

"P...Pleasure spots?!" Neji gasped.

"Yes, Neji-nii. Pleasure spots. The areas on the human body that can drive a person WILD with pleasure. It's a simple fact for eyes like the Byakugan to find them. All I have to do it touch them, insert a little life-giving chakra, and BOOM! Instant near-orgasm," Hinata said. "I can give them SO MUCH pleasure, that they'll be knocked out before they know it! Neat, huh? I call it...the Ecstasy Fist! ...Of course, the...advanced moves from my new fighting style will be for Naruto-kun's eyes...and body...only..." She let out a lust filled sigh at the thought of using this on her lover.

"Did I just hear her right? Ecstasy Fist?" Ino said, confused beyond all belief.

"I...I think that's what she said..." Shikamaru replied.

"Dude...if THAT'S her fighting style, then I wanna fight her next!" Kankuro said, looking excited at the thought of such a thing.

"Hmm...didn't know that Hinata's inner-pixie would be like THIS..." Naruto said.

"Naruto...I think we better hide you before this match is over...unless you were SERIOUS about sexing Hinata up..." Sakura said.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan. It's all under control..." Naruto said with a grin.

Neji, once the effects of the attack were off of him, growled and charged Hinata again. But his knees felt like jelly from the first hit of pleasure, so hit stumbled a bit, making it easy for Hinata to hit him with two jabs to the side.

The Hyuuga prodigy let out a loud moan of plaesure as the feeling went throughout his body. He couldn't believe that this much feeling could come from simply being touched! His pants also began to feel a little tighter. Neji nearly passed out from the overwhelming pleasure, barely stopping himself from falling to his knees again.

"I can't believe it...Hinata just might win this!" Kurenai said with a tiny smile on her face.

Hinata saw that her cousin was weak with the ecstasy she was giving him, and decided to go for the money shot. She rushed towards him, aiming to hit his chest, and send the pleasure streaming from there to the entire body. He would be out in no time.

Sadly, Neji was able to get his footing in time, and began to spin around in a fast circle as chakra appeared around him like a shield. "_Katien!"_

Hinata couldn't stop in time, and crashed into the shield, which pushed her back onto the ground.

"What on earth was that?!" Naruto shouted, stunned by the technique.

"That's the secret weapon of the Hyuuga clan. The Katien takes their chakra, and turns it into a high powered shield while they spin around. It can't be broken, and any one who runs into it will be pushed back with great force," Kurenai said, looking worried. "But the scary part about this attack is the next attack that comes after it..."

Hinata quickly got back to her feet, but she nearly froze as she saw the muderous look in her cousin's eyes as he took a stance.

"It's all over. You are within my field of Hakke..." Neji growled.

"Look out, Hinata!" Kurenai shouted. But it was too late.

"_Hakke Rokujuu Yonshu _(Divination Field, 64 Palms)!" Neji shouted out, as he moved at a blinding speed. He hit Hinata with both his fists, two fingers outstreched.

"Two Palms!"

He hit her again, faster this time.

"Four Palms!"

Even faster...

"Eight Palms!"

Naruto watched in horror as Neji hit Hinata so quickly that his hand vanished into a blur...

"Sixteen Palms!"

Hinata had a look of angony on her face as she was hit with the barrage...

"Thirty-Two Palms!"

Finally, Neji struck out with one final hit, knocking away Hinata from him as she hit the ground.

"Sixty-Four Palms!"

Neji glared upon his cousin after she fell to the floor. She wasn't moving...

"Humph. That'll teach her to not mess with me like that," Neji scoffed, turning to leave. "Proctor, this match is over."

But before he could take even two steps, he felt a blast of chakra come from Hinata, as she slowly made her way to her feet. Only this time, she wasn't giggling. Hell, she wasn't even smiling. She was glaring at Neji like a demon.

"What?! Impossible! I closed off all of your chakra points! You shouldn't even be standing right now!" Neji said, shocked.

Hinata didn't say anything. She just continued to glare at Neji.

"Naruto...was there arything ELSE that the potion was supposed to do to Hinata...?" Sakura said, turning towards Naruto with a blank look on her face.

"...Maybe...JUST MAYBE...it gave her a huge boost in her Chakra too...?" Naruto said with an innocent face. _'This is what I get for using some of the fuzz ball's chakra in my potion...'_

"Neji-nii...Knock, Knock," Hinata said in a silent tone that promised PAIN for Neji.

Neji didn't say anything for a bit, still shocked beyond all reason.

"...I SAID. Knock. KNOCK." Hinata growled.

Neji, quite scared for his life now, answered back, "...Who...who's there...?"

And before anyone knew what happened, Hinata quickly appeared right infront of Neji face, and her leg rose high into the air...

And she KICKED Neji square in the Family Jewels.

"My FOOT!" Hinata snarled.

Neji didn't say anything. He just fell to the floor with his eyes and mouth wide open, a little squeak coming out of his lips. He wouldn't be moving for quite sometime.

Kankuro couldn't hold in his laughter after that, even though he felt a bit of sympthy for the Hyuuga. "DAMN! Right in the balls!"

The rest of the men, including Naruto, winced as the hit was dilvered, and covered their own packages as well. Poor Neji..."

Hayate (who was doing the same), said, "...The winner of this match...is Hyuuga Hinata." And he procedded to get as FAR away from Hinata as possible, who had went back to her giggling face as soon as she was declared the winner.

"Victory!" Hinata said, raising her hand in the peace sign like Naruto, complete with Naruto's fox-like grin.

* * *

Poor Neji...he'll be out for quite some time...anyway, I hope you liked it. Catch you next continue!


	5. Special Chapter!

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

"Hello, everyone!" Naruto shouted, a microphone in his hand as the theme, 'Go, Go, Naruto!' played in the background. "Welcome to a special chapter of Clowning Around! In this chapter, we shall inform you a bit more about all of the different aspects of this story, as well as rank the various jutsu that will be used within the story. This chapter will be updated everytime that a new jutsu is used, so please check back often! Anyway, here to help me today is my friend, Hinata-chan!"

"Hi, everyone!" Hinata said with a giggle, waving a hand to the readers. "I'm so glad to be helping out MY Naruto-kun like this! I'll do my best! And then Naru-kun will FINALLY sex me up!"

"...We'll see, Hinata. We'll see," Naruto said, sweatdroping. "Anyway, let's begin with the origin of _Kigeki Sentou. _Otherwise known as Comedy Combat!"

* * *

_**Kigeki Sentou** _(Comedy Combat): A Mix of Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. It's main use is to make your opponent look like a complete fool, and to make them angry so that they will be much easier to hit with the techniques from this fighting style. Nearly ANYONE can learn it, but they must first be in touch with their Inner Imp (for the boys), or their Inner Pixie (for the girls). Right now, only two people have been known to practice it. Uzumaki Naruto, and Uzumaki Kushina, who invented the style herself. But it seems that Hinata has great potential with it as well, if her _Kyouki no Genkotsu _(Ecstasy Fist) is any sign.

* * *

"...That's it?" Hinata said, eyes half-lidded.

"Well, what did you expect, Hinata-chan? We've just begun the story, and Author-sama is still trying to come up with a sutible way to explain where Comedy Combat came from in the first place," Naruto pointed out.

"I know, but it's so BORING!" Hinata pouted. Then she lit up. "But if that's all...then it's SEXY TIME!" She jumped towards Naruto, who side stepped her at the last second.

"Woah, there, girl! We still have to explain the attacks that you and I have used so far!" Naruto reminded the amorous Hyuuga.

"Humph. Fine. But can we please hurry up?" Hinata huffed.

* * *

**Naruto's Moves**

**_Remon Pai panchi _**(Lemon Pie Punch): A D-Rank move in the Comedy Combat style. The name says it all. The user pulls a pie out of nowhere, and smashes it into the opponent's face. Alone, it doesn't do much damage at all. But you can hide objects within the pie to make it deadlier, like Naruto did with his Color Bomb.

_**Kara Bakudan** _(Color Bomb): A bomb of Naruto's own creation. It doesn't do any damage, but it can be used to anger the opponent, and make others laugh at him/her. It's also good for marking your opponent, so that you can spot them quicker if they try to hide. And of course, it's good for a laugh.

**_Warai Gasu Ihyou _**(Laugh Gas Surprise): A C-Rank jutsu in the Comedy Combat style. The user expels gas out of a hidden (or not so hidden in Naruto's case) passage, and uses his/her chakra to control it and send it into the foe. Anyone hit by this gas will begin to laugh uncontrollably, making their movements jumbled and therefore, making them easier to hit.

**_Kluck-Fu_**: A Branching style of the Comedy Combat fighting style. Not much is known about this style, since only Naruto has used it. Hell, they aren't even sure if he was being serious.

**_Chikin Higyou _**(Chicken Strike): A powerful strike by a Rubber Chicken that has been infused with chakra. The only known attack in the Kluck-Fu branch style.

**Hinata's Moves**

_**Kyouki no Genkotsu** _(Ecstasy Fist): A comedy version of the Gentle Fist. Hinata uses her Byakugan to scout out the various pleasure spots on a foe, and fills them with chakra when she comes in contact with them to make the foe go wild with pleasure, knocking them out in the process. It can also be used outside of battle...if you know what I mean. ...And it doesn't only work on males...

* * *

"Done! Okay, Naruto, time to SEX. ME. UP!" Hinata squealed.

"Calm down, Hinata-chan! We still have one more thing to mention!" Naruto said nervously, keeping an eye on Hinata. "Since this story is doing so good thanks to you fans, we've decided to give you a chance to call out moves you'd like to see any one who becomes a student of the Comedy Combat style do! But there are two things that they must involve.

1. It has to be funny, yet not crippling in any way.

2. (In regards to Hinata) It has to be a bit sexy.

Follow those rules, and submit your own ideas for attacks, either through a review or a PM. If they are good enough, then Author-sama will use them in the story, and give you full credit for it! Plus, it'll be added to this chapter! We can't WAIT to see your ideas!"

"Okay, NOW we're done!" Hinata said, tackling Naruto to the ground. "You. Me. Sex. NOW."

"...Maybe next time, Hinata-chan," Naruto said with a smile, before he poofed away in a cloud of smoke.

"DAMN IT, A CLONE!" Hinata screamed. She ran off screen. "Naruto-kun! I will find you!"

* * *

And that's all for now! Catch you next continue!


	6. Preperations of the FoulMouthed kind

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

Sigh...I'm not gonna have much time to update this story after this chapter, what with work and all. I'm just glad that it's doing so well. I guess when it comes to thinking outside the box, I'm pretty good. Anyway, here's what may be the last chapter for a while. The Opening to the Lee and Gaara fight. Enjoy.

* * *

_'I cannot believe it! Hinata, the little flower of the Hyuuga clan managed to defeat Neji-san!'_

To say that Lee was stunned would be putting it lightly. He never thought that Neji would be met with defeat so early within the exam. He had always thought that Neji would be the one person that would go all the way to the top...at least until they met on the field of battle.

But now...he was taken out of the running completely by the LAST person he had expected.

_'I find myself...conflicted. I would like to avenge your loss, Neji-san...and yet...I find myself drawn to this girl. Not in an romantic way, but in more of a, 'I want to fight her myself' way. Then again...I guess me seeing another genius of Hard Work prevail gets my blood running...'_

"LEE!" Gai called out, making the Taijutsu user jump a little in the air.

"Y-yes, Gai-sensei?" Lee said, saluting his teacher.

"You seem to be lost in thought. Is there something on your mind that you would like to share with me?" Gai enquired.

"No, Gai-sensei. I am quite fine. I...just feel a bit parched from all the hot action that has happened. And only getting into the action myself will quench my thirst!" Lee reassured him.

"That's the spirit, my cute student! The flames of youth burn brightly within you!" Gai said, his eyes burning fire.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said with admiration.

"Lee!" Gai replied, looking upon Lee with proudness in his eyes.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"You know, people are gonna take that the wrong way if you keep it up," Naruto said, walking up to the duo.

"Oh, Naruto-kun!" Lee greeted, not hearing what the blond said before. "Congrats on your victory against Kiba-kun!"

"Heh, no problem. He underestimated me, so he payed the price," Naruto shrugged. "Anyway, I heard that you were parched. So I wanted to give you this."

Naruto pulled out an Ice Cold Can that had the word 'Ninja Dew (1)' on it.

"May I ask what that is, Naruto-kun?" Gai inquired, looking at the can with confusion on his face.

"It's a cold drink that I had imported from Sunakagure. It was said to be able to help a Ninja perform twice as good in combat!" Naruto declared. Then he made a face. "But it didn't really taste all that good to me. So you can have it."

"Oh, my thanks, Naruto-kun!" Lee said, taking the can and having a big sip out of it.

"Oh, by the way, your match is up next," Naruto pointed out. Lee and Gai turned towards the screen.

Rock Lee vs Gaara of the Sand

"YES! All right, Lee! It's time for every one to see what you are made of!" Gai cheered.

But Lee didn't say anything. He just stared down at the ground.

"...Lee? Are you okay?" Gai said, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

Lee shrugged it off of him, and said in a low voice. "Oh...I'm more than okay. And it's because..."

And he turned towards Gai with a mean look on his face.

"I'm about to stomp a mudhole in someone's ass."

As Gai dropped his mouth open in shock, and Naruto raised an eyebrow, Lee jumped down into the arena, and walked towards the middle of it, his arms swinging back and forth as he walked with a purpose.

"...What has gotten into my cute pupil?" Gai said, looking nervous.

"...Ya got me," Naruto replied, shrugging.

Gaara was waiting in the arena, his arms crossed as his sand stormed around him impatiently. _'Don't worry, mother. You're about to get some fresh blood in a second...' _Gaara thought, holding in the urge to smile sadistically.

Finally, Lee got to the middle of the ground where Gaara was standing at, and he got right into the Suna-nin's face, staring him down. Gaara made an annoyed face, and held in the urge to just crush the weird-looking fool with his sand right then and there.

"That guy must have a death wish or something..." Kankuro said, shaking his head. "There's no way he's a match for Gaara."

"Kankuro...normally, I'd agree. But you DID see that Uzumaki-brat give something to Mr. Moe Howard down there, right? Last time that happened, that meek little Hyuuga girl defeated the so-called number one rookie of the past year," Temari pointed out.

"I don't care. There is NOTHING that the blond brat could have given that weirdo that could help him defeat Gaara," Kankuro said, nodding his head with his arms crossed.

After a few moments passed, Hayate had to push Lee away from Gaara. "Okay, that's enough of that. Save it for the fighting. Begin!"

"Humph. You don't look like much at all, Leaf-nin. But blood is blood...and I'm sure that mother will love to taste yours..." Gaara said in his creepy tone of voice, his face blank of emotion.

"I really doubt that. Ya see, there ain't NO way that I'm losing to someone who dresses like that, and uses something that can make sandcastles as a weapon," Lee scoffed. "And as for my blood...ya can't have it. But I'll show ya what ya can have..."

And he gave Gaara the one-finger salute.

Everyone's eyes bugged out at that, Gai's in particular.

"Lee! That is not very youthful at ALL!" Gai shouted down to his student.

Lee looked back at his mentor. "Gai...I respect ya...but for now, please SHUT THE HELL UP so I can kick this sorry son of a bitch's ass."

Gai nearly fainted as he heard those words coming from his pupil.

"Hmm...seems that your student has a bit of an attitude, wouldn't you say, Gai?" Kakashi said, smiling under his mask.

"Now then...if ya want ta see me open up a can of whoop-ass on this sandman reject, then give me a hell yeah!" Lee shouted.

"HELL YEAH!" Both Naruto and Sakura shouted.

Everyone turned towards them.

"...What?" Naruto said, shrugging. "He made fools out of us the first time we met."

"Oh, Naruto-kuuunnn..." Hinata's voice came from behind him.

Naruto froze, and slowly turned around to see Hinata with an honest smile on her pretty face.

"I won, Naruto-kun. And you know what that means..." Hinata said, her innocent face fading away to be replaced with a seducive look that still managed to look cute.

"Uh...can't I wait until this match is over, first?" Naruto gulped, trying to find an escape route.

"And give you a chance to escape? No way, Naruto-kun," Hinata giggled, latching onto his arm.

Unseen by anyone, the sudden movement caused something to fall out of Naruto's Orange Jacket...a vial of some sort.

"Now then...let's go to the back...and I'll show you those...advance moves I mentioned during my fight with Neji-nii..." Hinata giggled with a sly look on her face.

As the Hyuuga dragged Naruto away, Sakura, with a smirk on her face, said, "Don't worry, Naruto! I'll tell you what happened when you get back. Have fun!"

* * *

And that's all for this chapter. Short, I know, but it'll be a set up for what might be my longest chapter for this story.

Anyway, I've been getting reviews asking about who is going to be in Naruto's Harem. So here is the list right now!

Sakura, Hinata, Ino, Temari, Tenten, Kin, Tayuya and Anko.

Yep, EIGHT women will be with Naruto. But don't worry. Since I'm planning on having ALL the Rookie Nine, Gai's Team, and The Suna Sibs learn Comedy Combat, most of the other guys won't be left without girls of their own. Let's just say that the fillers DO serve their purpose...to a fanfic writer at least. And since I'm in a good mood, I'll give you a clue to who Sasuke's Inner Imp will be modeled after. Here it is.

HAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

If you've played Video Games, then you might have an idea who that is. Good luck trying to figure out Lee's Inner Imp as well!

And as for Hinata's Inner Pixie, she's based off of a character called Anzu, who was in a Hentai called Koihime. You can see bits of it on youtube (without the Hentai), or watch full episodes of it on youporn.

Anyway, what has come over Lee? Will it help him in the fight against Gaara? And will Naruto be able to escape Hinata before he loses his virginity? Find out on the next chapter, Who's the TRUE winner here?

And now that my author's note has most likely outworded my actual chapter, it's time to end it. Catch you Next Continue!

Oh, and thanks to The Tactician for reminding me about how funny Drunk Lee can be.

(1). If you've read another one of my stories, than you'll be familiar with this...


	7. Who's the REAL Winner?

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

Good News! I was able to get the day off of work today, so I decided to put out the next chapter of the story on the same day! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

_With Lee and Gaara..._

The talk between the two had finally passed. And now...it was time for action.

"Here I come, ya meele-mouthed little bastard!" Lee said, rushing for Gaara at high speed. Gaara merely just stood where he was, not moving an inch.

Lee threw a fist at Gaara's face, but the sand from his gourd blocked the attack with ease. Not easily discouraged though, Lee then threw a kick at Gaara's middle...which was ALSO blocked by the sand.

NOW Lee was starting to get a little angry. He threw punch after punch, and kick after kick at Gaara, but none of them could get through the sand.

Gaara grew bored of this, and instructed the sand to begin attacking Lee. The sand hit Lee with great force in his middle, nearly knocking the wind out of him as he flew back from the impact. He got up quickly though, and began to dodge the sand as best as he could.

_'Goddamnit! I can't break through that bastard's sand! I guess it was tougher than it looked...' _Lee thought. _'But there's GOT to be some way to break through it...oh well, I'll just keep attacking this piece of shit, and see if I can find any openings...'_

* * *

_Meanwhile, with Naruto and Hinata..._

Hinata flung Naruto into a room that was deep in the back of the building. It had a bed big enough for two...and pretty much nothing else.

Hey, all that was on Hinata's mind was getting into Naruto's pants. You think she had the time, never mind the ability to CARE, to make the room a little more nicer?

"Okay, Naruto-kun...it's finally time for my reward..." Hinata giggled with a sly look on her face as she pushed the blond onto the bed.

Naruto scooted back on the bed as far as he could, while Hinata just smiled at that and crawled on the bed like a cat towards him.

"Okay...you win, Hinata-chan. After all, I never go back on my word as a Ninja...and you DID beat Neji..." Naruto muttered. "Just close your eyes, and I'll begin..."

"YAY!" Hinata squealed, shutting her eyes, and puckering her lips above Naruto's face. The blond got a sweatdrop along the side of his face.

_'Sorry, Hinata-chan. But I'm not quite old for something like that yet...' _Naruto thought, reaching into his coat pocket. _'It's a good thing that I thought about making an...antidote...'_

Naruto froze as he found that the spot in his jacket where the antidote was supposed to be was empty.

_'...Oh no...don't tell me that...I THOUGHT that something fell out of my pocket when Hinata glomped my arm like that!' _Naruto mentally slapped himself on the forehead.

_'Oh well. Maybe I could seduce Hinata-chan into waiting for me a bit mo-ahhhh!'_

Naruto suddenly let out a rather loud moan as he felt pleasure spread through his crotch area. He quickly looked down to see that Hinata was caressing it with two of her fingers.

Shocked, he stared up at the Hyuuga...only to find that she had her Byakugan activated, and was giving him a rather...sexy smile.

"You were taking too long, Naruto-kun..." Hinata said, licking her lips slowly, with Naruto watching the movement with wide eyes and a tiny blush on his face. "And when it comes to you, I don't LIKE to be kept waiting..."

**Short Lime/Lemon Scene! Warning! Short Lime/Lemon Scene!**

"I see that you're liking another technique from my Ecstasy Fist..." Hinata giggled, moving her hand in a short sensual pattern, and watching as Naruto's face contorted in pleasure as he began to pant slightly. "I like to call this one the _Koiru Tore-su..._(Coil Trace) (1). Once I've hit a pleasure point, I can control the flow of the chakra by moving my hand, so long as it never leaves the target...I told you that the more...advanced moves would be for your body only..."

True to Hinata's word, Naruto felt the pleasure spread from his rapidly growing cock all the way throughout his body. Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but the SPEED at which it happened blew him away.

"Hi...Hinata-chan..." Naruto stuttered, and Hinata found herself smiling at the way that her love sounded like she had not too long ago.

"Shhhh...hush now, Naruto-kun," Hinata purred, pulling down the zipper to Naruto's pants. "As much as I'd love to get my own pleasure, I'm afraid we'd be here all day. So for now...just let me please you..."

"Hinata-chan...you...you don't have to do this..." Naruto stammered.

"Oh, but I WANT to, Naruto-kun...I've wanted to ever since I've learned about it..." Hinata said, looking up at Naruto with her Byakugan deactivated. What Naruto saw in her eyes was shocking for him.

He saw admiration...respect...a bit of lust...but most important of all...love.

"This is the highest form of love I could give you, Naruto-kun. And even if you don't feel the same way about me, I still want to give it to you," Hinata went on. Then she smiled. "Just consider it a gift for having stayed the way you've always been all of these years..."

And with that, Hinata pulled Naruto's shorts down, along with his boxers. She nearly gasped as she saw Naruto's member. "Oh, Naruto-kun...it's so...it's so..."

"It's...it's not too big, is it...?" Naruto said, more nervous than he had ever been. "I mean...I know it's not normal for kids my age to have one this big..."

Hinata smiled at his modesty, and shook her head. "No, Naruto-kun. Yours is the perfect shape for your age. Not too small, yet not too big...it's just that it's my first time seeing one up close, that's all..." She looked up at Naruto, her face flushed bright red. "Can I...can I touch it...?"

Naruto, whose face was also flushed bright red, replied, "S...sure. Go ahead if...you want to..."

Hinata smiled again, and slowly wrapped her hand on Naruto's member, putting a little chakra into it.

Naruto couldn't hold in a little whimper as his cock ejaculated shortly after. A surprised Hinata got a bit of Naruto's cream on her face as he emptied himself of his white fluids.

Soon, it stopped, and Naruto rested his head back unto the pillow. He took a few deep breaths before looking up at Hinata, who hadn't moved since she got a face full of Naruto's jucies.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Hinata-chan..." Naruto said, ashamed as he looked down at the floor. "I...I know that I should have lasted longer than that..."

Hinata didn't say anything for a while. But she began to giggle a bit, and scooped a bit of cum into her fingertips.

"Don't be sorry, Naruto-kun. After all, we're both still very young...it's no surprise that you came that quickly," Hinata said, licking up the cum on her fingers. _'Hmm...a bit salty...but since it's Naruto-kun's, I guess I could live with that.' _"Besides, your cock is still hard."

Naruto blinked, and looked down to see that his member was still standing erect.

"Hee...I guess it has a mind of its own..." Naruto chuckled a bit.

"Good..." Hinata said, kissing Naruto on the lips for a few seconds. "Because it still has a little bit more work to do..."

**End of Short Lime/Lemon Scene. End of Short Lime/Lemon Scene.**

* * *

10 minutes later, both Hinata and Naruto came out of the back room, both grinning like they would die if they stopped. Once they got back to the main room, they were surprised to see that Lee was glowing with MASSIVE chakra, and his entire skin was a deep red color.

"What the heck happened?" Naruto cried over the wind that the effect was producing.

"Ah, Naruto. So glad you could join us," Kakashi said with a slight teasing tone. "Well, while you and Hinata were having your...fun...Lee and Gaara were pushing each other to the limit. And soon, Lee had to bring out the secret power of the Eight Inner Gates to combat Gaara."

Naruto was abput to ask what he meant, before he heard Lee's voice shout out from the battleground.

"I can feel it...holy SHIT, I can feel it! The power that's going through me! I think that I can...use Ninjutsu for a short time!" Lee laughed. Then he glared at Gaara. "I think I figured out the weakness of your so called 'Ultimate fuckin defense!' If the sand isn't fast enough, you're practically a sitting duck! So I have just the thing to take care of you!"

Lee flashed through a couple of handsigns, but before he could call out the name of the technique, the sand swarmed around him blocking him from view.

"LEE!/Bushy Brows!" Both Gai and Naruto shouted.

"You put up a good fight...but it's all over now," Gaara said, a crazed look in his eyes. "Now...HELP ME FEEL ALIVE!"

Gaara clutched his hand, fully expecting Lee to explode in blood. But instead, a huge poof of smoke pushed away the sand before it could crush the Leaf-nin.

But what came OUT of the smoke shocked everyone.

It was a truck.

A HUGE truck.

And it had the words, 'Ninja Dew' on it.

"What the...?" Gaara and the rest said, at a loss of words.

Lee quickly jumped to the top of the truck, a giant hose in his hand.

"How do ya like me now, ya little bastard?!" Lee shouted. "It's my own technique, Summoning_: Biiru Torakku! _(Beer Truck) Now...I think it's about time for ya to have a little shower! Rock Lee style!"

Lee turned on the hose at full power, and it sprayed the Ninja Dew at Gaara with frighting force. Gaara brought up the sand to defend, but the liquid covered it all, making it slink down to the ground as mud. The suna nin soon lost his footing, and fell to the ground, trying to cover his face as the beverage sprayed him without mercy.

"Yuck! Now there's the smell of Beer all over the place!" Ino whined, covering her nose.

"Oh, no...he found out the only weakness of Gaara's sand...get it wet and it crumbles into mud!" Temari said, nervous.

"This isn't good..." Kankuro growled.

Lee finally stopped spraying Gaara with the beer. The Suna-Nin was soaked to the brim with the stuff, and he looked even more pissed than he had before.

But before he could, Lee, with his enhanced speed from the Inner Gates, warped over to Gaara, shocking the Nin with how quickly he got to his space.

Lee didn't do anything for a minute. But then he smirked a nasty smirk, and gave Gaara a TWO finger salute this time. Then he kicked Gaara in the gut as hard as he could.

Gaara felt the wind go out of him as he bent over to cover his stomach.

Big mistake.

Lee turned his back to Gaara, and hooked his head onto his shoulder. Then he jumped as high into the air as he could, taking Gaara with him...only to land onto the floor backside first, and doing major damage to Gaara's neck as the Demon-Container flew a short distance into the air before he landed hard onto his back.

Kankuro and Temari stared in horror as they saw their brother get knocked out by the hit. Now they were worried that the Shukaku would show up and reek havoc...

But after a full minute, nothing happened, except for Lee going back to his regular state, falling to the floor and breathing hard. "That...was the Rock Lee Stunner. Remember it when you get out...of the ward...ya weak bastard..."

Hayate rose his arm and said, "By way of Knock-out, Rock Lee is the winner!"

Kankuro, Temari, Baki (their sensei) and Orochimaru (who was in disguise) couldn't believe it! Gaara, a very important part of their plan, was knocked out of the running before the main event!

This would SERIOUSLY hinder their plans...

* * *

And that's all for this chapter! I hope you liked the little Lime/Lemon that came with this chapter. I didn't want Naruto to last too long with his first time, even WITH the Kyuubi's chakra. Rest Assured, the Lemons will be MUCH longer and more detailed as Naruto gets more experience. Anyway, I won't be able to put up another chapter for a while, so I hope you liked this Double Update! Catch you next Continue! And try to guess why Shukaku didn't come out.

(1). Full Credit goes to Thoughtseeker for Hinata's technique.


	8. Naruto's Ultimate Movelist

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

Hello! Sorry, this isn't a new chapter. I said that I wouldn't update this for a while. But I just wanted to let you know that I've come up with what'll be Naruto's ultimate moves in the Comedy Combat Style! And here they are!

_Ryoku no Waraigoe: _Power of Laughter. The ultimate Ninjutsu move in Comedy Combat. This move will allow Naruto to recover any injury inflicted upon him simply by laughing.

_Sa-Kasu Tento: _Circus Tent. The Ultimate Genjutsu Move in Comedy Combat. Naruto will send his foe to a huge circus in his mind, that he controls completely. Just like Tsukyomi, only funnier.

_Kigeki Wazawai: _Comedy Calamity: The Ultimate move in the Comedy Comabt Style, PERIOD. You have to wait and see what it does for yourself later.

* * *

Anyway, those are Naruto's ultimate moves that he'll gain later on. But first, he'll have to face them himself...

Catch you next continue!


	9. A bit of teasing and training plans

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

Orochimaru was still in a state of shock. How could Gaara, his best chance for FINALLY destroying Konoha, fall before the main event?! It was inconceivable!

But Orochimaru had to admit to himself that it was the truth. Gaara had lost to a foul-mouthed boy in green spandex, and nothing could be done about it. He'd simply have to find another way to take down Konoha...and get Sasuke-kun as his prize...

But while he was taking the situation fairly well, the Suna nins were panicking. Since Gaara had been defeated, a major part of their plan had been CRUSHED. How were they supposed to take out Konoha now? What were they supposed to do now?

"I still can't believe it...Gaara was defeated...GAARA, of all people!" Kankuro said, still shocked by all of it. Then he let out a little glare, and turned towards Naruto, who was blushing and waving his right arm wildly while Sakura and Kakashi teased him about Hinata hanging off of his left arm. "And it was all because of that blond kid...if we're gonna continue on with the plan, then we have to watch out for him..."

"What do you mean, if we continue on with the plan?! With Gaara out of the running, how are we gonna continue on with it?!" Temari whispered harshly.

"Calm down, both of you! We'll simply have to report this matter to Kazekage-sama. Then, we can make our next move," Baki reminded them.

Meanwhile, Naruto was trying to get his friend and sensei to lay off of him.

"I keep telling you, nothing happened in the back!" Naruto shouted, blushing profusely.

"Oh, and I just suppose that those moans I heard coming from the back were ones of pain?" Kakashi snickered.

"You always were a bad liar, Naruto," Sakura giggled.

"We might as well tell them the truth, Naruto-kun. After all, there's no denying the fact that after what I did to you, the whole village must have heard!" Hinata giggled, rubbing her cheek against Naruto's arm.

Naruto glared at her half-heartedly. "You're not helping, Hinata-chan! And I did NOT moan that loud!"

"Oh, so you ADMIT that you were 'getting busy' back in the room?" Sakura crowed in triumph.

"YES! ...Wait, I mean NO! I mean...ARGGHHH!" Naruto shouted in frustration, making Hinata, Sakura and Kakashi laugh even harder.

"You may have gotten stronger, Naruto, but you are still the same clueless idiot that I know and put up with," Sakura said with a teasing smile.

Naruto couldn't help but grin back at that, while rubbing the back of his head. "Hey, I'm not THAT annoying, am I?"

But before Sakura and Kakashi could answer with a resounding 'YES!', the four heard a loud sound, followed by a small explosion of dust and smoke. When they looked back at the arena, they saw Chouji face down on the ground, swirls in his eyes, as Dosu stood over him with a smirk behind his bandaged mouth.

"The winner of this match is Kinta Dosu," Hayate annouced. "That puts an end to the fights for now."

Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit bad for the chubby boy. He didn't have anything that he thought could help the Akamichi, so he was on his own. Well, he'd find a way to make it up to him later on.

"Hmmm...the matches are finally over," Kakashi said.

"So, what happens now, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked. Naruto and Hinata nodded in agreement.

"Well, if the exams are still the same as before, then the winners will be called up to do a random drawing to see who fights who later on," Kakashi said. "Which means that you might finally have a chance to take on Sasuke, Naruto."

"Heh, I'm looking forward to that!" Naruto said with a sinster smirk on his face. "The main reason I took on the Comedy Combat style was so that I could beat that teme once and for all, so the sooner we finally face off, the better!"

"Yeah right, Naruto! You may have gotten real strong over a short amount of time, but you're still no match for Sasuke-kun! Do you really think that attacks like that will work on a shinobi as disciplined as him?" Sakura scoffed.

"Hey, ya never know until ya try!" Naruto replied.

"Will all the winners of their matches come on down to the arena so that we may begin the drawing?" Hayate called out.

"Well, that's our cue! Let's go, Hinata-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said.

"Right!" The two laides nodded, following Naruto down to the spot they were called at.

As Kakashi watched them go, he chuckled to himself. _'Sakura...you may not notice yet, but you are slowly getting more and more attached to Naruto. At this rate, it won't be too long before you join them in their little...fun.' _The Copy-Nin was getting a little nosebleed at the thought of it.

_'Naruto, you lucky son of a bitch...'_

As the last person pulled their ball out of the box, Hayate commanded them to speak their number out loud, starting with Naruto.

"One!" Naruto said.

"Three!" Hinata said.

"Four." Temari said.

"Five." Shikamaru said in a bored tone.

"Six!" Lee said in a gruff voice.

"Seven." Shino said in a slient tone.

"Eight." Kankuro said with a smirk.

"Nine." Dosu said.

"And if you count the absent Sasuke, he gets two," Hayate said. "And so, the matches are set up like so."

Uzumaki Naruto Vs. Uchiha Sasuke

Hyuuga Hinata Vs. Temari

Nara Shikamaru Vs. Rock Lee

Aburame Shino Vs. Kankuro

And Dosu facing the winner of that fight.

_'YES! I get to fight that teme right at the start!' _Naruto cheered in his mind. _'Look out, Sasuke! You won't know what hit you by the time I'm done!'_

_'Hm, so I'm facing that Hyuuga girl, huh?' _Temari thought. _'I doubt her Ecstasy Fist works against members of the same sex, so I've got nothing to worry about.'_

Oh, if she knew how WRONG she was...

_'Ah man! I've gotta fight someone as powerful as Lee? Troublesome. Maybe I should just quit now...' _Shikamaru thought. Then he thought about how his mother, Nara Yoshino would take to that statement, and shivered. _'On second thought, I'd rather be beaten to an inch of my life than deal with that troublesome woman...'_

_'So, I fight against the Puppet-wielder, huh?' _Shino thought to himself.

_"Hmmm...seems that I get a bye...well, no complaints here...I'll just CRUSH the winner...' _Dosu snickered to himself.

After a whole lot of congrats and speeches from Sarutobi (which Naruto found VERY boring), the old Hokage announced that everyone would be given a one month break to learn some new tricks, rest up, and acclaim more fame.

Naruto was slightly disappointed to learn that they wouldn't be getting to the fighting NOW, but could sort of see the point. After all, when he kicked Sasuke's ass, he wanted it to be when they were both at their best.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later, Hinata-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said.

Sakura said good-bye as well, and left to find and talk to Ino. But Hinata stook around a bit longer, and looked Naruto in the eye.

"Naruto-kun, do you think I could train with you for the next month?" Hinata asked bluntly.

Naruto looked a little suprised at the question. But soon, his surprise turned into happiness. "Of course you can come, Hinata-chan!" Naruto said. But then he frowned a bit. "But won't your family have a little problem with that?"

Hinata's face went into a deep frown at the mention of her 'family', but it went away quickly. "Oh, you just leave them to ME, Naruto-kun. I'll meet you at your place, okay?"

"Hey, Naruto!" A loud voice said. The two turned to see Ino rushing towards them.

"Oh, hi, Ino," Naruto said. "Sakura-chan was looking for you, ya know."

"Forehead-girl can wait. I want you to train me!" Ino demanded.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "And why would I want to do that?"

"Because I'm sick of Asuma not training my team, and most importantly ME, enough! I lost to FOREHEAD-GIRL of all people! That's proof that I need as much training as I can get! And with the way a dead-last like you was able to beat Kiba, than if I take on this training, I could EASILY beat Billboard Brow!" Ino explained.

Hinata frowned a bit towards the blond, taking offense at ANYONE calling her Naruto-kun 'dead-last.' But she knew that the final say was up to Naruto.

Naruto himself nearly said no right at the start. But than he thought about it. Learning the Comedy Combat Style involved going through PLENTY of pain and humiliation before truly mastering it. Heck, even Naruto was still a novice compared to his mother when she was his age. Ino would quit right after the first lesson! And even if she didn't, it would still be good for a laugh.

"Okay, Ino-chan. You can join Hinata-chan and me," Naruto chuckled, much to Hinata's surprise. Naruto just winked at her when Ino wasn't looking, and Hinata giggled at the look of mischief in his eyes.

"Good!" Ino said in an imperial tone, like she expected she would get what she wanted all along.

"Hey!" Lee said, walking over to the trio.

"Oh, hey Lee, what-" Naruto began, before he was cut off by the new foul-mouthed Lee.

"Now listen here, ya little cheeky bastard. The old me may have been trying to act all buddy-buddy with ya at this point. But as far as I'm concerned, there is only one thing that I follow at all times, and that's my motto. DTA: Don't trust anybody. Anyway, you WILL show me how to handle this new style of fighting I have, and you WILL show me as soon as possible. Otherwise, I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in ya ass, and enjoy every single goddamn minute of it! And that's the bottom line, because Rock Lee said so!"

And with that, Lee walked away, his sensei Gai shouting after him about how unyouthful that was.

"...What crawled up his ass and died?" Ino sniffed, a bit turned off by the Taijutsu user's attitude.

"Don't worry about him. Anyway, I guess I'll meet you guys at my house tommorrow. Sound good?" Naruto asked.

"Sure, Naruto-kun!" Hinata chirped.

"Whatever, just as long as I get stronger!" Ino scoffed.

And as the three went their sepreate ways, no one noticed the disguised Orochimaru pick up the vial that Naruto had dropped eariler...

* * *

And that's all for now. Not much happened in this chapter, but I hope I set up for what will be some very...interesting few chapters to come. What kind of training will Naruto and his friends (Unless you ask Rock Lee) go through? What will Orochimaru do with the antidote now that he has it in his grasp? And how will everyone else go about their training? Find out in the next chapter, 'Training for a Show: Part 1'. Catch you next continue!


	10. Training for a Show! Part 1

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

"Oh fatherrrr..." Hinata called out as she made her way to the main room where her father would be residing at.

Sure enough, he was there. But he wasn't alone.

He was currently training Hinata's little sister, Hyuuga Hanabi. Hiashi had always favored the young girl over Hinata because she always beat Hinata whenever they sparred. Hinata held no ill will towards her, but held it rather towards her father.

Hinata knew that her father didn't always act like the careless, cold hearted stiff that he was today. In fact, it was quite the opposite when her mother, Hyuuga Hisa was still alive. Believe it or not, you couldn't meet a kinder, happier man back in that day. Hell, he even gave Kushina a run for her money at being happy all the time. And she was the one who invented COMEDY COMBAT, for Kami's sake!

But that all changed after she had passed away. Ever since then, Hiashi had become cold, uncaring, and unmoving. He became what every shinobi strived to become at the start. The ultimate killing machine.

But there were still times that Hinata could see a tiny portion of the Hiashi she knew and loved deep within his eyes. She strived to bring back that Hiashi, and that was the main reason she had to train with Naruto. When Hiashi saw how far she had come, then maybe he would begin to turn back to his old self...his old, caring, loving self.

At least, that's what Hinata hoped.

The Hyuuga Head and Hanabi stopped their practicing at the sound of Hinata's voice, and turned towards the female Hyuuga. Hanabi's face lit up a tiny bit at seeing her sister, but it quickly vanished before the elder Hyuuga could see it.

"Ah, Hinata. I've been meaning to talk to you," Hiashi said.

"That's good, because I've been wanting to talk to you as well, father," Hinata said, causing Hiashi to raise an eyebrow. Since when did his little girl get so...confident?

"Very well, but first, I must give congrats on your victory over Neji," Hiashi said. "To tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd be able to win should the two of you had squared off, but I'm pleased that I was wrong. And the one who delivered the news to me even informed me that you didn't have to use the Curse Mark to do it!"

But then Hiashi frowned a bit. "But when I inquired as to how you managed to defeat your cousin, the man simply blushed and ran away before I could stop him. Care to let me know why?"

Hinata didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then she looked her father in the eye and said, "Depending on your answer to my next statement, father, you might find out."

Hiashi's eyebrow went even higher as she said this. Her little victory against Neji must have really fueled her confidence. ...Weirdly enough, he didn't know what to make of this...new Hinata.

"Very well. What is it that you wish to say to me?" Hiashi said.

Hinata, without once looking away from Hiashi's gaze, stated, "I am to train with Naruto-kun for the next month prior to the finals for the Chuunin Exams."

Hiashi's face darkened at that. He didn't hate the boy like the elders of his family did, but he wasn't that fond of him either. How could Hinata benefit from learning from someone who was the dead-last of the academy?

"I am sorry, Hinata, but I must decline. I cannot see how you can gain anything from learning under Uzumaki," Hiashi replied.

Hinata narrowed her eyes. "I thought you might say something like that. So I've come up with a deal," she said, taking a stance. "If I can beat you in combat, then you'll allow me to train with Naruto-kun. No questions."

Hanabi gasped a little at Hinata's words. What did her sister think she was doing...? Surely, she didn't really think that she could defeat their father when she couldn't even beat herself, did she?

Hiashi chuckled a bit at this declaration. "Very well. If you can defeat me, then I will allow you to train under Uzumaki," he said, taking up his own stance.

The two stared each other down for a few moments, each waiting for the other to make a move. Finally, Hinata charged foreward, Byakugan ablaze.

Hiashi was surprised by this new version of his daughter...and wanted to see how powerful she had become. So he allowed her to hit him at least once.

BIG mistake.

Hinata struck him in the chest, right were the heart would be located. Hiashi, shocked, looked down at the tiny palm that had striked him in that spot. He didn't think Hinata had it in her.

Hanabi watched in horror as this happened. Was her sister trying to KILL their father? Did she really resent him that muc-

Wait a minute.

Did her father, Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga and one of the most POWERFUL ninja within Konohakagure...

MOAN?

Hanabi couldn't believe her ears as the Hyuuga let out a loud moan of pleasure as he dropped to his knees, eyes wide open. She watched as her sister traced her hand slowly over her father's chest, and heard as his moans became more frequent.

Hiashi couldn't believe what was happening. How was Hinata, his own DAUGHTER, able to instill these feelings into him? He hadn't felt this feeling ever since Hisa and him had their last...bad thoughts, BAD THOUGHTS!

"This is what I'll be learning while under Naruto-kun, father. It's something I call...the Ecstasy Fist," Hinata said with a tiny giggle. "I tell you, you can NOT believe how weird this feels..."

_'Tell me about it...' _Hiashi thought, trying to fight through the pleasure, and REALLY trying to not think of his daughter doing the same things that Hisa had done to him. Although...Hinata did look like Hisa did when she was her age...NO!

"Anyway, I've got to get to Naruto-kun now, so I have to end this. Please forgive me," Hinata said.

...Right before she kicked her dad in the balls.

Hiashi's reaction was just like Neji's. Only his squeak was even more high-pitched as he fell to the ground.

Hinata gave a little bow, before she turned towards her shell-shocked sister. "Make sure that he gets medical attention as soon as possible, okay, Hanabi-chan?"

Dumbfounded, Hanabi could only nod as Hinata went on her marry way.

**Comedy Combat!**

"DAAAAADDDDD!" Ino called out as she got to her home.

Yamanaka Inochi, Ino's father, was standing behind the counter of the flower shop as he saw his daughter walk in. "Ah, Ino-chan! You're just in time to take over the duty of watching over the store!" Inochi said.

"There's no time for that, papa!" Ino said, gathering some stuff into a bag. "I've got training to do!"

"Training? Didn't Asuma-sensei give you the rest of the day off?" Inochi questioned, a big red question mark over his head.

Ino scoffed. "I'm not talking about that lazy prick, papa! I'm going to be training under Naruto!"

Inochi raised an eyebrow at this. He, as well as Shikamaru's father and Chouji's father didn't hate the boy because of the Kyuubi, but they were also rather indifferent towards him. Why would his daughter want to train under the supposed dead-last of the academy?

Before he could voice this, Ino, who was still packing, said," He beat Kiba, ya know. KIBA, the number one Taijutsu user in this year's class aside from Sasuke-kun himself! He must have had some INTENSE training in order to do that!"

Inochi couldn't believe what he just heard. The Uzumaki kid had defeated Kiba, one of the top students of the graduating year? How?

But before Inochi could ask, Ino went on, "And the weird thing is that Naruto beat the dog-boy with pies, a banana-peel and, get this, a RUBBER CHICKEN! Can you believe it, papa?"

Inochi was shocked. A dead-last boy beat one of the top students just by using things that would be normally seen in a bad comedy fanfic?

But before he could ask more, he was cut off, once again, by Ino, "Anyway, I thought to myself, 'If Naruto could beat Kiba with such STUPID moves, then think about what he could teach me! I could crush forehead girl without a sweat, Sasuke-kun would fall in madly in love with me, and we'd make tons of Uchiha baibes!"Ino let out a perverted giggle at that thought.

Inochi tried to say something again but...guess what? "Anyway I'm going over to Naruto's so that I can learn his moves and get stronger so could you watch the shop for me yes yes you could because I'm daddy's little girl and daddy's little girl always gets what she wants and you don't want to prove that wrong so thanks dad I'll see ya later love ya bye!" And she was off.

Inochi didn't say anything for a while. But then he went...

"I KNEW she took up her mother's side of the family."

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

"Lee, could you please stop with the swearing, already?" Tenten sighed.

"Hell no, bitch, this is how I talk! If you've got a problem with it, then you can just kiss my well toned ass, because Rock Lee said so!" Lee scoffed, kicking the tree in front of him.

"Look, Lee, this has gone on far enough! Your new attitude is pissing me off. So either knock it off, or I'll MAKE you knock it off!" Tenten growled.

"WHAT?!" Lee said.

"You heard me!" Tenten said.

"WHAT?!" Lee said again.

"I said, you heard m-"

"WHAT?!"

"Lee, knock it of-"

"WHAT?!"

"I'm warning yo-"

"WHAT?!"

"QUIT I-"

"WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! **WHAT?!"**

_"THAT DOES IT!"_ Tenten shrieked, pulling out her weapons scroll.

"No Tenten! You must not harm Lee!" Gai shouted, holding her back.

"_WHY NOT?!" _Tenten shouted, beyond pissed.

"Because it's MY job!" Gai replied, pulling out a steel chair out of nowhere and wacking Lee upside the head with it. The spandex clad boy flew away from the tree, and fell in a heap a few feet away.

Soon though, he got back up and said, "Ow...what youthful force hit me...?"

He turned to look at a relieved Gai, and a P.M.Sing Tenten.

"...What did I miss, youthful friends?"

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

Orochimaru stood before a team of his most advanced med-ninja's, all of them looking at the vial that he had locked away.

"What can you tell me about this vial?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Well, sir, we've learned that this vial is an antidote to another type of vial, but we aren't quite sure what the other type of vial is yet," One of the Ninja replied.

Orochimaru frowned, before he remembered that the Uzumaki kid had given the Hyuuga a Vial of a different color. And he also remembered the boost in power the girl displayed after she had taken it. Perhaps this was the antidote to said vial...?

"Tell me, do you think that you'll be able to find out the properties that were put into this vial and...reverse them?" Orochimaru demanded.

"Well, it may take a while, but if we were to put our best effort into it, then we could be done just before the Chuunin Exam finals," Another Ninja replied.

Orochimaru nodded his head, satisfied with the answer. "See to it that you do. Focus all of your time into reversing the antidote. Failure is NOT an option," he commanded.

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama," All of the ninja said, bowing.

The Snake-sannin grinned an evil grin. If that vial that the Uzumaki boy had given that Hyuuga girl granted her that much strength, then think about what it could do for HIM...

He chuckled darkly. Konoha wouldn't stand a chance...

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

And that's all for now! I hope you enjoyed the way I showed off the characters this chapter. It was mostly meant to be funny, so the training will come up next chapter! Plus (for those who care), I'll be introducing Sasuke into the fic at last! Until then, Catch you next continue!


	11. Training for a Show! Part 2! Lime!

Clowning Around

Written By: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

I wasn't gonna update this for a while. But I did it just so I could piss of a flamer called Kami the Commie. Read his reviews for this story, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was a man of many principals. Not many knew that about himself. Heck, he even carried a little book titled 'Principals and You', written by himself. Needless to say, it would be a best-seller if he ever released it to the public (that is, if his fangirls had anything to say about it).

Principal Number one. Tomatos would be right next to getting his revenge as the most IMPORTANT thing in the world.

Principal Number two. Always sleep with the doors and windows LOCKED, and one eye open. Because you never knew when the fangirls would get desperate.

Principal Number three. All fangirls were NUTS. Espically ones by the name of Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino.

And finally Principal Number four. Naruto was a dobe, and would always be weaker than him, or anyone close to his level.

Those were the four principals that Sasuke built his foundation on.

But with what he had just heard, the fourth one was in danger. SERIOUS danger.

"Let me get this straight," Sasuke said to Kakashi while sitting in his hospital bed. "You're telling me that Naruto, the DOBE, managed to defeat KIBA, of all people? And he managed to do it without getting a scratch on him?"

"Yes, that's just what I told you, Sasuke," Kakashi replied.

Sasuke looked away from Kakashi for a second.

How? HOW? How could the DOBE of all people beat someone who was almost as skilled as himself? And how could he do it WITHOUT getting hurt?

"...How did Naruto win?" Sasuke asked finally.

"Sorry, Sasuke, but I can't tell you," Kakashi replied.

"...And why not?" Sasuke asked with a bit of a growl.

"Because I promised Naruto that you wouldn't find out about his new style until the two of you faced off at last," Kakashi replied. "He wants to keep it a surprise. After all, he began to learn it mainly for the purpose of defeating you once and for all."

While Sasuke was a tiny bit pleased that Naruto had learned a brand new style just for the sake of beating him, he didn't show it. Instead, he scoffed. "Hn. Fine. If that dobe wants to keep his precious style a secret, then it's no skin off my nose. When the time comes, I'll make sure he knows his place once and for all."

"Well, you might get a chance sooner than you thought. Because the very first match in the finals is You Vs. Naruto," Kakashi replied.

"...Is that so?" Sasuke said, a little smirk on his face. "I can't wait to show that dobe who's the superior one..."

"...We'll see, Sasuke. We'll see," Kakashi said, getting up from his chair. "Anyway, are you feeling well enough to learn a new move?"

"I'm ALWAYS feeling good enough to learn a new move, Kakashi," the Uchiha said in an arrogant tone.

"Very well. But understand this. I'm only going to teach you the new move, and then you and Naruto are on your own for training," Kakashi said.

"Whatever. Just teach me the move already," Sasuke said, getting out of the bed.

Kakashi sighed as the two left the room. _'Sasuke really needs to lighten up. And I think that Naruto is the one who can help him do just that,' _he thought. _'Even though I'm teaching him the Chidori, I hope that you can beat him Naruto...for his own good.'_

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

"...So let me see if I understand this...you are saying that I was...rude...?" Lee inquired.

"Yes," Tenten nodded.

"And...abraisive?" Lee inquired.

"Yes," Gai nodded.

"And...a foul-mouthed, rednecked, unconsiderate son of a bitch...?" Lee inquired.

"Well...I wouldn't put it that way, my youthful pupil..." Gai said, giving Tenten a look that she ignored. "But...yes."

Lee started to gather tears in his eyes.

MANLY TEARS.

"Oh, Gai-sensei! Tenten-san! Please forgive me!" Lee sobbed, hugging both around the necks. "I...I don't know what came over me, or how it did, but I promise you...It will NEVER happen again!"

Gai returned the hug with gusto, while Tenten began to sweatdrop at Lee actions.

"It's okay, my youthful student! I knew that you weren't yourself! You have caused no harm to anyone (except for Gaara, but he was the enemy. Plus, he was MOST unyouthful. I mean, what kind of person in their Springtime of Youth wants another person's BLOOD?)! But I wouldn't say that you should lock that other side of you away forever," Gai said.

"WHAT?!" Both Lee and Tenten said, Tenten screaming it.

"Hear me out, my students!" Gai said. "While it is true that the other side of you may be...less than youthful to be around, there is no denying his strength. After all, it was because of him that you were able to defeat Gaara-san. What I suggest is that you head over to Naruto's place, and have him TEACH you how to control this new you to some extent."

"Hai, Gai-sensei!" Lee said, giving Gai a salute, and writing everything that Gai said in a little notebook that he pulled out of nowhere. Then he got a confused look on his face. "But how would Naruto-kun be able to help me with my little...problem?"

"Well, I noticed that you didn't begin acting the way you did until Naruto-kun gave you that drink, which I'm STILL trying to find out what type it was. So he might have an idea as to what it was. Plus, your other side pretty much DEMANDED that you recieve training from Naruto-kun," Gai explained.

Lee nodded his head. "Than I shall do it! I shall train under Naruto-kun, and regain my lost flames of youth!" Lee said, fire in his eyes.

But Tenten was growling inside her mind. _'So, it was NARUTO who created that bastard side of Lee! Well then, I'm gonna follow Lee to Naruto's place, and give him a piece of my mind! Not to mention my FOOT, and several kunai, up his ASS!'_

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

_'Well...this must be the place...' _Ino thought to herself, grimacing.

Needless to say, she didn't think much of Naruto's apartment. At ALL.

_'This place makes Asuma-sensei's place look like paradise...' _Ino thought in her head, dreading the fact that she had to go anywhere NEAR such a VILE place, let alone go INSIDE it.

"Maybe I should just yell for that baka to come out here, so I won't have to go near that FILTHY place," Ino said to herself. But then she shook her head. "I don't want Naruto, of all people, to think that I can't get down and dirty if I wanted and/or needed to. ...Boy, that sounded wrong..."

So with her resolve fully in check, the blond female went up the dusty stairs that led to Naruto's apartment. And after several seconds of making sure that she didn't step in anything, was about to knock (bang) on Naruto's door and ask (demand) that she be let in.

But she stopped as soon as she heard voices.

"Huh...that sounds like...Hinata..." Ino whispered to herself.

_'Naruto-kun, are you sure we should do this? The others could show up any minute...'_

_'I'm sure, Hinata-chan. After all, you gave me pleasure the last time. Now it's your turn...'_

Ino's eyes widened. Hinata had given Naruto pleasure?! As in...sexually?! She knew that the Hyuuga had had the BIGGEST crush on Naruto for a while now...but she didn't think that Hinata would ACT on it so quickly. And so STRONGLY!

_'Okay, Naruto-kun. If you insist...'_

Ino, curious girl that she is, couldn't help but to open the door. Only a tiny bit, though, since she didn't want them to see her. And what she saw made her gasp.

Hinata and the blond baka were KISSING. They had their arms wrapped around each other, and they were KISSING! Ino was shocked. She didn't think that the Hyuuga had it in her. Her only thought was...how far would they go?

She got her answer as, while they were kissing, Naruto slowly slid his hand up Hinata's shirt, caressing and tickling the smooth skin underneath it, causing Hinata to giggle a bit in their kiss. But soon, he reached her bra-less right breast, and began to fondle it a bit, causing Hinata to break the kiss, and let out a low moan. "N-Naruto-kun..." She whimpered.

Ino couldn't believe it. She had no idea the two (especially Hinata) were so...DARING! They both knew that Lee and herself could come in at anytime, and yet they were still going through with it! When had they become so daring...and kami, why was this little display turning her on?!

As Hinata let out small whimpers and moans at Naruto's administrations, the blond let out a smirk, and softly kissed the side of Hinata's neck, bitting it gently, and sliding his tongue over it. Unknown to Hinata, he had read much more than just the man seducing part. And now, he was putting that knowledge to good use.

Soon enough he pulled away, much to Hinata's dissapointment, and instead hooked his hands on the bottem of the Hyuuga's shirt. Hinata got what he was doing, and lifted her arms so that Naruto could pull the shirt over her head. He did so, and tossed it away to a part of the room. He then brought both his hands up this time, and began to fondle the Hyuuga's heaving melons.

"Man, Hinata-chan. These are pretty big for your age...are all Hyuuga women like this...?" Naruto said, taking in the look of pleasure in Hinata's half-lidded eyes.

"Mmmm...I'm...ahhhh...I'm not sure...ohhhh..." Hinata moaned. "It's not as if...that feels good...not as if I just check out women's breasts all...Mmmmm...day."

"I guess you're just gifted then," Naruto chuckled, before he wrapped his mouth around Hinata's left nipple.

Hinata quickly put her hands on top of his head as he began lapping at the nipple for a bit, before sucking it into his mouth, and bitting the tip. "Naruto-kun...that...that feels so good..." Hinata panted.

Ino felt that she was getting a little wet down in her special area. This is what she always dreamed of Sasuke-kun doing to her! But to dream it, and actually SEE it before her eyes was incredible! She loved the sounds of Hinata's moans, and the sound of the wet pop that went out whenever Naruto released his hold on Hinata's breast, and swiched to the other one. She saw that the other blond was getting ready to relieve the Hyuuga of her pants...and she began to lower her hand towards her pussy to get ready for the show that she would witness...

"HELLO, MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND, INO-SAN!" Lee shouted from out of nowhere, making Ino jump forward into the door, slamming it shut.

Naruto and Hinata heard the slam (not to mention Lee's loud voice, and quickly pulled apart, Hinata reaching to grab her shirt.

Ino had a bump on her head, and angry tears at the corners of her eyes. She turned angrily towards Lee, who gulped nervously when he saw how MURDEROUS she looked.

"Lee...prepare to DIE," Ino growled, cracking her knuckles.

5 minutes later, Naruto and Hinata came out of the door, both looking decent.

"Hello, Lee. Are...you...ready..." Naruto began, but stopped as he took in the sight before him.

Lee was nothing more than a heap in the corner, twitching slightly, while a pissed off Ino was glaring at nothing in particular, a bump on her forehead.

"...What did we miss?" Naruto asked.

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

"Ah, so this is where that Naruto lives, eh?" Tenten whispered to herself, her head poking out of some bushes. Some of the people were staring at her with their eyebrows raised, but she ignored them.

"Heh Heh Heh...that BASTARD shall pay for turning Lee into the inconsiderate Redneck that his other side was...and he shall pay DEARLY...Heh Heh Heh..." Tenten chuckled, rubbing her hands together with an evil smirk on her face.

"Mommy, what is the scary lady doing over there?" A random kid said.

"Oh, she's just plotting the massive destruction of the man who pissed her off," the kid's mother said.

"Oh, like what you do when you think of daddy?"

"Yes, son. JUST like that."

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

And that's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, and catch you next continue! The training will FINALLY come in the final part.


	12. Explainations and a Rant

Okay. Now that I've got your attention, I just wanted to explain a few things about the story, so that hopefully, I won't be receving anymore...less than flattering reviews for a while.

1st off, Naruto WON'T be using the Comedy Combat style in ALL of his fights. Even he knows when it's time to get serious. Plus, learning the style just for the sake of beating Sasuke? Just a front. I don't want to spoil anything, but I'll just say this. As there are two sides to every coin, the same can be said for people. And Naruto is no exception.

2nd off, I've decided that some of you have a valid point. If I taught the Comedy Combat Style to EVERYONE, then it wouldn't be as unique as I'm trying to make it be. So, I have decided to limit it to only Naruto, his harem, and a select few, such as Sasuke, Lee, and Orochimaru.

3rd off, don't worry. Kakashi WILL teach something GREAT to Naruto before the big fight between Sasuke and the blond in question. I'm NOT gonna have Kakashi neglect Naruto like he did in canon.

And finally, I shall explain everything about Comedy Combat, it's orgin, and how Kushina came to die as the next few chapters come out.

And now that that's out of the way, I'd like to say a few words that's SURE to make me lose a few fans. And I'd like to direct these words to one person in particular.

Narutomanic.

How DARE you.

You know, there is only so far that my respect policy will take me with certian people.

YOU are one of those people.

I respect that you don't like the way that I'm writing this story.

I respect that you have a different view of Naruto than I do.

HELL, I respect that you dislike (or rather, outright LOATH) Sasuke, who is one of my favorite characters.

But what I DON'T respect, is what you said in your second review.

Here's what I mean.

'**...none of the jokes are funny...seriously...no one but a moron, retard, or toddler would laugh at any of these...'**

I don't know if you noticed it or not, but you insulted all of the readers and fans of this fic that LIKED the jokes that I put out. And while I don't care what you say about me or this story, you NEVER insult my readers. It's because of that RUDE comment, that you are officially on my Shit-list, as well as VERY close to my BLOCK-list.

You may continue to read this story if you wish. And I'll take any reviews you give me.

But I WARN you, if you ever, and I mean EVER insult the people who LIKE this fic again, I will not hesitate to BLOCK YOUR ASS. Clear?

If so, then have a nice day.

And for the most likely few readers I have left after this little stunt, Catch you next continue!


	13. Training for a Show! Part 3

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

I'm back! Okay, sorry about the last chapter. I was just in a rather...foul mood when I typed it. But rest assured, I WILL continue to write this story until it is finished, regardless of how many assholes flame it. Anyway, I just wanted to warn you that, while this chapter will have its funny moments like always, it will be MUCH more serious than the ones before it, at least at the end. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

After Lee had recovered from the beating that he had recieved at the hands of Ino, the four comrades made their way into Naruto's apartment.

"Geez, Naruto. Ever heard of spring cleaning?" Ino sniffed as they went through the...less than clean room.

"No. And even if I did, I most likely wouldn't care about it," Naruto replied, waving his hand.

"So, what youthful training will you be putting us through for the next month, Naruto-kun?" Lee inquired.

"It's..." Naruto began.

"Yes?" Ino said.

"It's..." Naruto went on.

"Yes?" Lee went.

"IT'S..."

"YES?!" Both Lee and Ino shouted.

"...A Secret!" Naruto said with a smile on his face.

And all he got was a smack on the head for his troubles, thanks to Ino.

"Quit screwing around, Naruto-baka!" Ino snarled, glaring at the other blond.

"Geez...bite my head off for trying to be funny, why don't you?" Naruto muttered, rubbing his head. "Anyway, we _won't_ be training here. I just needed to grab a few things so that we could prepare for the real exercise."

"For your sake, Naruto, I hope this training is worth it..." Ino growled.

"Don't worry, Ino-chan. You'll be getting all the training you'll need, and more. Trust me," Naruto chuckled, picking up a scroll. "Okay, I got what I needed. Let's head over to the Training Ground."

And with that, Naruto and his fellow Ninjas went off towards the true training ground, the new students of Comedy Combat ready to learn from their new teacher.

**COMEDY COMBAT**

"CHIDORI!" Sasuke shouted, focusing the lighting into his palm.

Or at least...he TRIED to focus it. But it only appeared in his hand for a second before it vanished.

"Tch...Damn it..." Sasuke growled, glaring at his hand. Why...why was it so hard?!

"I keep telling you, Sasuke, you need to focus all of your thoughts into the palm of your hand. If you let your mind wander for even a _second_ before the Chidori is complete, it'll vanish before you can do anything," Kakashi sighed.

Sasuke ignored him as he tried the Jutsu again. It stayed for a longer time, but it vanished again.

"Kuso...this is a waste of time..." Sasuke said. "I could easily learn how to do this if you would just let me copy it with my Sharingan..."

"You know that I can't let you do that, Sasuke. It's one thing to copy a jutsu. But to LEARN it takes more thought and focus. The Chidori won't be anywhere _near_ as powerful if you just copy it from me," Kakashi said.

"Hn..." Sasuke grunted. "Oh well. I'll master this thing soon enough. Heh...I can't wait to see the look on the dobe's face when I spring this on him..."

All of a sudden, Kakashi zipped over to Sasuke's position, and grabbed him by the throat, slamming him against the canyon wall that they were at. Sasuke gasped in a bit of pain as he felt his back ram against the wall, and stared at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"...Now listen, Sasuke. I'm going to say this once, and _only_ once. The main reason that I'm teaching you this jutsu is so that you can have some form of protection from Orochimaru, or _anyone_ that tries to threaten you _or_ your friends," Kakashi said in a calm, deadly tone. "But you are to** never** use it against a comrade, **_especially_** Naruto. Because if you do...there will be **dire** consequences."

With that, Kakashi slowly released his grip on the Uchiha's throat, and let him down gently onto the ground. Then, while Sasuke was trying to get his breath back, he strolled back over to the spot he was sitting at, and went back to reading his Icha Icha, like nothing had happened.

When he finally got his breath back, Sasuke (being ever defiant) said, "...And what would happen if I WERE to use it on a comrade, Kakashi...?"

"Well...if it were against anyone but Naruto...I'd punish you myself," Kakashi replied. "...But if it were _Naruto_ that you used it on...well, let's just say that what I would do to you would seem like a slap on the wrist compared to what he would do... No more questions. Get back to work."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi for a bit, rubbing his neck, before going back to learning the Chidori.

But now...he found himself curious...about Naruto.

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

"You...wanted to see me, Orochimaru-sama?" Tsuchi Kin, a rather average Kunoichi belonging to the Sound Village, said nervously, walking up to the Snake-Sannin.

"Ah, Kin. So nice of you to finally join me," Orochimaru said, his attention on a large tube that was filled with water and covered half of the room...and the antidote that he had obtained within the middle of it. "...Do you know why I have called you here at this time?"

Kin gulped. She had some idea why her lord had sent for her. She, as well as the rest of the Sound Ninja, knew that if there was one thing that Orochimaru didn't tolerate, it was failure. And given her rather...poor performance during her fight with that lazy Nara boy, it was understandable that the first thing that came to her mind was that her life was about to come to an end.

After all, she had witnessed first-hand what Orochimaru did to people who falied him.

It wasn't pretty.

But before she could respond, Orochimaru went on. "Kukukuku...I can smell your fear, Kin-chan. Smell it...and TASTE it. It's been quite sometime since I was able to last do so."

Kin was VERY close to throwing up at the sound of delight in Orochimaru voice.

"But you needn't worry, Kin-chan. I have not called you here to have you meet with death. ...At least, not this day," Orochimaru chuckled, finally turning towards Kin, and delighting in the look of fear in her eyes. "I have a new mission for you...one you would do well to not fail me on this time..."

Kin just nodded towards the sadistic nin, not trusting her voice to make a full sentence at the moment.

"Good. Now, as for your mission...I want you to get close to a boy by the name of Uzumaki Naruto-kun. Don't ask me why, I just want you to do it. Find out anything and everything about him. Where he obtained that new fighting style of his, why he learned it, and how he managed to create the vial you see before you. From what Kabuto-kun has said, that foolish boy is far too trusting for his own good, so it should be easy for you to get close enough to him to learn all his secrets," Orochimaru said. Then he made a little pause. "In fact, feel free to take one more female with you, if you wish. I don't care who it is, so long as you complete the mission."

He got a little glint in his eye as he said his next words. "Faliure is not an option this time, Kin-chan. I won't be as forgiving if you fail me this time. Make sure that you are to remember that."

"Y-Yes, Orochimaru...sama," Kin stuttered, giving him a shaky salute.

Orochimaru nodded. "Good. That shall be all," the Sannin said, waving Kin away and turning back towards the tube. He didn't notice, or didn't care, when Kin rushed out of the room as quickly as she could.

"Kukukuku...It's only a matter of time before I shall obtain everything I desire...and it will all come to fruition with this vial..."

Then he reached into his robe, and began to massage a scar that was put onto his shoulder recently.

"Not to mention that I will have my revenge on the Uzumaki boy...the one who inflicted this scar on my body..."

**COMEDY COMBAT!**

Naruto and his newfound students finally made it to the training ground. Naruto turned towards the rest of them, dropping the scroll onto the ground.

"Okay, before we begin, I want to ask you all something," Naruto said.

"What is it, Naruto-kun?" Lee asked, paying close attention.

"Why do you all want to learn the Comedy Combat style?"

"So I could get closer to you, Naruto-kun," Hinata replied. "Plus, if I can master it, I might be able to bring some life back into the dull home that the Hyuuga clan has become.

"I want to become stronger so that I may fulfill my dreams as a genius of hard work!" Lee said, pumping his fist into the air.

"And I just want to kick Sakura's ass once and for all so that I can win Sasuke-kun's love!" Ino declared.

Naruto sweatdropped at the last reason. "Very well..._most_ of you have very good reasons for wanting to learn this style."

Then his face turned serious. "But I warn you, this style belongs to my family, and my family **only**. I may be teaching it to you, but I want you to _promise_ me that you will keep all of the secrets to yourself. Okay?"

Hinata nodded without a second thought. Lee did the same. Ino pouted, but nodded her head as well.

"Good!" Naruto smiled. Then he began to unroll the scroll that he brought with him.

"Naruto-kun, what is in that scroll?" Hinata inquired, curious.

"Well, Hinata-chan, do you remember that while I was fighting Kiba, I used all sorts of things to fight him, including pies, a rubber chicken, and a portable fan?" Naruto said.

Hinata nodded, as did Lee.

"Come to think of it, I do remember you pulling all of that stuff from out of nowhere during that fight. So...does that scroll have anything to do with it?" Ino questioned.

"Very good, Ino-chan. Who says that blonds are dumb?" Naruto replied, getting a small glare out of Ino. "Yes, this scroll contains the Jutsu that allowed me to do all of that. It's called, the _Gyagu Sori no Shi-ru _(Gag Warp Seal)**1. **Anyone who has this seal on them will be able to, with practice, pull anything they can think of from out of nowhere simply by reaching behind their back. It's an A-Rank jutsu in the Comedy Combat style, and can take weeks, if not YEARS to master. Plus, the more complex the item is, the more energy and chakra you'll be using to get it. It can be very powerful in the right hands...and very deadly in the wrong hands."

"Now before I put this seal unto you, I have to warn you. There is no known way to get rid of the seal once it has been put on, so you might be stuck with it for a while. Odds are, you'll be stuck with it forever. Do you want to take that risk?"

Hinata nodded without hesitation. "Of course I want to."

Lee nodded as well. "What good is learning if there are not a few riskes involved?"

Ino was a bit more hesitant. "...Will I be abe to hide that seal once it's applied?"

"Not at first. But with a certian level of mastery, you'll be able to," Naruto replied.

"...Fine. I'll take that risk. Anything to put Bill-Board Brow in her place," Ino grumbled.

"Okay," Naruto nodded. Then he used the Kage Bunshin Jutsu to make two more copies of himself, which went into complex seals alongside him to prepare for the seal. It didn't take long for him to finish, and when he did, all of the Naruto's hands began to glow.

"Ready guys?" Naruto questioned them one last time.

They simply nodded, and closed their eyes.

"Here we go! _Gyagu Sori no Shi-ru!" _Naruto shouted, he and his clones pushing their hands on their friends' backs.

Ino, Lee and Hinata felt a warn feeling going through their bodies at the touch. Like...being wrapped up in a giant blanket.

In fact, the feeling became so overwhelming that they fell to the ground, fast asleep.

"Heh...I guess I forgot to mention to them that they would be out for quite a while after I put the seal on them..." Naruto chuckled as the other two clones poofed away.

"You forgot to mention it to them? Or just simply didn't want them know that?" Kakashi said from out of nowhere.

"Kakashi-sensei...I thought that you would be training Sasuke-teme by now," Naruto said in a solemn tone, turning towards the jounin.

"Let's just say that the Kage Bunshin can be useful for all sorts of things," Kakashi replied. He looked upon the three sleeping ninja. "...You do realize the danger that you could be putting them in, right?"

"I know that their familes will be on their cases for a while, but I'm sure it'll all work out," Naruto replied.

"...That's not what I mean, and you know it, Naruto," Kakashi said.

Naruto sighed, turning his gaze towards the ground. "I know, Kakashi-sensei. ...But who's to say that their Inner-Imps will be...like mine?"

"Even so, this is a big gamble that you are taking, Naruto. After all, wasn't the real reason you took on the Comedy Combat style so that you could..."

"I KNOW, Kakashi-sensei. I'm still working on it. ...But I give you my word, that I will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again," Naruto said, looking very much like an old man at the moment.

"...Very well," Kakashi nodded. "So...until your new students wake up, let me teach you a new technique that I've been working on..."

Naruto nodded, before turning his head towards the knocked out trio. _'Sorry I have to lie about the seal to you guys...but I can't take any chances. Hopefully, you'll prove yourselves to be trustworthy of this style...for your own sakes._

**COMEDY COMBAT**

And that's all for this chapter. What did Kakashi mean when he spoke to Sasuke? How did NARUTO, of all people, give that scar to Orochimaru? And what is the TRUE reason that Naruto learned Comedy Combat for? All this will be answered in the next chapter, 'Bitter Flashbacks.' Hope you look forward to it, because Naruto's Inner-Imp will FINALLY be revealed!

Until then, catch you next continue!

1. Thanks to Tactiction for the idea of the seal. It was called the Gab-a-gag seal, but I had to change the name to translate it to japanese.

UPDATE! I added one last line to the chapter, so people won't think that Naruto is TOO trusting.


	14. Preview Scene of Next Chapter

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Hey all! Sorry that I haven't gotten the next chapter out by now. I wanted to make it up to you with this preview of a scene from the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

The hot springs. A perfect place for people to relax. A perfect place for people to forget all of their troubles. A perfect place to just set your mind free, and bask in the warmth.

And a perfect place...for murder.

At least, if you were a girl by the name Tenten.

The weapons mistress (decked in all black so she could move through the darkness of the night, complete with black cloth covering her entire face except for her eyes) had followed Naruto to this spot, taking great care to not be detected.

The blond had went this way along with his sensei, Hatake Kakashi. Tenten knew of him because her own sensei wouldn't _shut **up **_about him. Seriously, Tenten thought that all of her teammates were freaks at times. And that Gai harbored a not-so-secret man-crush on the Copy-nin.

Well...Neji, besides herself, was the most normal person on the team. But he was also an emotion-free bastard, so she didn't really count him.

"Hmmm...If my tracking skills are correct, then Naruto must have went into the Hot Springs. ...Perfect," Tenten said with a catlike grin. "The steam will make it even harder for him to detect my presence. And by the time he does...it'll be too late."

She raised up a _giant _katana, and watched it gleam. How it did so with no sunlight out to speak of, was a mystery.

"Just you wait, Naruto. You will pay the ultimate price for unleashing that..._thing_ on the world...and through **Lee**, for good measure! He He He He He..."

As she rushed into the springs, she failed to notice that Kakashi himself was right behind her. The Copy Nin shook his head.

"That girl is so stressed...then again, _anyone _would be stressed if they had to be around Gai for more than 5 minutes. Hmmm...maybe she just needs to get laid."

* * *

Naruto himself was currently resting within the comfort of the Hot Spring, thinking back on eariler times.

_'That man...he called himself Luther. ...How could someone like _him_ be my inner-half?'_

He remembered the words that the smart, yet uncaring man, said after he had...deleted Haku.

_'That young boy was no match for me. He had reached his limit, and couldn't produce the results needed for him to win. Therefore, his role as a tool to Zabuza was obsolete...and nothing fills me with greater pleasure than the _deletion _of obsolete fools...'_

Naruto cluched his eyes tight. It was bad enough that Haku had to die by his hand thanks to his inner, but it was even worse that there was no body left afterwards. When Luther had...deleted Haku, the femmine boy's body had fallen apart...piece by piece...and then it vanished.

_'Ever since then, after learning of my real family thanks to Kakashi-sensei, I've been training in the art of Comedy Combat, in the hopes that I could one day control this inner half of me...no matter how evil someone is, they don''t deserve to die...like Haku died.'_

Unknown to him, Tenten was right above the wall that overlooked the spring. She was glaring down at Naruto from the top.

_'At last...time to meet the unpopular end of my sword, Naruto...' _Tenten growled inside of her mind.

But before she could strike, some unknown force gave her a hard shove from behind. With a little yelp, she landed face-first into the spring.

Of course, the sound startled Naruto, and he quickly stood up, just about the same time that Tenten brought her head back above water.

"Cough, Cough...what the hell shoved me?" Tenten coughed as she rubbed her eyes. Once she felt that she could see, the first thing she laid her eyes on was Naruto...without a towel on. And she was only on her knees, so try to guess what she saw first.

"..." Went Naruto.

"..." Went an extremely red Tenten.

"...Are you a pervert?" Naruto asked innocently.

"..." Tenten's face went even redder. But this time, it was with _anger_not embarrassment. "What I am does not matter," she said, making her voice sound more mature so that Naruto would not reconise her. She rose her Katana up high, said sword gleaming once again. "The only thing that matters is that you are about to die. So hold still, and let me slice up your sexy little body."

"...My WHAT body?" Naruto said, not sure he heard right.

"...Shut up and BLEED!" Tenten shouted, as she began to chase Naruto around the spring.

Kakashi was watching this with a smile on his face from on top of the wall.

_'Haha...if you survive this, then you can thank me later, Naruto.'_


	15. Bitter Flashbacks Part 1

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Okay, here's the FULL chapter. It involves one LONG flashback, but hopefully it'll answer some questions. Since I felt bad about not updating for a while, I've decided to split it into parts so that I could get this chapter out quicker. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"So...what are you going to teach me this time, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said, as the two went a few feet away from the snoozing trio of Comedy Combat hopefuls.

"Well, I noticed that during your fight against Kiba, you tended to use the slapstick components of your Comedy Combat style," Kakashi began.

"Well, of course. After all, it was the slapstick portion of the style that Kaa-san was best in. It only makes sense that I'd want to follow in her footsteps," Naruto said with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that you may need a bit more than that to defeat Sasuke. Sorry to say, but I doubt that most of your slapstick moves will work on someone as serious as him," Kakashi said. "In fact, your mother came up with a branching style in the Comedy Combat style to deal with people like Sasuke. It's called...the _Shiriasu sumasshu _(Serious Smasher). It was a technique that made your mother famous. Once it's mastered, you could make even the coldest of souls warm up to you. I should know, since Kushina-sama used that style on me and your father."

"Wait...Kaa-san used that on my Dad?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi nodded. "After the great Ninja War, Minato was rather cold to anyone except for his closest friends. In fact, he didn't even really like Kushina all that much when they first met, him thinking that she was too loud for a woman and all. But after Kushina used the Serious Smasher on him, he became much move soft and caring. Minato loved her for that, and that was how they came to be married. So think about how much of an effect it would have on Sasuke. Kami knows that he needs to lighten up..."

Naruto chuckled as he nodded in agreement. "That's for sure. So...are you gonna teach me the Serious Smasher style?"

"No." Kakashi stated simply, as Naruto did a face fault.

"...Then why did you even bring it up?" Naruto growled as he got back to his feet.

"Because I wanted to let you know the best way to defeat Sasuke. Plus, it's already in the scroll that your mother created. You just never saw it because you were putting all of your time into the slapstick portion of the style," Kakashi pointed out. "Anyway, the real technique that I wanted to teach you will fit great with the slapstick style. And let me just say...it will have _explosive _results. Ha Ha Ha Ha..."

"...That joke SUCKED, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said with a sweatdrop and half-lidded eyes.

"...Yes, anyway," Kakashi coughed, ignoring Naruto. "This is the move that I shall teach you. _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_"

Kakashi brought forth a clone of himself, and they both did a little pose together.

But Naruto was unimpressed. "Uh, Kakashi-sensei. In case you forgot, I can _already _do shadow clones."

"Trust me, Naruto, this is no ordinary Shadow Clone. Punch it, if you don't believe me," Kakashi said, jumping back a good few feet.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, but did as Kakashi asked. He winded up his fist, and punched the clone as hard in the face as he could.

But instead of hearing a grunt of pain, like he was expecting to, he heard the clone of Kakashi give of a little chuckle.

"What the-" Naruto began, before the clone began to glow. It didn't take too long after that for the clone to _explode _in Naruto's face, sending him flying back into a tree post behind him, knocking the wind out of him for a split second.

"That just goes to show you, Naruto. Never take things at face value...otherwise, you'll find yourself in a world of hurt," Kakashi chuckled as he strolled over towards the dazed blond.

"Cough...what the hell was...cough...THAT?!" Naruto shouted weakly, feeling the pain as he struggled to regain his footing.

"It's the new technique that I'll be teaching you. It's been called by the name, _Bunshin Daibakuha _(Clone Great Explosion). I wasn't using it at full power, but this move has the potential to injure, if not **kill **an opponent," Kakashi explained.

Naruto gave the copy-nin a little glare as he got back to his feet. "One, I told you when I first started learning the Comedy Combat style that I would not kill my foe unless it was a _final _resort. And two, you know that I can't heal myself with the Kyuubi's power right now. Ever since what happened at...Wave, I haven't been able to feel the Kyuubi's presence within me anymore," Naruto said, taking a vial out of his pocket and drinking it. In almost no time at all, his injures had healed.

"So it's a good thing that you gained knowledge of how to make potions like that, thanks to your Inner-Imp," Kakashi pointed out.

Naruto frowned. "Yeah, well if I had a choice, I'd make sure that he could NEVER come out again! Not after what he did to Haku..."

* * *

_Really Long Flashback heading your way!_

_Both Naruto and Sasuke were still trapped within the Ice Mirrors that Haku had conjured up. They were breathing heavily, and were on the urge of losing consciousness._

_Haku looked upon them with a slight sign of pity. Not that the boys could tell with that mask in the way._

_Somewhere along the way, the danger that the Uchiha was in forced him to finally obtain his bloodline, the Sharingan. He still had trouble following Haku's moves, but the longer the battle went on, the more that Sasuke could track Haku as he zipped through his mirrors._

_Of course, Haku came to realize that. So, in order to catch Sasuke of guard, he decided to do a rather...underhanded maneuver._

_He went after Naruto instead._

_Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw Haku speed towards Naruto, so fast that he almost looked like a blur._

_'Shit! Naruto!' Sasuke thought in his mind, as he moved to intercept Haku._

_Naruto could only watch on in horror as Haku closed in on him. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the pain that he was sure to feel..._

_But when he felt a tiny splash of warm liquid on his face, he quickly opened his eyes. Only to see Sasuke in front of him, and Haku thrown to the side, struggling to get back to his feet._

_"All...all right, Sasuke! You did it! You really...did...it..." Naruto cheered at first, only to see the damage that Haku managed to inflict before he was tossed aside._

_The Uchiha's neck was filled with various senbon, making it look like a collar of sorts. And a slight line of blood was trailing out of Sasuke mouth...not to mention that his eyes looked lifeless._

_Naruto quickly realized that the warm drop he felt wasn't water...it was Sasuke's _blood.

_Sasuke slowly turned towards the stunned Naruto, a rather pained little smirk on his face._

_"Heh...you always...manage...to get in the way...Naruto...no matter what...heh, heh...you should see the look on your face...right now...you look like...like the dobe I've always known you as..." Sasuke said in a weak voice._

_Naruto ignored his words as he stared at Sasuke with wide eyes. "Why...why did you...save me? ...Why...did you block his attack...?" The blond stuttered._

_"...I don't know why...you idiot...my body just moved on its own..." Sasuke said with a little growl. "..._You..._I...I _hated_ you, you know..."_

_"Then why the hell did you protect me?!" Naruto screamed, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. "If you hate me so much, then why even bother?!"_

_Sasuke didn't say anything. He just gave a little grunt as the pain went through him._

_Naruto clutched his fist in anger at Sasuke's lack of response._

_"I didn't ask for this! You should have just stayed out of the way!!"_

_"...Yeah, like I could have done that...you...dobe!" Sasuke called out as he began to fall to the ground._

_Naruto noticed this, and quickly caught him before he hit the ground, casuing the both of them to go into a kneeling position._

_"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted._

_"...He's...he's still out...there..." Sasuke began._

_"Huh?" Naruto said, not having a clue._

_"...My brother...Uchiha...Itachi...I promised myself...that I would not die...until I...killed him..." Sasuke rasped out. "But now...it's...the...end..."_

_"Don't talk like that, Sasuke! I don't want to hear any of this 'The End' _crap _from you!" Naruto growled in sadness._

_"Naruto...don't let your dream die...no matter what people say...you _will _become Hokage...you...willl..." _

_And with those last words, Sasuke was dead._

_Naruto couldn't believe it. His biggest rival...his biggest enemy...his best friend...was dead. He tried to see if the Uchiha had a heartbeat...but no such luck. Naruto's mind began to become clouded with the fact that Sasuke would never be alive again...that he was gone...forever._

_Haku quietly got back to his feet as this happened. He felt a twinge of pain in his own heart as he saw the expression on Naruto's face. But he quickly stomped it down. He had a duty to fulfill to Zabuza-sama. One down...and one to go._

_"...Is this the first time you have seen a friend die in battle before your very eyes...?" Haku questioned Naruto as he slipped back into the Ice Mirror close to him. "This is such the life of a shinobi."_

_Naruto didn't respond. He mearly got to his feet slowly...until he stood over the Uchiha's body, staring down at him with the hair overshowing his eyes._

_Haku raised an eyebrow at Naruto's lack of response. He soon thought of it as shock. Shock so strong that Naruto couldn't speak. So, with a heavy heart, he was about to finish Naruto off, and fulfill his master's wishes._

_...But what came out of Naruto next shocked the young boy._

_He didn't scream out in rage, nor did he cry out in sadness._

_He simply...chuckled._

_It wasn't an insane chuckle...like one would get when they tried to deny something to the point of madness._

_It wasn't a sad chuckle...like one would get when they accepted something bad had happened._

_No..._this _chuckle was one of genuine amusement. As if he didn't care what had happened just now._

_But when Naruto uttered his next words, Haku felt a strong sense of _fear_ from simply being near the boy...and he somehow knew that his life was about to come to an end._

_"Heh...Good Riddance."_

* * *

_"Uhhhh...what hit me...?" Naruto groaned to himself, rubbing his head._

_He tried looking around, but could see nothing but darkness all surround him all over._

_"Where the hell am I...?"_

_**"So, Naruto Uzumaki. We meet at last..."** A Deep, feral voice came out from the darkness._

_Naruto whirled around, trying to locate where the voice had come from._

_"Who are you...show yourself!" Naruto demanded._

_**"...As you wish..."** The feral voice said._

_Soon after, the darkness spread just enough for Naruto to see where the voice was coming from._

_For in only a few seconds, the blond was before the one and only Kyuubi itself._

_But that's not what surprised him._

_What _did _surprise him, was that the Kyuubi seemed to be locked up with some sort of laser-like device that spread all over its massive body. The beast couldn't move much at all, and had a look of weakness in its eyes._

_**"So...you're here. ...I guess that means that the BASTARD that locked me up like this is taking control of your body..."**Kyuubi said in a weak tone._

_"What do you mean, 'taking control of my body'...?" Naruto asked. "And how the _hell _did you manage to get locked up like that? You're the FREAKING Kyuubi, for Kami's sake!"_

_Kyuubi glared at Naruto. **"That bastard human...if he can even be CALLED human...used technology that I've never incountered before. I had no idea how to combat him, so he was able to overpower me easily, as loathe as I am to admit it... But that's not the important thing right now. Look through this portal, and you can see what he is doing through your body's point of view."**_

_It didn't take too long afterwards for a portal to appear infront of Naruto. And the first thing he saw was Haku's shocked face...plus, he could hear Haku, and the person who had taken control of his body begin to speak._

* * *

_Haku couldn't believe the words that had come out of the boy's mouth._

_'Good...Riddance...?' What kind of human being would say that when his supposed comrade had fallen right before his very eyes?_

_Somehow, Haku could feel that this wasn't the same boy from before that he had met in the forest._

_Naruto (or rather, the man controlling him) let out a little snort as he stared at the Uchiha's body._

_"Well...it's about time the corrupt fool met his end. He was _far_ too dangerous to be left alive, based on my observations of him. ...I only regret that _I_ wasn't the one to dispose of him..." The man said in a somewhat regal tone, a tone that someone who thought very highly of himself would use._

_Suddenly, he whirled towards Haku, who couldn't help but flinch at surprise (and a bit of fear) when he saw the cold look in Naruto's blue eyes._

_"...Or at least...that's what I _would _say...if the Uchiha were really dead."_

_Naruto heard what the man had said instantly._

_"What...Sasuke-teme's still alive?" Naruto said, unable to believe it._

_**"Yes, your little friend is still alive and well. I should know, being a form of death itself," **Kyuubi said._

_Naruto felt extreme happiness at the knowledge that his friend/rival would still be alive._

_"But...why did Haku leave him alive? Wasn't he supposed to kill us on Zabuza-teme's orders?" Naruto asked._

_**"Keep watching, and you'll find out," **Kyuubi replied._

* * *

_"I have no idea what you are implying. I killed that boy on the orders of Zabuza-sama. You felt it yourself...there was no heartbeat when you put your head next to his chest, was there?" Haku denied._

_The man in Naruto's body simply gained a smirk on his face that put Sasuke's to shame. "Oh please. Do not believe me to be as dense as my inferior outer-half. After all, from what I know of you, you'd never be able to take a life willingly."_

_Haku felt himself begin to get a little angry. "And what could YOU possibly know of me?"_

_"Enough, I assure you. For example, you used to have a loving family, and you lived within The land of Water," The Man began, much to Haku's wide-eyed shock. "Everything was going great for you...until your foolish father got wind that your mother, and yourself, possessed a Kekki Genkai (Bloodline Limit). At that time, those who were found to possess such a thing were to be killed on the spot...and your father, loving man that he is, killed your mother in accordance to that law, simply because he wanted to preserve his own pathetic life. He would have killed you as well, but it was at that time that you inadvertently awakened your own bloodline...and did the unthinkable, killing your own father with your own two hands."_

_The man smirked at Haku. He couldn't see the boy's face, but he could _feel _the boy's surprise. "Well? Am I warm?"_

_Haku quickly snapped out of it, however, and leveled a glare at the man using Naruto's body. "...You are not the same boy that I met in the forest that day. Who are you?"_

_"Humph. So glad you noticed. Anyway, you may call me...Luther. A genius of unparalleled wisdom...and starting now..."_

_The man now identified as Luther reached behind his back, and pulled out a strange, yet powerful looking, rod from out of the seal on his back._

_"...Your executioner."_

* * *

_Naruto was watching all of this with confusion. "What the...how the someone like HIM get into me? And what does he mean, Outer Half? What the HELL is going on?!"_

_**"Like I said, shut up and watch, Uzumaki. You might learn something," **Kyuubi said._

_"But why should I?! Haku didn't kill Sasuke! That means that I don't need to kill him! I'll bet that if I just talk to him then-"_

_He was cut off by the Kyuubi, as the giant beast roared with laughter._

_"What's so funny?" Naruto growled as the Kyuubi stopped laughing._

_**"Are you really that foolish, boy? Do you really think that the oncoming bloodshed could be stopped simply by TALKING IT OUT?!" **Kyuubi roared, scaring Naruto for a second. **"You know NOTHING of the real world. Nothing can be avoided simply by talking it out. Besides, even if you could talk Haku into quiting this whole farce, you won't get the chance..."**_

_"What are you talking about?" Naruto demanded._

_**"Didn't you just hear Luther right now? He's planning to KILL the boy. And if he could do something like THIS,"**and Kyuubi guestered to itself, **"To someone like me, then Haku doesn't stand a chance."**_

_"Then I'll simply get control of my body back!" Naruto replied, defiant._

_Kyuubi raised an eyebrow. **"Easier said than done, you fool..."**_

_End very long flashback!_

* * *

What had happened afterwards was something that Naruto would have rather not remembered. He had tried so hard to break free of the prision that Luther had created for him within his own mind, but nothing he did could set him free.

Sadly, the only reason he was able to gain control back was because Luther _let _him gain control. And by the time he did...Haku was gone...forever.

He still couldn't believe how the boy had died. Luther fired a beam from his rod, which hit Haku dead on the heart. And as the boy's mask fell off, and his shocked eyes were seen by Naruto through the portal...his body began to fall apart, piece by piece. But there was no blood. As soon as a piece fell of his body fell off, it simply vanished. This went on until Haku's head was gone.

He also remembered Zabuza's rage when he found out what had happened. ...And how he had met the same fate as Haku.

The last thing that Naruto rembered was that Luther called the move he used to...delete Haku and Zabuza, _Sakujo _(Deletion).

He also knew that it was one move that he NEVER wanted to see in action ever again.

"Naruto...? NARUTO!"

Naruto jumped up a bit as he heard Kakashi's voice shout from behind himself. He turned to see the concerned look on his sensei's face.

"Are you alright, Naruto?" Kakashi said.

"I'm...I'm fine, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied. "...Were you saying something?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but gave Naruto a book. Naruto looked confused, but took said book, and read the title of it.

"Kage Bunshin Tactics?" Naruto said, confused. "What is this, Kakashi-sensei?"

"It's a book that I created, telling everything about the Kage Bunshin that I know of, as well as the best ways to use them. I want you to study from this book for the next month. The way you use the Kage Bunshin right now is just sad. If you use them in the right way, then you can take on a whole bunch of high level ninja by yourself if needed," Kakashi explained.

"Oh...thanks, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said with a small smile, his _true_ smile. "I'll take good care of this book."

Kakashi nodded, then called out two more Kage Bunshin. He told them to carry Naruto's students back to their homes. "And I'll take good care of them."

"Uh...what are you doing, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"I know you, Naruto. At least to some extent. And I can tell that you have a lot on your mind," Kakashi said. He smiled under his mask for a bit. "So, I'm taking you to the Hot Springs close to here, to help you get that load on your mind off. And I'll pay for it."

Naruto's eyes widened, then he cheered loudly. "REALLY?! You're the BEST, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi chuckled softly. "Yes, I know. Now let's get going," Kakashi said, walking off towards the Hot Springs, an excited Naruto following him. The clones of Kakashi picked up Ino, Hinata and Lee, and carried them off.

Unknown to either of them, a young woman in black clothes, with a mask covering her face, watched them go off.

"At last...time for me to get my revenge..." She cackled, trailing after them.

* * *

The hot springs. A perfect place for people to relax. A perfect place for people to forget all of their troubles. A perfect place to just set your mind free, and bask in the warmth.

And a perfect place...for murder.

At least, if you were a girl by the name Tenten.

The weapons mistress (decked in all black so she could move through the darkness of the night, complete with black cloth covering her entire face except for her eyes) had followed Naruto to this spot, taking great care to not be detected.

The blond had went this way along with his sensei, Hatake Kakashi. Tenten knew of him because her own sensei wouldn't _shut **up **_about him. Seriously, Tenten thought that all of her teammates were freaks at times. And that Gai harbored a not-so-secret man-crush on the Copy-nin.

Well...Neji, besides herself, was the most normal person on the team. But he was also an emotion-free bastard, so she didn't really count him.

"Hmmm...If my tracking skills are correct, then Naruto must have went into the Hot Springs. ...Perfect," Tenten said with a catlike grin. "The steam will make it even harder for him to detect my presence. And by the time he does...it'll be too late."

She raised up a _giant _katana, and watched it gleam. How it did so with no sunlight out to speak of, was a mystery.

"Just you wait, Naruto. You will pay the ultimate price for unleashing that..._thing_ on the world...and through **Lee**, for good measure! He He He He He..."

As she rushed into the springs, she failed to notice that Kakashi himself was right behind her. The Copy Nin shook his head.

"That girl is so stressed...then again, _anyone _would be stressed if they had to be around Gai for more than 5 minutes. Hmmm...maybe she just needs to get laid."

* * *

Naruto himself was currently resting within the comfort of the Hot Spring, thinking back on eariler times.

_'That man...he called himself Luther. ...How could someone like _him_ be my inner-half?'_

He remembered the words that the smart, yet uncaring man, said after he had...deleted Haku.

_'That young boy was no match for me. He had reached his limit, and couldn't produce the results needed for him to win. Therefore, his role as a tool to Zabuza was obsolete...and nothing fills me with greater pleasure than the _deletion _of obsolete fools...'_

Naruto cluched his eyes tight. It was bad enough that Haku had to die by his hand thanks to his inner, but it was even worse that there was no body left afterwards. When Luther had...deleted Haku, the femmine boy's body had fallen apart...piece by piece...and then it vanished.

_'Ever since then, after learning of my real family thanks to Kakashi-sensei, I've been training in the art of Comedy Combat, in the hopes that I could one day control this inner half of me...no matter how evil someone is, they don''t deserve to die...like Haku died.'_

Unknown to him, Tenten was right above the wall that overlooked the spring. She was glaring down at Naruto from the top.

_'At last...time to meet the unpopular end of my sword, Naruto...' _Tenten growled inside of her mind.

But before she could strike, some unknown force gave her a hard shove from behind. With a little yelp, she landed face-first into the spring.

Of course, the sound startled Naruto, and he quickly stood up, just about the same time that Tenten brought her head back above water.

"Cough, Cough...what the hell shoved me?" Tenten coughed as she rubbed her eyes. Once she felt that she could see, the first thing she laid her eyes on was Naruto...without a towel on. And she was only on her knees, so try to guess what she saw first.

"..." Went Naruto.

"..." Went an extremely red Tenten.

"...Are you a pervert?" Naruto asked innocently.

"..." Tenten's face went even redder. But this time, it was with _anger_not embarrassment. "What I am does not matter," she said, making her voice sound more mature so that Naruto would not recognise her. She rose her Katana up high, said sword gleaming once again. "The only thing that matters is that you are about to die. So hold still, and let me slice up your sexy little body."

"...My WHAT body?" Naruto said, not sure he heard right.

"...Shut up and BLEED!" Tenten shouted, as she began to chase Naruto around the spring.

Kakashi was watching this with a smile on his face from on top of the wall.

_'Haha...if you survive this, then you can thank me later, Naruto.'_

"WOAH! Wait! Stop! What did I do to you?!" Naruto screamed as he barely avoided the swipes of the rather LONG katana.

"Shut up! It doesn't matter if I told you, anyway! You'll be a corpse soon enough!" Tenten screamed back, swinging like a madwoman.

Soon, Naruto grabbed a towel as he ran past the exit, and wrapped it around his lower-half as he continued to flee from the wildly laughing Tenten. They went out of the hot-spring all together, and started running in a random direction.

_'Oh, this can't POSSIBLY end well,' _Kakashi laughed in his mind, as he followed the two.

* * *

Jiraiya could be called many things.

Pervert. Lecher. Dirty Old Man. Ero-Sennin (though no one had EVER called him that before, and he doubted that anyone would). He was even called Kami (God) by some of his...closest female friends.

But if there was one thing that Jiraiya could be called right now, it was this.

Horny.

Simply because he had a _great_view of the lovely young laides within the hotsprings.

Granted, he _created _the view with a little ninjutsu...but a great view was a great view.

"Oh yeah...shake that ass, girl, shake it! The eyes are loving you..." Jiraiya said in a horse voice, his 'Dirty Old Man' mode at full power.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY!"

"WHAT DID I DO?!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, SHUT UP AND **BLEED!**"

"...Huh?" Jiraiya said, turning towards the sound that was coming from behind him.

...Only to be rammed into by a young half naked boy, and a girl in all black.

In fact, the tackle was so strong, that the three crashed into the wall, breaking it in two, and ended up in the Woman's Hot Spring.

"Ugh...I should have watched where I was going..." Tenten said, rubbing her head. She saw that both Naruto, and the man that they had run into were both knocked out, swirls in their eyes. But before she could take advantage of it, she felt a surge of Killer Intent come from in front of her.

She slowly looked up...and saw that the naked females were glaring at them...and that some of them were holding weapons.

"...Well, fuck." The Weapons Mistress swore, before the ass-kicking began.

Kakashi was safely watching this from on top of a part of the wall that hadn't been destroyed. And he was enjoying a nice bowl of Ramen to boot.

_'Ha Ha...I knew that Naruto learning the Comedy Combat would make for some funny times...and of all people to run into! I wonder what will happen next...'_

* * *

And that's it for the first part, as well as my longest chapter to date. And before I end this, here is the first ever Omake for this story, from Clockworkchaos!

**Omake!**

Itachi grabbed Sasuke's arm, deflecting the chidori.

"Foolish little brother, your lack hatred, did you honestly think an attack so lacking in hatred could kill me?"

Sasuke smirked "Not really," and plunged a syringe into Itachi's exposed arm.

Itachi stepped back, "What have you done?"

"I hope you appreciate it, took me forever to steal a sample of Naruto's inner imp potion."

For once Itachi actually looked confused "That mixture isn't even poisonous … why?"

Sasuke sighed, "that's why, because you don't understand. I was actually becoming like you. So wrapped up in my quest to kill you and hatred that I nearly destroyed everyone that cared about me to achieve it. Naruto's releasing my inner imp saved me. He was able to show me true friends, and my quest for the selfdestructive impulse it really was. You put me down that path, but you were the same as me, weren't you? You never really had a choice did you?"

Sasuke continued as Itachi began convulsing on the ground. "Father pulled strings to put you in and out of the academy early. You never had a chance to see the world as anything but a ninja. You never got to see how funny the world can be. You failed brother, I no longer hate you, I pity you. I'm going to give you the chance you never had," Sasuke smiled.

Itachi rose, cackling insanely. "This is sickening... You sound like chapters from a selfhelp booklet! Prepare yourself!"

* * *

I hope you enjoyed that! Catch you next continue! 


	16. Preview Scene of Chapter 16

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Hey, all! Once again, it's another Preview chapter! I do this so I can keep up my fast updates, and so that you spoiler lovers can get your fill. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

"What the...what the hell has Luther been doing while I was away?!"

Naruto once again found himself trapped within his own mind. But he noticed that many changes had happened since the last time he was there.

The whole place looked like the inside of a huge clock, with golden gears, and unknown technology everywhere. It looked like something that would come from the future! (A.N: For those of you who played Star Ocean: Til The End of Time, the room looks like the Eternal Sphere)

"...I guess that Luther did some renovations in my absence," Naruto said to himself. "Speaking of which...where is that heartless bastard? He was the one who called me here in the first place!"

"No need to be so impatient, boy. I'm right here," A voice said from behind the startled Naruto.

The blond whirled around...only to come face to face with himself. He was staring at a darker version of himself, with blond hair a lighter shade than his own, and blue eyes that held nothing but arrogant malice.

"So...we meet face to face at last, my inferior Outer-Half," Luther said in a deep tone, with a smirk that looked completely out of place on Naruto's face.

"You're Luther?" Naruto said, confused. "Why the _hell_ do you look like me?!"

Luther frowned. "Trust me, I'm not loving this set-up anymore than you are. Sadly, my real body was lost sometime ago. So I've had to make do with this one...for now. But enough of that. You're probably wondering why I've called you here, correct?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "DUH. After all, it's not often that you get called inside your own mind by a murderer like you!"

Luther sighed. "So just because I killed that boy in self-defense, that makes me a murderer?"

"He stood no chance! You were clearly TOYING with him the entire time! Would it have been so hard to just have let Haku LIVE?!" Naruto snarled, glaring death at his darker Inner-Half.

Luther returned the glare in kind. But he simply turned so that his back was to Naruto, and spoke again. "Whatever. The reason I've called you here is to test out my newest technique-"

"What, so you can kill me and take over my body permanently?!" Naruto growled, getting into a fighting stance. "You won't delete me without a fight!"

Luther sighed in frustration. "No, you inferior nitwit. I've called you here to test my newest technique to see if it's combat ready! Because, of course..."

And he turned back towards Naruto, a wicked smirk on his face. "There will be a time where I _will_ get the chance to take over your body again..."

Naruto didn't say anything. He just continued to glare at the Genius.

"Anyway, let's see how you like this..."

Luther walked to the middle of the room, in front of a massive digital computer. He entered a few commands, and turned to Naruto, his finger hovering above the last button.

"Naruto...I hope you're ready to take a trip down Memory Lane..." Luther chuckled smugly.

But before Naruto could ask him what he meant, Luther pressed the final button, making a huge piller of Light surround him, and nearly blinding the blond.

By the time the flash was gone, Naruto felt it was safe to open his eyes. But the first thing he saw filled him with shock.

For Haku and Zabuza were standing right in front of him, alive and well!"

"Zabuza-teme? Haku?!" Naruto shouted, unable to believe his eyes. "How did YOU two get here?!"

"It's no use talking to them, Inferior Outer-Half. They haven't been brought back to life. I simply created replicas based on the data that I gained after disposing of their original bodies. You don't really think I'd have let such strong warriors go to waste, did you?" Luther laughed.

Naruto felt a little sadness at the fact that the Haku before him wasn't the real one. He should have been able to tell with how lifeless his eyes looked.

"So...what's this all about? Did you just bring me here to mock me with the image of what could have been my friend...?" Naruto said in a low tone.

Luther simply smirked again. "No. I called you here so that you could fight against them. I need to make sure that they are combat ready, and twice as good as the originals."

His smirk grew wider. "And if you somehow manage to last 5 minutes against them, then I shall teach you a new technique. One called... _Dijitaru Shinsei _(Digital Rebirth)."

"Digital Rebirth?" Naruto said with a red question mark above his head. "What's that?"

"You'll find out if you can survive," Luther laughed. "Now then...let the experiment...BEGIN!"

* * *

Hope you liked that little preview. And you can review if you want to, since I won't replace the chapter. Oh, and if you have any good Omake ideas like Clockworkchaos did, you can put them in your review, and I might put them into the story. Until next time, Catch you next continue!


	17. Omake Theater the first!

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

"Hello, everybody!" Naruto shouted, a mic in his hand. "Welcome to the first ever episode of..."

**"OMAKE THEATER!" **The studio audience cheered.

"That's right! From now on, whenever Author-sama needs some time to think out the next chapter, or when said chapter will be real serious, he'll type up an episode of this show to tide you over until the next chapter! I'm your host, Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto said with a cheesy grin on his face as the fans cheered. "And alongside me is my...co-host. Unfortunately. Give a big round of BOOS to my Inner-Imp, the final boss from Star Ocean: Til The End of Time, Luther!"

The audience booed loudly for Luther, who simply smirked. "Feh. You're all just jealous that you can create and toy with people lives like I did in my game."

"Yeah, and look where that got you..." Naruto muttered. Luther didn't hear him, thankfully. "Anyway, now that intros are out of the way, let's get this show started with our first ever Omake Topic!

**Rejected Combat Styles in Comedy Combat!**

"You read right, inferior people. We shall be doing a short series of Omakes based on Comedy Combat styles that just didn't make the cut for this story. Sadly, we only have time for one right now. They were either too funny, too lame, too overpowering...or just boring. Or Inferior. Like you," Luther said, pointing at Naruto.

The blond ignored him, but a throbbing vain appeared over his twitching right eye. "ANYWAY, here is the first one, featuring everyone's favorite Girly-man, Hyuuga Neji!"

* * *

**Omake Number 1: **Live, in front of a Studio Audience

Neji growled as he held his wounded abdomen. This six-armed freak, Kidomaru, was tougher than he thought. At this rate...he'd have to resort to..._that_.

Of course, that was the LAST thing that the proud Hyuuga wanted to do. He'd rather die with honor, than act like a fool to survive. But time was running out, and he made a promise to Hinata-sama that Naruto would come back home safe and sound.

"Well, this game was over far too quickly for my tastes," Kidomaru sneered with a smug look on his tan face. "But now...I guess that it's game over. For _you._"

Neji gave a little smug look of his own. "Oh, I don't think so, Mr. Spider-Man Reject. In fact...it's time that you play a little game of my own..."

Neji quickly went into a series of hand signs, before calling out, "Genjutsu Style! _Ge-mu_ _Kyoshoku (_Game Show!)

Before Kidomaru knew what was happening, he found himself in eternal darkness from head to toe...only to appear inside what seemed to be a game show in progress...?

"...What the hell?" Kidomaru said, looking at the cheering audience, the contestants (Who looked just like Neji), and Neji himself, who was dressed in a bright yellow suit, with a cheesy smile on his face. The Music, Centar (from DDR Supernova 1), was playing in the background.

"Hello, audience! And welcome to another exciting episode of..."

**"GUESS...YOUR...FATE!"**The fans cheered wildly, making Kidomaru cover his ears for a few seconds.

"That's right! The exciting Game show were you have a chance to decide your fate, before destiny does! I'm your host, Hyuuga Neji!" Neji said, grinning up a storm. "And today's contestants are here to make sure that they are in control of their own fate! Please welcome...Hyuuga Neji #2!"

The second Neji nodded. "It's great to be here, Neji."

"Hyuuga Neji #3!"

"I'm ready to leave a winner, Neji!"

"And finally, Kidomaru!"

"...Huh?" Kidomaru said dumbly.

"Now then, before the last commercial we had, Neji #2 had just pulled into the lead with 1,000,000 dollars, beating Neji # 3's 900,000 dollars. And Kidomaru is still in last place with -500,000 dollars!" Neji said, his grin growing even wider.

"WHAT?!" Kidomaru shouted, looking down the booth he was at. Indeed, he was at a negitave amount of dollars. "That's not fair!"

"Sorry, pal, but your in MY world, now! The best that you can do is DEAL with it!" Neji replied, that fake smile still plastered onto his face.

"But you forget, it's a Genjutsu world! Which means that all I have to do is dispel it!" Kidomaru snarled, putting his hands into the position. "KAI!"

But nothing happened.

"Oh, too bad, buddy. But like I said, it's MY world. You'll need more than a simple dispel move to escape here," Neji informed Kidomaru. "Sadly, you tried to escape here before the game was over. Which means that you LOSE! Time for the Penalty Game!"

Before Kidomaru could do anything else, the other two Neji's grabbed him by his six arms, along with some members of the audience.

"Get your hands off me!" Kidomaru roared as they strapped him to a giant wheel in the middle of the studio.

"Sorry, but you broke the rules. And rule-breakers must be punished!" Neji chuckled. "Spin the wheel, boys!"

The others nodded, and with a great big pull, the wheel began to spin at high speeds.

"GET...ME...DOWN...FROM...HERE!" Kidomaru screamed as he began to feel dizzy from the speed at which the wheel was spinning.

"Oh, don't worry...you'll come down. ...But I can't say for sure if you'll be alive when you do..." Neji said, dropping the smile, and getting into his stance for his strongest attack. "Because you are within my Hakke..._Hakke Rokujuu Yonshu _(Divination Field, 64 Palms)!"

As Kidomaru spun past him, Neji struck two of his chakra points.

"Two Palms!"

He spun past again...

"Four Palms!"

Again...

"Eight Palms!"

It just went on and on. And since Kidomaru was strapped to a wheel that drained chakra from you the longer you were on it, he couldn't use his spider web to block the attacks.

"Sixteen Palms! Thirty-Two Palms! Sixty-Four Palms!" Neji shouted, sending the final blow to Kidomaru's heart, killing him in an instant.

Neji took a deep breath, and turned back towards the fans, the cheesy smile back on his face. "And that's all for tonight! Please join us next week for another episode of..."

**"GUESS...YOUR...FATE!" **The fans cheered as the genjutsu ended.

Neji looked upon the dead body of Kidomaru, and only had one thought in his mind.

_'...Never again!'_

* * *

"And that's the Omake! I think that it was a bit too overpowered, but if you liked it, then please say so in your reviews and PMs. Who knows, we might make it real if enough people like it!"

"And with that being said from my weaker-half, we'll see you next time, here on..." Luther began.

"**OMAKE THEATER!" **The Fans cheered once again.

* * *

Catch you next continue!


	18. Bitter Flashbacks Part 2

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Now it's time for the next chapter of Clowning Around, and the third to last chapter before the Chuunin Exams finally begin! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Naruto. Naruto. Naaaarrruuutttooo..." Kakashi said in a little sing-song voice, trying to stir the sleeping ninja.

"...Ugh...Ahnm..." Naruto grunted, slowly opening his eyes. When he got his vision fully back, the first thing that he saw was Kakashi, his face hovering above his own.

When the Copy-nin saw that Naruto was awake, he closed his eye into an upside-down 'u', which meant that he was smiling. "Hi there. Glad to see that you're back in the world of the living," Kakashi chuckled.

"What...what happened...?" Naruto moaned as he rubbed his head, which had a big bump for some reason.

"Well...you were running from that crazy woman in all black, when you ran into Jiraiya-sama, of all people. In fact, you and the girl ran into him SO hard, that you ended up crashing through the wall that separated the _Woman's _Hot Spring. ...And even though you were unconscious at the time, the second they saw you...let's just say that it got ugly," Kakashi said, thankful that Naruto couldn't see the little smirk on his face.

"...Come to think of it...I think I did catch a glimpse of...you know..." Naruto said with a bit of a blush. "But how did we get out of there alive? And where are the crazy girl and this 'Jiraiya-sama' now?"

"Jiraiya-sama and the girl are resting in a separate room, and we are at my apartment," Kakashi said. "And as for how you got away...well..."

* * *

**Flashback no Jutsu! Kakashi style!**

_Maa...I feel sorry for Naruto...how can someone get so lucky, and yet so unlucky at the same time? ...Oh well, at least I have some entertainment._

_Oh, right in the balls! Thank Kami that Jiraiya-sama was already knocked out...but I'll bet he'll feel that in the morning._

_And a nice right hook delivered to Tenten from a angry naked female! With large hooters. Perfect._

_Ouch...Naruto will be feeling that bump when he wakes up...but then again, that's what a large baseball bat will do to you._

_Okay, time for me to step in. They're reaching for the Katana. Last thing we need is some amateur neutering._

_"Excuse me, laidies, but I believe that's my student you are mauling there."_

_"Look girls! It's another pervert!"_

_"I'll bet he was getting his jollies, watching us from up on that wall!"_

_"Death to all the perverts!"_

_"Death to the perverts! Death to the perverts! Death to the perverts!!"_

_"...Sigh..."_

_Tug._

_"...Oh my sweet kami..."_

_"So...so beautiful..."_

_"It...it is surely the face of Kami himself!"_

_"Have my babies, you magnifacent BASTARD, you!"_

_"Have our baibes! Have our baibes! Have our baibes!!"_

**End of Flashback-no-jutsu, Kakashi Style!**

* * *

"...Are you kidding me?" Naruto said, staring Kakashi straight in the eyes.

"Now, I know that it sounds far-fetched, Naruto, but that is what happened," Kakashi said. "What...you don't believe me?"

"It's not that," Naruto said quickly. "It's just that...you showed your face. And I MISSED IT! Kuso! If I wasn't knocked out because of that crazy girl, then I would have seen it! Think of the bragging rights I would have had over Sasuke-teme!"

Kakashi sweat dropped as Naruto kept on rambling about how he should have seen Kakashi's face, and cursing all of the crazy women in the world.

But abruptly, Naruto thought of something. "Wait a second, Kakashi-sensei! If those girls were so 'entranced' (whatever the hell that word means) by your face, then how did you manage to get away with all three of us in tow?"

Kakashi looked sheepish. "Who said I got away?"

* * *

**Flashback-no-Jutsu! Naughty Kakashi Style!**

_"Oh, kami, YES! Oh, that feels so good!"_

_"Yes, YES! Use your tongue...like...THAT!"_

_"Kami...it's so big...and so tasty...mmmmm..."_

_"And there's...ahhhhh...so many...of...mmmmm...him...we should have...done it with...YES...a ninja...a LONG time ago...!"_

_'Sigh...the things I'll do...to protect my students...'_

**End of Flashback-no-Jutsu! Naughty Kakashi Style!**

* * *

"...Too much information. You perverted prick," Naruto sighed.

"This coming from the guy who 'did it' with the heiress of the Hyuuga Clan," Kakashi retorted.

"...Good point," Naruto relented. "Anyway, do you think that the two other people are awake yet?"

"Only one way to find out," Kakashi said, getting to his feet from the bed. "But you might want to stay close to me. You know, in case that girl tries anything again."

"Right," Naruto nodded, getting to his feet and following Kakashi out of the room.

* * *

"Ugh...what hit me...?" Jiraiya groaned, slowly opening his eyes.

Once he got them fully open, he took in his surroundings. He seemed to be in a small apartment. He was currently in bed. And his crotch was throbbing like mad...!

"Kuso...! What the hell happened?!" Jiraiya hissed as he reached down to rub his abused spot...only to notice that his pants were missing (the women at the hot springs had relieved him of them _before_ the shot to the balls).

"...Did I get hammered last night, or something?" The Toad-Sage asked himself as he continued to look around the room...until his eyes laid on the young girl sleeping next to him.

Eyes-wide, Jiraiyanoticed that the slight shift of cover revealed that the girl was NOT wearing a top to speak of (the girls had ripped it up while they were beating her up), her petite, yet soft looking breasts on display. Plus, she had a tiny blush on her heart-shaped face, and was sweating a bit (the women had also held her underwater for long periods of time...cruel, weren't they?). But the thing that freaked the Sannin out the most...

Was that the girl looked so young. She couldn't have been older than 13 or 14...

Wait.

Waking up in a weird house...

With a sore crotch...

Naked from the waist down...

Next to a girl who was naked from the waist up...

And who just so happened to have a red tinged face...

And was sweating...

And had a HUGE grin on her face...(she was dreaming of killing Naruto)

Kami.

* * *

"So, who's this, 'Jiraiya-sama' person, anyway?" Naruto asked Kakashi as they made their way to the room.

"I'm surprised you've never heard of him, Naruto. After all, he was trained by one of your idols, Sarutobi-sama himself," Kakashi informed the blond.

"Really?! Then he must be really strong!" Naruto said with excitement.

"...Well, that's one way to put it," Kakashi chuckled. "And another way to put it is-"

**_"EEEEYYYYAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"_**

Naruto jumped up about 5 feet when he heard that huge bellow come out of nowhere.

"What the...What the HELL was THAT?!" Naruto shouted, shocked out of his mind.

Kakashi's chuckling turned into full blown laughter. "I think that Jiraiya-sama has just woken up. And I also think that we should hurry to the room before we have a murder on our hands."

* * *

"I'VE BECOME OROCHIMARU!!" Jiraiya shouted at the top of his lungs, rocketing out of the bed at breakneck speed. He leaped to the corner of the room, and assumed the fetal position, rocking back and forth and repeating in a broken and eriee tone, "I've become Orochimaru...I've become Orochimaru... I've become Orochimaru..."

Lucky for him, Tenten was rather out of it. She didn't wake up at the sound of Jiraiya's shouts.

Just then, Naruto and Kakashi walked into the room, and saw the whole, pitiful, sight.

"...You had something to do with this, didn't you, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said, turning towards Kakashi with half-lidded eyes.

"...Maybe." Kakashi said with the same eye-smile.

* * *

Meanwhile, while Naruto and Jiraiya were talking (more like while Naruto attempted to get Jiraiya out of his nervous breakdown), Sakura was resting in bed.

...Or at least, she was trying to.

But she couldn't get her mind off of what had happened in the Forest of Death.

Meeting Orochimaru...Sasuke getting that Curse Mark...and most of all...

What Naruto had become while fighting the sannin himself.

* * *

**Another long flashback heading your way!**

_Sakura watched on helplessly as the freaky woman with the _very_long tongue ensnared Naruto with said tongue. Needless to say, Naruto was NOT pleased._

_"HEY! Ugh...! Man, this is gross! Put me down before I rip this tongue out of your head!" Naruto growled, trying to shake loose._

_The woman paid him no heed as she drew him closer to herself, a look of excitement in her eyes._

_'Amazing...the Kyuubi Brat lives!' She thought._

_She put her hands into a sign for a technique, then put her face close towards Naruto's own._

_"I see...when your anger is roused, some of the Kyuubi's chakra slips out. Ku Ku Ku...what an interesting childhood you must have had..." She cackled, as five points of purple dark energy appeared onto her fingertips._

_It was true. Dispite the fact that Luther had all but made the Kyuubi useless to Naruto, the fox was still smart enough to save some chakra in reserve for the blond when he needed it._

_Just then, the woman raised Naruto's shirt with her tongue, revealing the seal that Naruto's father, Minato, used to seal the Kyuubi within him._

_"The seal has made itself known on your skin..." The woman said, staring at it for a few seconds, even as Naruto snarled at her._

_A few seconds later, she plunged the hand with the dark energy into Naruto's gut, hissing out, "Gogyo Fuuin (Five Pronged Seal)!"_

_Within moments, Naruto felt pain unlike any he had ever felt before. He could bearly hear Sakura shouting at Sasuke to do something, ANYTHING, but Naruto didn't think that _anything _could help him now. His blood red eyes returned to normal as he slumped down, unconscious. _

_"Heh...this boy may become of some use in the future...but for now, he is nothing," The woman said, tossing him aside as the last vision of light faded from his eyes..._

* * *

**Within Naruto's mind...**

_"Ugh...what...what happened..." Naruto moaned out, as he got to his feet. "...Where am I...?"_

_"Humph. You foolish boy...you've gotten yourself into trouble yet again?" Luther's voice said from nowhere._

_"Luther?!" Naruto growled out, knowing the voice instantly. "Where are you?! Show yourself!"_

_"In due time, Inferior Outer-Half. Just walk through that light there, and we can finally meet..." The voice chuckled._

_And as it said those words, a light appeared in Naruto vision. The blond heasitated, but decided to go through the light._

_And he couldn't believe the sight that awaited him._

_"What the...what the hell has Luther been doing while I was away?!"_

_Naruto once again found himself trapped within his own mind. But he noticed that many changes had happened since the last time he was there._

_The whole place looked like the inside of a huge clock, with golden gears, and unknown technology everywhere. It looked like something that would come from the future! (A.N: For those of you who played Star Ocean: Til The End of Time, the room looks like the Spiral Tower.)_

_"...I guess that Luther did some renovations in my absence," Naruto said to himself. "Speaking of which...where is that heartless bastard? He was the one who called me here in the first place!"_

_"No need to be so impatient, boy. I'm right here," A voice said from behind the startled Naruto._

_The blond whirled around...only to come face to face with himself. He was staring at a darker version of himself, with blond hair a lighter shade than his own, and blue eyes that held nothing but arrogant malice._

_"So...we meet face to face at last, my inferior Outer-Half," Luther said in a deep tone, with a smirk that looked completely out of place on Naruto's face._

_"You're Luther?" Naruto said, confused. "Why the hell do you look like me?!"_

_Luther frowned. "Trust me, I'm not loving this set-up anymore than you are. Sadly, my real body was lost sometime ago. So I've had to make do with this one...for now. But enough of that. You're probably wondering why I've called you here, correct?"_

_Naruto rolled his eyes. "DUH. After all, it's not often that you get called inside your own mind by a murderer like you!"_

_Luther sighed. "So just because I killed that boy in self-defense, that makes me a murderer?"_

_"He stood no chance! You were clearly TOYING with him the entire time! Would it have been so hard to just have let Haku LIVE?!" Naruto snarled, glaring death at his darker Inner-Half._

_Luther returned the glare in kind. But he simply turned so that his back was to Naruto, and spoke again. "Whatever. The reason I've called you here is to test out my newest technique-"_

_"What, so you can kill me and take over my body permanently?!" Naruto growled, getting into a fighting stance. "You won't delete me without a fight!"_

_Luther sighed in frustration. "No, you inferior nitwit. I've called you here to test my newest technique to see if it's combat ready! Because, of course..."_

_And he turned back towards Naruto, a wicked smirk on his face. "There will be a time where I will get the chance to take over your body again..."_

_Naruto didn't say anything. He just continued to glare at the Genius._

_"Anyway, let's see how you like this..."_

_Luther walked to the middle of the room, in front of a massive digital computer. He entered a few commands, and turned to Naruto, his finger hovering above the last button._

_"Naruto...I hope you're ready to take a trip down Memory Lane..." Luther chuckled smugly._

_But before Naruto could ask him what he meant, Luther pressed the final button, making a huge piller of Light surround him, and nearly blinding the blond._

_By the time the flash was gone, Naruto felt it was safe to open his eyes. But the first thing he saw filled him with shock._

_For Haku and Zabuza were standing right in front of him, alive and well!"_

_"Zabuza-teme? Haku?!" Naruto shouted, unable to believe his eyes. "How did YOU two get here?!"_

_"It's no use talking to them, Inferior Outer-Half. They haven't been brought back to life. I simply created replicas based on the data that I gained after disposing of their original bodies. You don't really think I'd have let such strong warriors go to waste, did you?" Luther laughed._

_Naruto felt a little sadness at the fact that the Haku before him wasn't the real one. He should have been able to tell with how lifeless his eyes looked._

_"So...what's this all about? Did you just bring me here to mock me with the image of what could have been my friend...?" Naruto said in a low tone._

_Luther simply smirked again. "No. I called you here so that you could fight against them. I need to make sure that they are combat ready, and twice as good as the originals."_

_His smirk grew wider. "And if you somehow manage to last 5 minutes against them, then I shall teach you a new technique. One called... Dijitaru Shinsei (Digital Rebirth)."_

_"Digital Rebirth?" Naruto said with a red question mark above his head. "What's that?"_

_"You'll find out if you can survive," Luther laughed. "Now then...let the experiment...BEGIN!"_

_"HOLD IT!" Naruto shouted. "I don't have time for this! I have to get back so that I can fight that bitch who knocked me out!"_

_"Oh, you just leave her to me, boy. It's not like you'll have much of a choice, after all..." Luther said, snapping his fingers. Once he did, the Digital Clones of Haku and Zabuza charged towards a startled Naruto, who had to jump back to avoid a swipe of the huge sword, and several senbon in his eye-sockets._

_As Naruto began his fight with the ghosts of his past, Luther smirked to himself as he summoned another portal, this one filled with darkness instead of light._

_'Little does that fool know that I've _already_perfected Dijitaru Shinsei. This is mearly a test...a test to see if he is worthy to become a vital part in my plans...And while he's busy, I shall go and pay the little lady...or should I say, _Orochimaru_...a little visit... Heh Heh Heh...'_

_And with that, Luther went through the portal, vanishing in an instant._

* * *

**Back in the Forest of Death**

_"Sasuke-kun! No!" Sakura shouted as she witnessed Orochimaru sink his fangs into the Uchiha's neck._

_Afterwards, the Snake Sannin retracted his snake-like neck back to his body, with a wide smirk on his face._

_Short seconds afterwards, Sasuke began to shake in pain as he clutched at his neck. A very sinster-looking symbol appeared on the spot where Orochimaru had bitten him._

_"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted feeling helpless. She turned to glare at Orochimaru. "You...what have you done to him?!"_

_"Ku Ku Ku...I just gave him a little parting gift..." Orochimaru chuckled. "Very soon, Sasuke-kun will seek me out...and desire my power..."_

_"Why would he desire your power when it pales in comparision to mine?" A deep voice said from behind Orochimaru._

_Orochimaru, without a look of surprise on his face, turned towards it. Only to see Naruto standing on a tree branch slightly above his own._

_Sakura was shocked that the boy was back on his feet after the beating that he got the first time. And even Sasuke, through his pain, could make out the blond._

_"Naruto!" Sakura cried out, relieved to see the boy back on his feet._

_"N...Naruto..." Sasuke groaned in pain, his vision getting worse._

_"Hmmm...so, you're tougher than I thought, Naruto-kun. But sadly, your thought process could use some work," Orochimaru cackled. "You should have stayed down. Or do you honestly think that you can beat me?"_

_Naruto (or rather Luther) just gave a cold smirk at that. "First of all, you'd be a fool to compare me to that inferior weakling. Second...you aren't worth my time. Not at the moment, anyway."_

_Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at that comment. "Is that so, Naruto-kun? Ku Ku Ku, then why don't you put that to the test?"_

_"I don't think so. You may have defeated that corrupt Uchiha fool, but you aren't even worth the effort. I've scraped the bottom of my boot with men far more powerful than you," Luther sneered, enjoying the look of annoyance on the snake sannin's face. "But I DO have some friends that could play with you for a bit..."_

_Sakura couldn't believe her ears. Did Naruto just call Sasuke-kun...corrupt? And a fool? She knew that the two didn't like each other (sometimes, she got the feeling that they HATED each other), but Naruto had never gone THAT far before..._

_Sasuke was too weak to respond, but inside, he was _seething_. Where did the DOBE of all people get off on calling him corrupt and a fool?! If they survived this, then Naruto would PAY._

_"Oh? And tell me, you impudent brat, where are these so called 'friends' of yours?" Orochimaru hissed, becoming bored with the boy already._

_Luther just smirked again, and brought out one of his mini energy palm computers. "You're about to meet them now," The genius said, as he typed in some comands._

_Orochimaru raised his eyebrow even higher as he observed the boy. 'Where did someone like him get something like that? And what is it, for starters?'_

_Sakura had no idea what the thing was either. And she couldn't believe the way Naruto was acting. It was almost as if...it was no longer Naruto in control of his own body. But that was crazy talk...right?_

_Soon, Luther finished putting in the commands, and gave a sort of crazed grin towards Orochimaru. _

_"Now then, you trash, prepare to feel the wrath of one of my greatest programs. You should feel honored. After all, you are the first living thing that I shall test it on." Luther said with a sinister laugh. "Behold! Dijitaru Shinsei!_

* * *

And that brings an end to this chapter. Next chapter will feature the fight between Orochimaru, and Luther's minions, as well as Naruto fighting against the digital clones of Haku and Zabuza. Who are the people that Luther has called? Here's a hint. If you've finished the Star Ocean: Til The End of Time game, and you think of people that are in the same group as Luther was in, then you should have some idea who he'll be calling out with the Digital Rebirth technique. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

And now, it's time for some more Omakes, thanks again to clockworkchaos!

* * *

Disclaimer – the author has no idea what the Female Orochimaru character is like,  
who likes her (aside from Sasuke), what relationship she has with the village,  
her panty size or her strength level, so the following omake will follow the rule  
of funny for all important parts.

This author is having trouble finding a decent translating site so some parts  
that should be in Japanese may be in English

Luther laughed, by subtly  
manipulating that foolish boy's potion making, he had managed to reverse the  
intended effect. Now instead of being suppressed for a month, Luther had an  
entire night to accomplish his goals.

"Now let's see, I believe the first order of business is to remove a  
certain little snake, and after that, well, I've always wanted my own  
Assasination squad." Luther continued to muse as he made his way along the  
city, "A shame I can't take out that smug Uchiha fool or one of my  
Outer-half's powerful friends, but I can't have him fighting me too hard yet."

Luther raised his hand his staff materializing in his hand. Bringing it down,  
he blasted it apart in a grand show of over dramatic destruction that villains  
are wont to do.

"Come out little snake, hiding won't save you."

No response.

"Don't worry, I just want to return you to what you were. You  
are a accident, a mere error in this world. And I'm going to correct that error.  
You cannot hide."

"No, but I can do this. _Majin no jutsu_."

Luther found himself surrounded by blackness. "A genjutsu? Don't you know  
that I can easily break out of these?"

"A normal genjutsu," The Female Clone of Orochimaru said as she appeared.

Luther began waving his staff around, looking rather silly as it did nothing.  
"What have you done?"

"Well Luther, you forgot one thing. Though I am no longer a part of  
Orochimaru, I still have his love of learning and discovery.

However, while he  
hurts others to gain knowledge, I try to use my knowledge to help others, such  
as studying the scrolls on the sharingan's illusionary techniques to help  
Sasuke-kun."

"You don't have a sharingan, there is no possible way you could have recreated  
Tsukuyomi.."

"Ku ku.. you're right. I couldn't, and I didn't. Rather, what really helped  
me create this was you."

Luther scowled "Me?"

"Yes, you. You see I've been doing research on you. Tracking down  
forbidden and secret scrolls."

"There is nothing on me."

Oro giggled "You're wrong about that. I don't know how, but you actually  
come from a parallel world. Your personality somehow came to our world after  
you were defeated."

Oro giggled again "So I began researching on the parallel world and I came  
up with this jutsu. It causes you to relive a portion of the life of one of the  
hero's of these worlds. As such, until you reach a important point in the  
character's life, such as defeating a powerful foe, you will be limited to what  
the character can do."

"Very impressive, but as I can still control my actions, my skill will be  
more than a match for any challenge. And I know it's possible, as I am  
reliving the past."

"Right. Just to be fair, I'm going to tell you what you can do. That gun at your  
side can shoot infinite pellets, and the red cape will allow you to make a  
second jump in midair. Finally, the nature of this jutsu means that if you die,  
you will merely be sent back to the beginning."

Luther sneered "Pathetic. A jutsu where I can't even die? What do you  
hope to accomplish?"

"Delaying you until Naruto can take back his body."

"Foolish sentimentalism," Luther looked around his surrounding coming  
into view. "THIS is the best you could come up with? A field with a few  
apple trees?"

"Actually they're more like giant cherries, good luck being the  
guy…"

* * *

That omake was based on a game called 'I wanna be the guy' according to clockwork. Anyway, here's another one from him!

* * *

**If Itachi is Kefka, what are the rest of Akatsuki's inner imps? 1st up, Kisame.**

Itachi and Kisame stand smiling in front of a group of terrified rock nins,

Kisame: Hey Itachi, want to see a trick?

Itachi: (giggles manically) Go ahead.

Kisame puts a Kunai on the table, balancing it so the pointed end faces  
strait up..

Kisame: I'm going to make this Kunai disappear. Watch it, watch it…

Picks up a struggling rock-nin, then slams him down on the Kunai

Itachi: Kisame, you've already done that trick. You should never give repeat  
performances...well unless it's something really good, like blowing up a  
town..

Kisame: Oh, I agree. You might want to put your hat back on.

BOOM! The head of the rock ninja exposes, followed quickly by a rain of blood  
upon the two Akatsuki members and his shell shocked compatriots.

Itachi: Uhahaha, and they say rain never comes in earth country. Oh look, his  
compatriots look so sad.

Kisame unsheathes Samehada .

Kisame: Give me a minute, soon I'll have them smiling the biggest grins  
you've ever seen.

Itachi: You're so generous, so what do you want to do after this?

Kisame: I was thinking put chemicals in the river to give the fish grins.

Itachi: Funny, I was just thinking of poisoning Iwa's main water supply and  
rivers.

Kisame: No reason we can't do both!

Both begin laughing.

* * *

I really don't get it, but I'm sure someone will. Anyway, Catch you next continue!


	19. Bitter Flashbacks Part 3

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Time for the next chapter, and my true first time at trying to write a serious fight scene. After this chapter, we'll go back to the funny that was present in all the first ones. Enjoy!

**Last Time, on Clowning Around...**

_"Now then, you trash, prepare to feel the wrathof one of my greatest programs. You should feel honored. After all, you are the first living thing that I shall test it on." Luther said with a sinister laugh. "Behold! Dijitaru Shinsei!"_

* * *

_After Luther called out the name of his move, he pressed one final button on his tiny computer. Soon after that, narrow streams of light came from out of the ground in front of him, much to Sakura's surprise, and Orochimaru's intrigue._

_"In case you haven't figured it out, snakey, this is my own version of a summoning. Of course, who needs chakra when you have the technology that I posses at my disposal?" Luther chuckled darkly._

_'What the heck is Naruto doing? Digital Rebirth? When did he even learn something like that? And what does it summon?' Sakura thought._

_'Hmmm...perhaps this boy is more interesting than I thought,' Orochimaru thought._

_After a few long seconds, the light vanished. And standing in their places were three humans. Or at least, they looked human._

_The first one had short, spiky dark hair, glasses, a bored look on his face, and was wearing a dark full body coat, with a yellow undershirt with the collar pointing outwards on it, along with white thin stripes all around it. Plus, he had on white gloves as well._

_The second one looked a bit more...feminine compared to the first. He had short blond hair with two parts on the front that went down to nearly cover his eyes...and what looked to be red lipstick on his lips. He also had bright red eyes, and was wearing a gray body vest around his dark body suit, which was tied together by a yellow belt. And finally, he also wore a red tie underneath a blue brooch on his chest, and had the same gloves as the first one._

_Finally, the third one looked to be the toughest one of them all. He had long dark hair that split into dreadlocks at the end, as well as darker skin than the others. He had dark eyes like the first one did, as well as the same full body coat, the only difference being the X shaped belt that sealed it around his body. Plus, he had his own brand of gloves, which were dark, and had holes were the fingers would have been, so that his fingers could be seen._

_Luther laughed an evil laugh. "These are the friends that I mentioned, Orochimaru. And I'll be more than happy to introduce them. First up, please meet...Azazer!"_

_"Hmm...it's a pleasure to fight one of the legendary sannins in battle. Even if your current strength doesn't match up to the owner's, this should still be a good match," The man with the glasses said._

_"Next up...Belzeber!"_

_"Hi! I just know that we're gonna get along great. ...Or we would, if I didn't have to destroy you now. Oh well," The feminine man said in a flamboyant tone, shrugging._

_"And last, but very far from least...Berial!"_

_The man didn't say anything. He just nodded his head to let Luther know that he had heard him._

_Azazer turned towards Luther. "It's nice to finally see you again after all this time, Owner. Though I can't help but notice that you look...vastly different from before...let me guess. New Haircut?"_

_Luther's eyebrow twiched a bit. "Very funny, Azazer. Next time, remind me to summon you WITHOUT your smug personality."_

_"Yeah, you know better than to talk to the Owner like that!" Belzeber said._

_"Owner or no, anyone that makes me have to team up with a spineless wimp like you better be prepared for ridicule," Azazer scoffed._

_"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Belzeber screeched, glaring fire at Azazer._

_"..." Berialwent, rubbing his temples a bit. He turned towards Luther. "So, Owner, why have you called us out this time? Does it have something to do with Mr. Living Mask over there?"_

_Luther nodded. "Yes. I refuse to waste my time on this trash for the time being, so I want you to take care of him while the girl and I make our escape with the boy. But leave him alive if you can. After all, if I want him as one of my servants in the future, then I'll have to finish the job myself..."_

_Luther leaped towards the startled Sakura, who was still holding up a now out-of-it Sasuke. And without saying a word, he lifted both Sakura and Sasuke over his shoulders, much to Sakura's shock._

_"H-Hey! Naruto, what..." Sakura tried to speak._

_"No time. We must go now!" Luther said, turning his back to Orochimaru._

_This was a mistake, however, as Orochimaru instantly took advantage of both of Luther's arms being full, flinging out his own and shouting out, "Senai Jashuu (Hidden Snake Hands)!" Various snakes shot out of the sleeve on Orochimaru's robe, hissing angrily, and headed straight for Luther's neck. Sakura saw them._

_"Naruto, look out!" Sakura shouted out. But Luther didn't make any movement._

_Just as the snakes were about to bite into the genius' neck, a flash of light went right through them, slicing their heads off in the process._

_"What?!" Orochimaru hissed, watching as the light went backwards past him...and back to Belzeber. The femimine man was holding something that couldn't be described as anything else but a Blue Lazer Whip._

_"I hope you didn't forget about us, big boy," Belzeber laughed. "You wanna get to the Owner? You gotta get through us first!"_

_"And I assure you, that won't be happening," Azazer smirked, bringing out a gun from his pocket._

_"...Owner, what should we do if Orochimaru should attempt to go after you?" Berial inquired._

_"..._Kill him_," Luther said, without turning back. With that said, he jumped into the tallest tree, and took off with Sakura and Sasuke in tow._

_Azazer's smirk widened even more. "It'll be our pleasure..."_

_"So, ready to dance, big boy?" Belzeber said._

_"I hope you are...because it won't be just any dance. It'll be a _Bitter _Dance," Berial said._

_Orochimaru glared at the three followers of Luther, before giving off a smirk of his own. "Yes, it will be a bitter dance. A dance that ends in your death!"_

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Naruto's mind...**

_Naruto was having a tough time avoiding Digital Zabuza and Haku'sattacks. It seemed that Luther was telling the truth when he said that these clones were nearly twice as strong as the originals. He had already suffered a few scratches due to D. Haku's senbons, but had managed to avoid getting cut in half by Zabuza's sword._

_"This is nuts! I couldn't beat these guys when they were at only half the level they're at now! How am I supposed to even survive against them now?!" Naruto shouted to himself._

_Then he got an idea._

_"Well...I've been training myself in the art of Comedy Combat...maybe some of those techniques will help me here! It's not like I have any better ideas!"_

_With that thought in mind, Naruto created the hand-sign for his famous technique. "Time to get this party started! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"_

_Five clones of the blond appeared within the room, all with their arms crossed._

_"Okay, boys! It's time to get funny on their asses!" Naruto shouted._

_"ALL RIGHT!" All of the clones shouted._

_'There's one move that I think can help me win. But I need time to build up enough chakra for it. Not to mention that if I miss, I'm finished!' Naruto thought. Then he began to bark out commands._

_"Narutos 1 through 3, keep them busy! Naruto 4, watch my back while I charge my technique! Finally, Naruto 5, hide within this room until I call you!"_

_"Right!" All the clones said._

_"GO!" Naruto shouted, as he closed his eyes and began to focus. The 5th Naruto went off in a random direction, the 4th one stood close to Naruto to guard him, and the remaining three charged towards D. Zabuza and D. Haku at full speed._

_The Digital Clones were caught off guard by this tactic, which allowed two of the clones to break through Zabuza's defense, and the other one to break through Haku's. All three clones delivered a punch that threw Zabuza and Haku to the other side of the room, quickly giving chase so as to give Naruto time to complete the move._

_The two Rouge-nins snapped out of it quickly though, and went back on the offensive. Zabuza swung his massive blade towards the first Naruto, who managed to dodge it at the last second by jumping into the air. He countered by sending an Axe-Kick down towards Zabuza, who blocked it quickly by using the flat of his blade as a shield. But while he blocked the attack, the other Naruto tackled him from behind, not sending him to the floor because of how big he was compared to him, but throwing Zabuza off balance. That allowed the first Naruto to use the blade as a springboard, while he did a 180 flip in the air, kicking Zabuza in the chin during it, and causing him to nearly fall onto his back. But he managed a back flip at the last second, and swung the flat of the blade towards the landing Naruto clone, which caused the other clone to tackle him out of the way just in time._

_Meanwhile, the third Naruto was putting up a good fight against Haku. The feminine boy launched several senbon at the clone, who dived to the side to avoid it. The clone did what could be considered a break dancing move to quickly get back to his feet, and he launched several of his shuriken to cancel out the next volley of senbon that Haku sent his way, rushing towards him to engage in a Taijutsu battle. Once Naruto got close enough, he aimed a closed back fist towards the Rouge-Nin, which Haku blocked with his wrist. Haku countered by aiming a sweep-kick towards the clone's feet, trying to knock him to his back. But the Naruto clone canceled it out with his own sweep-kick, which caused Haku to throw the boy away from him before he launched more of his senbons, which the clone dodged by making his body spin in the air._

_The Real Naruto couldn't see what was happening, but he felt how well his clones were doing against the Digital clones of Haku and Zabuza, and was pleased. 'Heh, I guess all that training paid off. We're at a stalemate. But I don't think that will remain the case once we start to break out the Ninjutsu. I'd better hurry...'_

* * *

**Back in the Forest of Death**

_Orochimaru quickly dodged another swing from Belzeber's whip, who was laughing as he swung the lazer weapon with grace and quickness. With each near hit, the follower of Luther caused Orochimaru to jump from tree branch to tree branch, not wanting to end up like his snakes._

_Soon, Orochimaru did a 180, and launched more of his deadly snakes towards Belzeber, who simply sliced their heads off with hii Lazer Whip._

_"That trick is getting old, big boy. Don't you have anyway else to attack?" Belzeber pouted, getting bored._

_But he was caught off guard as Orochimaru appeared behind him, and wrapped his hands around his neck._

_"You were saying, fool?" Orochimaru hissed as he began to squeeze the life out of Belzeber._

_Only to get his head completely destroyed by a energy bullet fired from Azazer. But instead of blood flowing out of his neck, mud did instead, and it wasn't too long before his entire body turned into mud._

_"Humph." Azazer muttered, using the aiming device to locate Orochimaru and shooting repeadly at him. Orochimaru was able to dodge the bullets, but every tree the bullets hit gained a HUGE hole within them._

_The Snake Sannin landed onto the ground, went through a couple of Hand signs, then, slamming his palms into said ground, called out, "Kuchiyose, Rashoumon!"_

_A Huge Gate with the face of a Demon shot out from the dirt ground, blocking off Orochimaru from sight._

_"Ku Ku Ku Ku...just try and get through this, you little fools..." Orochimaru chuckled. 'This should give me enough time to figure out the best way to kill them...'_

_"Okay, you asked for it, big boy!" Belzeber shouted. He turned towards Azazer. "You ready, Azazer?"_

_Azazer pressed a button on his gun, and it turned into a Lazer Whip of its own, though it wasn't as big as Belzeber's, and the handle was still like that of the gun itself. "Now I am."_

_"Okay, let's bust this gate down!"_

_The two rushed towards the door, and began to strike at it quickly with the Lazer whips. They didn't even leave a dent in it, but it was beggining to spot many dark lines on it thanks to the heat of the Lazers._

_Orochimaru cackled. "It's no use, you weak fools. This gate is known world wide for being able to withstand even the strongest Ninjutsu attacks. Even the Kyuubi itself would have trouble with it! You'll never break it!"_

_"Who said we were trying to break it, Sannin?" Azazer's voice said from the other side._

_"We know that WE can't break it. That's why we're doing a little thing called weakining it," Belzeber snickered. "I think that's enough now. Berial, it's showtime!"_

_Berial nodded his head, and jumped high off of the Tree Branch he was watching from. He held his arm up above his head, and within a few seconds, a _huge Rocket Launcher_ appeared on his arm!_

_"Humph, too easy. Say good-bye...to your defense!" Berial shouted, launching over Ten Rockets towards the Gate. They all caused a massive explosion on contact with the Gate, and thanks to the hits from Azazer and Belzeber's whips, it was weak enough that it blew apart with great force._

_"AGH!" Orochimaru shouted as the blast was so great that it flung him away from the destroyed gate. He quickly got back to his feet, but Azazer and Belzeber were over to his spot in an instant, and the blond swiped his Lazer Whip across the Snake's shoulder, while Azazer shot him in the arm._

_The Snake Sannin roared in pain as he was flung back thanks to the duel attack, and landed hard on his back. This time, he had to struggle to get back to his feet, clutching the spot where Belzeber had sliced off a good amount of his skin, while the blood began to flow from the hole in his arm. Thankfully, Azazer had toned down the power of his gun before he had shot Orochimaru. The Rouge-nin glared death at the three._

_"I don't like that look in your eye!" Belzeber taunted._

_"Neither do I," Azazer agreed. "Seriously, unless you would like to retreat, then stop struggling and just die."_

_"You stand no chance against the three of us," Berial said, landing next to his comrads._

_Orochimaru continued to glare, but sighed in defeat. "I'll admit...I underestimated you three. I can't afford to take too much damage at the moment, so I will stand down quietly...for now."_

_The Snake Sannin sunk down into the ground, but before he vanished, he left these final words._

_"But trust me...if we happen to meet again...I warn you, I will not make the same mistake twice. And you three...will die."_

_And with that, he was gone._

* * *

**Back in Naruto's mind...**

_The fight had took a turn for the worse. Naruto was correct in his_ _guess that things would be much tougher if it turned into a ninjutsu battle. But he was caught off guard when Zabuza managed to use his Water Dragon Jutsu when there was no water around to speak off. The clones were caught off guard too, so the ones fighting Zabuza were destroyed when the dragon crashed into them. This made the other clone fighting Haku distracted enough so that said boy could put a few senbon through his heart._

_Now it was just the one Naruto clone left that was protecting Naruto, and although he was putting up a good fight, Haku sneaked up from behind him, and took him out, leaving Naruto alone._

_Thankfully, just as the two were charging towards Naruto, he finally finished his technique._

_"Yes! Alright, you two clones, take this! Chibi Musha (Tiny Warrior)!" Naruto shouted out._

_Afterwards, he aimed both his index fingers towards the two clones, and fired a bright pink ray towards them, which connected. Then he watched as the two shrunk down into Chibi-Forms of themselves!_

_Sadly for Zabuza, his sword didn't shrink with him, so it fell out of his hands, causing him to trip over himself since he was going so fast. Haku tripped over Zabuza and they both tumbled to the ground._

_Naruto laughed at this, even as he glowed bright yellow for a moment before he shrunk down to the size of a Chibi himself._

_"That the problem with this move. Since I haven't mastered it yet, it has the bad side effect of turning ME into a Chibi as well. But that's why I had my clone wait in the sidelines!" Naruto said in a cute little voice. "Now, Clone me!"_

_The final clone of Naruto, which was still its big size, came out of its hiding spot, and grabbed the two clones of Zabuza and Haku, who pouted in a cute way when they learned they were defeated._

_"And that's how you do it!" Naruto said with a huge grin._

_Needless to say, when Luther came back, Naruto gained a brand new move._

* * *

And that's all for now, and it's also the final part of Bitter Flashbacks. In the next chapter, Naruto will talk to Jiraiya, train his friends and himself, and I'll show everyone getting ready for the Chunnin Exams. Then, finally, in the chapter after that, the Chuunin Exams will begin! Anyway, here's another Omake from clockworkchaos!

* * *

**If Itachi is Kefka, what are the rest of Akatsuki's inner imps? Part 2: Hidan and Kakuzu**

Hidan: That's right you Kumo varmints! I'm tha  
rootingest, tootinest, slicingest, dicingest hombre this north, south, east and  
west of the Pecos.

Kakuzu: And here we see another quirk of your fascinating biology. The eyes  
are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he,  
Hidan?"

Hidan: You sasa frasing varmint, I'ma gonna slica you up!

Kakuzu: But I really do like having you as a partner, after all it is said  
that the civilized man enjoys good and intelligent company, so that through  
learned discourse, he may rise above the savage.

Hidan: Aw, put er there partner.

Kakuzu: I on the other hand enjoy being partnered with a complete idiot to  
remind me I'm the best.

Hidan: OH WHY YOU!

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the quick update. And tell me if I got Azazer, Belzeber and Berial's characters down right if you've played the Star Ocean: Til The End of Time game. Catch you next continue!

And before I forget, thanks to jcogginsa for the idea of Naruto's Chibi technique!


	20. Naruto Vs Tenten!

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

Sigh...I should really stop saying things before I can mean them. We still have a few chapters before the Chuunin Exam Finals begin, but I hope you enjoy the chapters leading up to them. Enjoy this next chapter!

* * *

"No."

"Please??"

_"No."_

_"Please??"_

**"No."**

**"Please??"**

"NO."

"PLEASE??"

"GOD DAMNIT, KIN! WHAT PART OF FUCKING **NO** DIDN'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! WAS IT THE 'N'?! OR MAYBE IT WAS THE 'O'! HELL, MAYBE IT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING WORD!!"

Kin, not shaken by her friend Tayuya's outburst in the least, continued to use the puppy eyes. "Come on, Tayuya-chan! You are the only other person that I can trust with this!"

"Kin-chan...I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly a very polite girl. You know as good as anyone else that what basically breaks down into a seduction mission does not fit me. At all. In the fucking _least,_" Tayuya sighed, trying to resist her friend's pleading.

"But it's not a seduction mission! We just have to make friends with the boy, get close enough to learn all of his secrets! And before you say anything, I know that you are VERY rough around the edges. But once people get past that part about you, they see what a good friend you are! I should know, since I did that myself, Tayuya-chan!" Kin insisted, still pouring on the puppy dog look.

"Well...you're different than most people, Kin-chan. More tolerable. More fucking naive," Tayuya said with a tiny playful smirk.

"Who's to say the boy isn't the same way? Come on, Tayuya-chan, please? I'll do whatever you want afterwards!" Kin said bowing before the red-head.

Tayuya sweat dropped, uncomfortable with the bowing. "Okay, okay! I'll do it, Kin-chan, just get your sorry ass off the ground before someone sees!" Tayuya hissed.

Kin squealed with happiness, and jumped to her feet, wrapping her arms around Tayuya as she gave her a big hug. "Oh, thank you, Tayuya-chan! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet, Kin-chan. You still have to do whatever I want..." Tayuya said with a somewhat lustful voice, fixing Kin with a sultry gaze.

Kin gulped, even as she smiled towards the foul-mouthed kunoichi. "Somehow, I don't think I'll have a problem with that."

**Comedy Combat!**

Naruto and Kakashi had finally managed to calm Jiraiya down (though Kakashi laughing during the whole ordeal didn't help). Afterwards, they explained all that had happened, and how Jiraiya ended up in bed with Tenten (Jiraiya got some payback when he burned Kakashi's limited edition book in front of his eyes, causing the Jounin to sulk in the corner).

"Humph. So, just because a girl wanted to kill you for some reason or another, I get a sore crotch. And not the _good_ type of sore crotch either, no, but the _worst _type of sore crotch. Thanks a lot, gaki (brat)," Jiraiya said, while glaring at Naruto.

"First of all, stop saying sore crotch like its going out of style. It's really disturbing," Naruto said with a shudder. "Second, it isn't MY fault that the girl wants to gut and quarter me like a fish! I tried to ask her why she was so angry, but all she said was, and I quote, 'Shut up and BLEED!' What was I supposed to do, stand there and hope that she was joking?"

"Good point. But you still could have watched where the hell you were going..." Jiraiya muttered. "Anyway, what do you want with me?"

"I want you to train me!" Naruto stated firmly, crossing his arms. "From what Kakashi-sensei has said of you, you must be real powerful. And I'll need more than just the Comedy Combat style to beat someone like Sasuke-teme."

"Wait a minute...did you say Comedy Combat?" Jiraiya said, getting a shocked look on his face.

"Yeah, what about it?" Naruto said with his face scrunched up.

But Jiraiya didn't respond. He just got lost in thought.

_'So...you've decided to follow in your mother's footsteps, eh, Naruto? Heh...well, based on what I've heard of you, I can't say that I'm surprised. You seem to have inherited your mother's gift for mischief.' _Jiraiya chuckled to himself. '_But I wonder...just how good are you with it? I'll have to talk to Kakashi later...'_

Out loud, Jiraiya said, "Sure, I'll train you. But only on one condition."

Naruto, who had been about to jump for joy, gained a serious look on his face. "What is it?"

"You have to show me what you consider to be the strongest move in your arsenal. That way, I can measure up how good you are strength-wise, and it'll give me some idea of how to go about your training," Jiraiya replied.

"...Okay, fine. But we should do it where there is a lot of room, and where no one else can see us. I'd rather keep this move a secret until the Chuunin Finals," Naruto said, nodding his head.

_'Not to mention that I have no idea how Kakashi-sensei will respond when he sees it...'_

"THERE YOU ARE!" A girl's voice screamed.

Naruto froze at the sound of the voice. It was lighter than before, but he could still remember it. He slowly turned towards the bed behind him to see Tenten standing behind him, glaring death at him. Only this time, she didn't have her mask on, so Naruto recognised her face.

"Hey, it's you! The girl at the Chunnin Exams that used all those weapons!" Naruto said, pointing to her. "Tenten!"

Tenten gained a little smirk on her angry face. "Well...nice to see that you remember me, Naruto," she said between gritted teeth.

"Wait a minute..._you _were the one trying to kill me?! Why? What did I ever do to you?!" Naruto shouted.

"You really want to know? Then fight me!" Tenten snarled. "If you win, then I'll tell you the reason why I've been trying to kill you. But lose, and your life is mine!"

"Are you nuts?! Why would I agree to-" Naruto began.

"He'll do it!" Jiraiya interrupted.

"What the _hell, _Ero-sennin?!" Naruto shouted, glaring at Jiraiya.

"What? This is the perfect time for you to show off your moves, including your strongest one! ...And did you just call me Ero-sennin?" Jiraiya said with a twitching eyebrow.

Kakashi (who had gotten over his book being destroyed when he remembered he had copies of each one) spoke up. "I think it's a good idea. That way, we can see if your training in the Comedy Combat style has truly paid off. Just think of this as a training exercise."

"...A training exercise that could end in my _death_," Naruto sighed. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with so that I can get to training Hinata-chan, Ino-chan and Bushy-Brows."

"You mean...you've made people other than Lee go through your madness?!" Tenten snarled, even madder than before. "I swear, for all the sane people in the world, I will CRUSH you!"

"Not like you can count yourself as 'sane'..." Naruto muttered.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Tenten growled with an angry smile on her face.

"Nothing," Naruto said. He turned to Jiraiya. "So, where should we have the fight at?"

"The Konoha forest. It should be big enough for a good fight, not to mention it'll put your ninja skills to the test as well," Jiraiya replied.

Naruto nodded. "Okay!" He turned towards Tenten with a tiny smirk on his face. "I may not know what's going on completely, but I never turn down a challenge. You'll be sorry you picked a fight with Uzumaki Naruto!"

Tenten continued to glare at him. "If anyone's gonna be sorry, it'll be YOU!"

**Comedy Combat!**

"Haaa...haaa...I did it."

Sasuke was still with the clone of Kakashi, training on top of some mountains that overlooked the forest. He had finally managed to complete the Chidori, if the giant hole at the side of one of the mountains was any indication.

"Maa...well done, Sasuke. You've managed to successfully complete and use the Chidori. But then again, I shouldn't expect any less from an Uchiha," Clone Kakashi said.

Sasuke let out an Uchiha smirk at that, even as he continued to breathe heavily.

"Anyway, now that you've managed to finally learn Chidori, that is all that I can teach you. From now on, you're on your own in training. But don't forget what I said. Use the Chidori on anyone other than an enemy...and you'll pay dearly."

And with those final words, the clone poofed into smoke.

Sasuke wasn't too surprised with that. After all, he knew that Kakashi must be training Naruto in one move to even out the playing field.

"Humph...not that it will matter much. No matter what sort of training the dobe goes through, he'll never be a match for me," Sasuke said to himself. "...But I'll find someway to train myself to control the Chidori better. It clearly has electric qualities, so maybe I can use that to my advantage without outright killing Naruto."

The Uchiha's smirk grew even wider.

"Naruto...you have no idea what you'll be up against..."

**Comedy Combat!**

Naruto and the group finally managed to make it to the forest. The blond himself and Tenten stared each other down, nearly face to face, with Kakashi and Jiraiya watching from the sidelines.

"Okay! I shall act as the judge of this match. The rules are simple. Except for no killing, there ARE no rules! You may use the terrian to your advantage, and you may use whatever jutsu and weapons you like, so long as you remember the no killing rule! When I think that a ninja cannot go on, or when he/she is knocked out, I shall declare a stop to the match at once!" Jiraiya said. "Are you ready?"

"Yep! Let's get started!" Naruto said with a confident grin.

"I've been waiting for this..." Tenten growled.

"Okay, on my mark, you may begin!" Jiraiya said.

_'If I remember right, then Tenten is supposed to be really good with weapons, projectiles in particular. That means that I should avoid a long distance battle with her at all costs! Not to mention that she has one full year of experience over my head! My best bet is to close in as fast as I can, and make the fight up close and personal, 'cause I have a feeling that the longer the fight takes, the more difficult it'll be to take her down!' _Naruto thought.

_'I may not have seen Naruto fight, but the use of his Shadow Clones is becoming known rather quickly. I have to make sure that I only focus on the real Naruto, and avoid his clones at all costs, which'll be easier said than done with all the places he can hide within the forest. Tch...as long as I can keep my distance, I can slowly wear him down. Then, when it looks like he's ready to collapse, I'll move in quickly for the final blow!' _Tenten thought.

"Ready...set...GO!" Jiraiya shouted.

At the word 'Go', Naruto and Tenten quickly jumped away from each other, each ready to make the first move.

"Okay, time to get this party started!" Naruto shouted, bringing his hands into the familiar sign. "Kage Bun-"

"I don't think so!" Tenten shouted, throwing a small wave of shuriken at the blond. Naruto was forced to dodge them, breaking his sign in the process.

"Darn...I guess she's not just gonna let me finish my technique..." Naruto said to himself, landing back onto the ground.

"Damn right I'm not gonna let you finish!" Tenten shouted. "I'll just take you down before you can even call out any clones!" She launched some more shuriken at Naruto, who jumped into a nearby tree to avoid it.

"Fine. I'll just take you out myself!" Naruto shouted, lanuching himself from the tree, and flying towards the Weapons Mistress.

"Big mistake, rookie!" Tenten shouted, launching even more shuriken towards Naruto.

"Oh, really?!" Naruto shouted, twisting his body in mid-air to avoid the projectiles, much to Tenten's shock. Tenten barely dodged the kick that Naruto aimed towards her, jumping into the air while launching a few kunai towards Naruto, who used the momentem from his kick to bounce back a good distance.

"Yes, it worked!" Naruto shouted, quickly using his famous hand sign. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

A shocked and angry Tenten saw as Naruto turned from one, to six in a matter of seconds. _'That little trickster! He wanted me to attack him after he landed!'_

"Hmm, not bad. It seems that Naruto outsmarted Tenten. He wanted Tenten to jump back as he attacked her, since it would increase the distance between the two, and give Naruto the chance to use his Shadow Clone Technique. It was just a bonus that Naruto increased the distance even further when he jumped back to avoid Tenten's counterattack," Kakashi said, impressed.

Jiraiya didn't say anything. He just kept a close eye on the match at hand.

"Heh, I'm not the same dumb kid from the academy, ya know! I've improved both in thinking AND fighting ever since taking on the Comedy Combat Style!" Naruto gloated, enjoying the look of anger on Tenten's face. "Now, this match will really begin!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Naruto!" Tenten shouted, jumping into the air while bringing out a scroll. She twirled it around herself, turning into a sort of mini tornado. She used her chakra, and slid her hand across the scroll while she continued to spin, weapons of all kinds appearing in front of her.

"Tch...this is the same move she used against the Suna Girl!" Naruto cursed to himself. He quickly shouted to his clones. "Gentelmen, prepare the pies!"

"Right!" The clones shouted, each one of them using the Gap Warp seal on their backs to bring out said food, one for each hand.

"Humph. If you think that mere pies will stop my weapons, than think again!" Tenten snarled, launching a storm of deadly weapons towards Naruto and his mini-army.

"Okay, boys! Fire!" Naruto shouted.

"Okay! _Remon Pai Mashin Gan _(Lemon Pie Machine Gun)!" The clones shouted, throwing all of the pies into the oncoming storm of metal.

The second they both hit each other, a huge explosion rocked the area, sending Tenten out of her spinning state thanks to the sheer force of it.

"What the?!" The Weapons Mistress shouted in shock as she fell towards the ground, only to see the clones waiting below her.

"Now, time to finish this!" The clones shouted, waiting until Tenten was in close enough range before they all kicked her back into the air, knocking the wind out of her for a second. Through her pain, she noticed the clones lift the real Naruto into the air, as he did rapid flips until he was a bit above Tenten.

"Take this! _Uzumaki Naruto Rendan _(Combo)! Naruto shouted, throwing his leg down to deliver the final blow.

But Tenten, thinking quickly, summoned a mid-size shield from her scroll, using it to block the attack as Naruto's foot connected with it instead of her.

"YEOUCH!" Naruto shouted, feeling the pain from hitting the steel shield.

While he was trying to dumb down the pain, Tenten twisted her body in mid-air, using her scroll to rain down another storm of weapons onto the shocked Shadow Clones, destroying them instantly.

Both of the young ninjas landed back onto the ground, Tenten feeling a bit winded from the kicks to her back, and Naruto hopping on his good leg while clutching the bad one in pain.

Tenten smirked, even as she breathed hard. "Heh...sometimes...momentum could be...haaah...a BAD thing...Naruto..." She taunted.

"And Tenten came back with a great counter. She used Naruto's momentum against him. By making him think that he had the match won, he threw all of his power into that kick, which made the collision with the shield that much more painful. It's a miracle that he didn't break any bones, I'll give him that. But with the use of only one of his legs now, Naruto is clearly at a disavantage," Kakashi said. "She's not an upper-classwoman for nothing."

_'Normally, it wouldn't be a problem. But with Naruto's Inner-Imp closing off access to the Kyuubi's chakra, not to mention the seal that Orochimaru placed on him, he can't heal as quickly anymore.' _The Copy-Nin thought.

Jiraiya just continued to watch...

Naruto knew that he was in trouble. With only one leg to stand on, he couldn't hope to avoid the next wave of weapons that Tenten would launch his way. The next move that he made...would most likely be his last.

And he knew what he had to do.

Granted, it was the LAST thing he wanted to do, but he couldn't see how else he could win.

With a bit of difficulty, Naruto stood on both of his legs, his right one throbbing like crazy. Then, without saying a word, he started going through a bunch of handsigns.

Tenten knew that he was going to unleash something big, and that she had to stop him. So, with the last of her strength, she summoned forth the same Katana that she used last night to try and slice Naruto with, and rushed towards the blond, intent on cutting him just enough to make him faint from bloodloss.

But just as she made it close to him, a poof of smoke erupted from Naruto's spot, just as she swung the sword. A loud clang came from the smoke, and when it cleared, Kakashi's eye widened. "No way...!"

Standing in front of Naruto was none other than Zabuza! He had blocked the attack from Tenten's Katana with his own huge sword.

Tenten quickly jumped back, and stared wide-eyed at the huge man. "Wha...?"

"This is my strongest technique, taught to me by my Inner-Imp, Luther. It's called Digital Rebirth, and it allows me to call forth any person that Luther has...deleted, and gained data on. The only difference is that the person called forth is twice as strong as the real one," Naruto explained. He gave a tiny smile. "Still want to fight? Now that I've called forth a stronger version of the Demon...of...the mist..."

But Naruto was cut off as he felt himself lose consciousness, and fell to the ground. It wasn't too long before the Zabuza that Naruto had called forth vanished as well.

Tenten blinked for a bit, before she felt her own legs give out, and landed on her backside, though she was still conscious.

No one said anything for a few moments, but soon, Jiraiya called out, "Winner, Tenten!"

* * *

And that's all for this chapter. What happened to Naruto? Why did he faint? And how will the others react to Naruto's Digital Rebirth technique? All this will be answered in the next chapter, Intense Training Begins! Hope you enjoy it! Try to guess why Naruto fainted. And now, time for some more Omakes from Clockworkchaos, and finally one from myself!

* * *

**If Itachi is Kefka, what are the rest of Akatsuki's inner imps? Part 3: Zetsu**

Zetsu: And welcome back folks, to the Valley of the End  
battle, where Sasuke and naruto are still going at it. I'm Zetsu black.

Zetsu: And I'm Zetsu white.

Zetsu: And we're your host for tonight's shinobi showdown. Now, when we last  
saw them, Naruto was still chasing a distraught Sasuke He's now finally  
caught up with him at "The Valley of the End" So white, who do you think is  
gonna take this.

Zetsu: Well I'm going to have to side with Naruto. Not only is he  
determined to bring his friend back, but between his comedy combat and training  
with the legendary Jiraiya, I think the kid is a showing for taking this.

Zetsu: While I agree about the training, I think you're counting Sasuke out a  
little to easy here. He's been training with Kakashi, and has used the sharingan  
to copy the comedy combat.

Zetsu: Copys are no match for the original, black.

Zetsu: Right, but remember what Sasuke is fighting for.

Zetsu: For those you arriving late, the female clone of Orochimaru has been  
poisoned. Oro has agree to use his knowledge of his own body to cure it if  
Sasuke agrees to be his next vessel. Remember, he's fighting for love folks.

Zetsu: I know I'd love a steak right now and, LOOK AT THAT!

Zetsu: Wow! Sasuke has charged up a Chidori, and yes Naruto is forming a  
Rasengan. looks like he's decided to abandon humiliation in favor of raw  
power!

Zetsu: THEY'RE CLASHING, OH MY LEADER, THEY'RE CLASHING! YOU SHOULD SEE THIS  
FOLKS, IT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

Zetsu: Look at the dust! I can't even tell who won and… It looks like  
they're both up! They are both up!

Zetsu: Uh oh, it looks like Naruto's inner imp, Luther, has gotten out and is  
going to delete Sasuke.

Zetsu: OH MY GOD HE DODGED IT! He dodged the deletion!

Zetsu: It looks like Sasuke's inner imp is out too. This is a battle that  
will go down in history, I wish you were here.

Zetsu: Yeah, I could really use some snacks...

* * *

That's the one from Clockwork Chaos. Now here's mine!

* * *

Orochimaru: (Walking along the forest) This is great! Ever since I got this Everlasting Kunai Pouch, I've saved a ton of money. I can't think of another deal as good as this one!

Kabuto: I agree, Orochimaru-sama. This has made things much easier for us. Now we can put our money towards more important things. Like funding the destruction of the Leaf Village!

Orochimaru: Ha Ha Ha! That's for sure!

But as they continuted to laugh, Two clones of Naruto shot out of the ground below them, socking them in the jaw, as they flew onto their backs. They groaned in pain, as Tenten rushed up to them, and began to slice the handle of the Everlasting Kunai Pouch with her katana, before the image froze.

Voice: Trash your Everlasting Kunai Pouch, and buy another one already! Or we'll find you.

Tenten sliced through the handle, and Kakashi (in a suit) rushed up to the pouch, with Sasuke and Sakura (also in suits) right behind him.

Kakashi: Got it! Let's roll!

Sasuke: Right!

Sakura: (Glaring at the two downed Oto Nin) You didn't see a_nything._

The two Narutos, Tenten, Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura all rushed off.

Voice: Everlasting Kunai Pouch. Now in Blood Red.

* * *

Hope you liked that. Now for another, much sadder, Omake, and the last one in this chapter, once again from me.

* * *

Sasuke was laid out on the ground. He had used all of his power to save Naruto from the attack of Madara, taking out the bastard in the process.

Sadly, Naruto was blown away from the site due to the explosion of the blast, though he was still alive.

Sasuke, though, wasn't so lucky.

He felt his insides burning as he got to his hands knees, and all of a sudden, a huge wing burst out of his back, sending blood everywhere.

He got to his knees, and let out one final scream of agony...before his body exploded into many bloody pieces.

And from the remains of his body emerged a dragon that had the same Hand-wings that his Curse Level 2 form possessed.

As the dragon roared, it was made clear that although the Curse Seal gave Sasuke immense power...it came at a terrible price.

And Sasuke paid the price...to save his friend.

* * *

The first one to guess where I got what happened to Sasuke from correctly, will get an Omake written for them!

Anyway, Catch you next continue!


	21. Omake Theater the second!

* * *

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

"And Hello, friends!" Naruto shouted with a mike once again. "And welcome to yet another installment of..."

**"OMAKE THEATER!" **The Studio Audience cheered as the Go, Go Naruto! theme played in the background.

"Since the first one did so well, we've decided that this will be an staple for the rest of the story! I'm your host, Uzumaki Naruto. And this is my Co-Host, Luther!"

"Yes, welcome once again, peons. How nice of _me_ to grace you with my presence," Luther said in a bored tone.

"Arrogant ass..." Naruto muttered. "Anyway, we've decided to make this a regular place where you can see people who won't be getting the comedy combat style, and what they would have got. So it's time for another..."

**Rejected Styles in Comedy Combat!**

"This time, the lucky guy is Chouji! Here ya go, and enjoy!"

* * *

**Omake Number 2: **The Power of Hunger!

"OKAY! I've just gotta win this match, and it's BBQ Pork for me!" Chouji cheered as he jumped down into the arena.

Dosu sneered as he made his way into the arena as well. "Humph. I doubt that a tub of lard like you could pose any real threat."

Chouji had a vein twitch over his eye, but calmed down at the last second. "Heh, maybe so. But let's see ya talk big after I use this!"

Chouji pulled out a mini STAR of all things out of his kunai pouch.

"Where the heck did you get that? And what the hell is it?" Dosu said with an eyebrow raised.

"Beats me. Naruto gave it to me before the match began, said that it would really help out. All I have to do is eat it. Like so!" Chouji replied, eating the star in one gulp. Soon after, Chouji felt his stomach begin to rumble loudly. Not to mention that he felt REALLY hungry all of a sudden.

"What the...tubby...you're PINK!" Dosu said.

Chouji blinked, and looked down at his hands. Just like the Oto-nin had said, they were indeed pink. Bright Pink. But that didn't matter to the Large boy at the moment. All that he cared about was that he was getting hungrier by the moment.

Hell...even the Oto-nin was starting to look good...why not?

"I'm starving..." Chouji groaned.

Dosu didn't like the look that the large boy was giving him...

"Do I look like a huge piece of meat to you, tubby?!" Dosu shouted, backing off slightly.

Chouji didn't answer. He just licked his lips, and began walking towards the frightened Ninja.

"Get in my belly..." Chouji whispered.

"W...What?" Dosu asked in a shaky tone.

"...I SAID...GIT IN MAH BELLEH!" Chouji shouted, opening his mouth wide. Soon afterwards, he began to inhale everything around him with frightening strength. Hayate had to jump out of the way so that he wouldn't be sucked in as well.

"What's happening?!" Sakura shouted over the loud sound of the wind.

"You'll see!" Naruto said with a toothy grin on his face.

Dosu did his best to stand his ground, but he couldn't resist the pull of the inhale. He found himself flying straight for Chouji...and his mouth!

"No...NOOOOOOO!!" Dosu shouted, before he was swallowed whole.

The rest of the combatants looked rather sick as they witnessed this. Ino looked close to blowing chunks herself.

"Did...did he just...EAT that guy?!" Ino gagged, putting a hand to her mouth.

"...I knew that Chouji's appetite was large...but to think it went this far..." Shikamaru said, stunned.

"...Naruto, you'd better have a good explanation for this..." Sakura growled.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan. It's all under control..." Naruto snickered, reaching behind his back for something.

Chouji burped, and pat his even huger gut in content. "MMMMM! Who know that Oto flavor was so good?" He let out another burp, and it was so huge that he spit Dosu right back out.

Everyone sighed in relief, except for Dosu, who was shaking like a leaf.

"I...I saw things..._horrible _things..." Dosu shivered. But he snapped out of it, and glared at Chouji. "You pay for trying to eat me, tubby! You...will...pay?"

The Oto-nin trailed off as he took in Chouji's new appearance. He was dressed just like him! In fact, Chouji looked just like Dosu did, except for the weight.

"What the hell?" Dosu said, blinking.

Sakura blinked as well. "Hmm? What happened to Chouji? And why is he dressed like the Sound guy?"

"He has become Sound Chouji. In this state, he has the power of sound, and can use it to do anything he wishes within its power. In other words, he has become a perfect clone of Dosu," Naruto explained.

Sakura turned to him, with an eyebrow raised. "Uh, Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Where did you get the cape? And the mask? And the inappropriate accent?"

Naruto chuckled, before he threw all his new gear off of himself, and spoke in his regular voice. "Sorry. I've just always wanted to do that."

Dosu heard Naruto loud and clear. "So...you think that you can beat me with my own moves, do you, tubby?" Dosu snarled.

"I don't think I can, I KNOW I can!" Chouji said in a voice that sounded just like Dosu's.

Dosu saw red, and charged Chouji, intent on taking the faker down.

Big mistake.

Chouji rose the arm that had the sound device on it, and shouted out, "_Otonami Arashi (_Soundwave Storm)!"

"What?!" Dosu said, never having used such a move. He was so surprised, that he didn't notice the wave of sound erupt from Chouji's device (not that he could, since it was invisable to the naked eye). The sound hit him full force in the gut, knocking the wind out of him even as he flew back into the wall with a loud crash.

He slid down the wall slowly, and fell face first onto the ground. And save for his breathing, he didn't move.

"Here is your winner, Akamichi Chouji!" Hayate declared, raising Chouji's arm into the air.

Chouji let out another loud burp, and turned back to his normal, pink-less self. "Alright! BBQ, here I come!" Chouji cheered.

"And that just goes to show you. The clone is always better than the real thing!" Naruto said.

"I thought it was the other way around," Sakura said.

"Not when you're talking about Chouji!" Naruto laughed.

* * *

"And that all for now folks and fans! Hope you enjoyed that little Omake. To be honest, it was a toss-up between Kirby or Pumba from Lion King, but I think that Kirby fits Chouji very well, don't you think?" Naruto asked.

"Whatever. Are we done yet?" Luther scoffed.

"Yeah, let's go..." Naruto grumbled. He turned back to the fans. "And we'll see YOU for another episode of..."

**"OMAKE THEATHER!"** Everyone cheered.

"Good bye, now!"

* * *

Expect the next chapter later this week, or at the start of the next one. And catch you next continue!


	22. Preview of 'Intense Training Begins'

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...Naruto Harem. Because women love funny men.

* * *

And here is the next preview chapter! By the way, in honor of one of my favorite Authors, T.N.K-sama, I've decided to list music that would be good to listen to when you are reading certain parts of the chapter, as well as the source. Enjoy!

* * *

Background Music**: ****Like Squashing Grape, from Star Ocean: Til The End of Time,** followed by **Disquieting Shadow, from Sonic Heroes.**

**Comedy Combat!**

Luther was sitting on his hand-made floating chair, as he watched the results of Naruto using the move that he had taught him.

"Humph...it seems that my test has resulted in failure," Luther mused to himself, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. "Well, at least it proved one thing. That the Chakra of this world does not compare to the level of technology in mine. After all, I used the data that I gathered, and the technology at my disposal to create my servants. So the Digital Rebirth didn't effect me, neither physically, nor mentally.

But for my Outer-Half, by using Chakra in the move, he put far too much strain onto himself, and was unable to hold the technique long enough to make it of any real use, other than a desperate block. Humph. Such primitive ways of fighting will make all but the simplest techniques that I teach this boy pointless, unless I were in control of his body.

Of course, if he had access to the Kyuubi's power, than he _might_ be able to pull it off. But I have plans for the fur ball, and allowing Naruto to get too used to its power would hinder me more than help me in the long run. I shall simply find another way around this minor problem by the next time the brat and I meet face to face."

Luther gained an evil smirk. "In the mean time, I shall check up on how things are going in other events..."

Luther slowly stood up from his chair, and walked through a portal that he conjured up. Soon after, he found himself in a secret room.

"Azazer, how goes the project so far?" Luther asked his servant.

Azazer turned away from a huge test tube that he was facing, and gave a little smirk while responding. "Everything is in order, Owner-sama. Your little project is going quite smoothly, if I do say so myself..."

Luther's own smirk grew even wider. "Excellent," The genius said, walking past Azazer to gaze at the test tube.

Within said tube was a skeleton. A human form skeleton.

"It seems that the data you gathered after you disposed of Zabuza and Haku paid off very well indeed," Azazer said, adjusting his glasses as they shone with dark light. "At this rate, it won't be long now..."

"Yes...it won't be very long at all...until this skeleton takes on the shape of a living human body...MY living human body..." Luther said, letting out a dark chuckle...

**Comedy Combat!**

Background Music: **Theme of Reflection** from Eternal Arcadia OST

"_...Where...the heck am I...?"_

Naruto...

"_Huh? ...Who's there?"_

Naruto...my sweet Naruto...

"_Hello...?"_

I know it has been rough for you, dear Naruto. But worry not. We shall be together again...soon.

"_Who...are you...?"_

My time runs short...but we shall talk again...very soon...

...

...

Don't lose hope, Naruto. I'm coming...

"_W...Wait...don't go..."_

**Comedy Combat!**

Background Music: **I said I'm Naruto!**, from Naruto OST V.1

"Wait...stop...don't go...DON'T GO!" Naruto shouted out, before rising abruptly out of the bed that he was in. "Wha...where am I...?"

"You're back at Kakashi's house, gaki," Jiraiya's voice said.

Naruto spun towards the door, and saw that Jiraiya, Kakashi and Tenten were standing in the middle of it. The copy-nin and (surprisingly) Tenten had looks of worry on their faces. But Jiraiya's was blank.

"...What happened? Why am I back here of all places...?" Naruto questioned as he looked at all of them, before he clutched his head a s sharp pain went through him.

"You should take it easy, Naruto. After you used that Digital Rebirth move as you called it, you passed out," Kakashi informed him. Then he fixed him with a serious gaze. "Speaking of which, where did you learn how to do something like that? A technique like that would be classified as a forbidden move of the Hokage were to ever know about it. After all, the dead should remain just that. _Dead._"

"Yeah...as much as I hate to admit it, if you had been able to use that move for a bit more, I would have lost," Tenten muttered. "I heard stories of the Demon of the Mist ever since I first became a Genin. And if any of them were true, then I wouldn't have stood a chance. So why did you faint like that?"

"I...I don't know why..." Naruto said softly, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "One minute, I was just fine, aside from the nearly broken leg you gave me, then right after I used that move...it was like I felt all of my energy being drained out of me all at the same time..."

"Obviously," Jiraiya interrupted him, a bit of a biting tone to his voice. "That move was far too much for you to handle at your current state."

Naruto felt his eyebrow twitch a bit at the tone that the old Sannin used. "What do you mean by that, Ero-sennin?"

"What I _mean_ is that, had you used that move in a real fight, you would have been as good as dead," Jiraiya sneered. "You were left wide open after you used it, and if it were a real enemy that you had faced, you would not even be alive right now. You see, that's the dangers of using a technique you are not ready for."

Naruto shook his head. "I get it, Ero-sennin. I won't make the same mistake again."

"See to it that you don't," Jiraiya warned. "It's one thing to be killed by a foe simply because he was more skilled than you, but nothing is more demeaning than falling before a foe that you clearly had the upper-hand over, just because you were foolish and overly arrogant."

He paused for a moment before he continued.

"On the other hand, the way you handled yourself against an opponent clearly more skilled than you impressed me to an extent. And the feint attack that you used so that you could gain more distance to impalement the use of your shadow clones, was nothing short of masterful. That's not to say that you could beat anyone that was at a high enough level, such as Kakashi and myself, but you've got massive potential, kid. You really are just like your mother..."

Naruto's ears perked up at that. "You...you knew my mother...?"

Jiraiya gained a wistful smile on his face. "Yeah...I knew her well. She was one of the most care-free spirits that I had the pleasure to meet. Your father was lucky to have won the heart of such an amazing creature...but we can talk more about that later. After all..."

And Jiraiya gave a little wink as he said the last part. "We'll be too busy training to talk about such things.

Naruto's eyes widened as he heard that. "Are...are you serious...?"

"The mighty Sage of the Toads never lies!" Jiraiya shouted, doing a funny little pose, much to Kakashi's amusement, and Tenten's embarrassment.

"WOOHOO!" Naruto cheered, launching himself out of the bed, and doing a little pose of his own. "YES! I'm gonna get some training from one of the Legendary Ninja! That bastard Sasuke won't stand a chance now!"

The two shared a hearty laugh.

But as Kakashi was simply smiling behind his mask, Tenten was deep in thought. Perhaps this Uzumaki basta- er, boy...was more than meets the eye...

"Okay, meet me by the Hot Springs that you and the girl crashed me into by tomorrow morning. We'll begin our training then," Jiraiya said.

Naruto frowned. "But why can't we begin now?"

"I'd love to, but I've got an important meeting with Hokage-sama. Besides, don't you need to get to training your own students?"

Naruto's eyebrows furred at that. "...How did you know about that?"

"The eyes of a sannin can see all, boy," Jiraiya chuckled. "Anyway, we'll talk again real soon. Until then..."

And with that, Jiraiya jumped out of the nearest window, and jumped from rooftop to rooftop, making his way to the Hokage Tower.

"Maa...always in a hurry, that one..." Kakashi mused, shaking his head. He turned towards Naruto. "Then again, I'm not one to talk. I must go too, but don't worry. Since you and Sasuke are facing each other, I made it a point to him that I wouldn't help either of you beyond teaching you each one move. How you train now is up to you. I left some notes for you on how to use the Great Clone Explosion Jutsu I showed you, so you should be able to get it down before the month is over, hopefully. Until the finals, then."

Kakashi vanished with high speed out of the same window that Jiraiya jumped out of.

So now, the only two people left in the room were Tenten and Naruto...

* * *

And that's all for the preview. Will Tenten make good on her word, that since Naruto lost, she'll take his life? Just what is Luther really up to? And who was the voice that spoke to Naruto in his dreams? If you can guess the last one, then I shall make a filler chapter just for you after the Chuunin Exams are complete! Plus, no one has gotten what happened to Sasuke in the omake I made right yet. It may have happened in Mortal Kombat, but I was thinking of something else, so that's still up for grabs! Catch you next continue!


	23. Intense Training Begins Part 1

Clowning Around

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...NarutoxHarem. SasukexHarem.

* * *

Full Chapter time! Enjoy!

* * *

Background Music**: ****Like Squashing Grape, from Star Ocean: Til The End of Time,** followed by **Disquieting Shadow, from Sonic Heroes.**

**Comedy Combat!**

Luther was sitting on his hand-made floating chair, as he watched the results of Naruto using the move that he had taught him.

"Humph...it seems that my test has resulted in failure," Luther mused to himself, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. "Well, at least it proved one thing. That the Chakraof this world does not compare to the level of technology in mine. After all, I used the data that I gathered, and the technology at my disposal to create my servants. So the Digital Rebirth didn't effect me, neither physically, nor mentally.

But for my Outer-Half, by using Chakra in the move, he put far too much strain onto himself, and was unable to hold the technique long enough to make it of any real use, other than a desperate block. Humph. Such primitive ways of fighting will make all but the simplest techniques that I teach this boy pointless, unless I were in control of his body.

Of course, if he had access to the Kyuubi's power, than he _might _be able to pull it off. But I have plans for the fur ball, and allowing Naruto to get too used to its power would hinder me more than help me in the long run. I shall simply find another way around this minor problem by the next time the brat and I meet face to face."

Luther gained an evil smirk. "In the mean time, I shall check up on how things are going in other events..."

Luther slowly stood up from his chair, and walked through a portal that he conjured up. Soon after, he found himself in a secret room.

"Azazer, how goes the project so far?" Luther asked his servant.

Azazer turned away from a huge test tube that he was facing, and gave a little smirk while responding. "Everything is in order, Owner-sama. Your little project is going quite smoothly, if I do say so myself..."

Luther's own smirk grew even wider. "Excellent," The genius said, walking past Azazer to gaze at the test tube.

Within said tube was a skeleton. A human form skeleton.

"It seems that the data you gathered after you disposed of Zabuza and Haku paid off very well indeed," Azazersaid, adjusting his glasses as they shone with dark light. "At this rate, it won't be long now..."

"Yes...it won't be very long at all...until this skeleton takes on the shape of a living human body...MY living human body..." Luther said, letting out a dark chuckle...

**Comedy Combat!**

Background Music: **Theme of Reflection **from Eternal Arcadia OST

"_...Where...the heck am I...?"_

Naruto...

"_Huh? ...Who's there?"_

Naruto...my sweet Naruto...

"_Hello...?"_

I know it has been rough for you, dear Naruto. But worry not. We shall be together again...soon.

"_Who...are you...?"_

My time runs short...but we shall talk again...very soon...

...

...

Don't lose hope, Naruto. I'm coming...

"_W...Wait...don't go..."_

**Comedy Combat!**

Background Music: **I said I'm Naruto!**, from Naruto OST V.1

"Wait...stop...don't go...DON'T GO!" Naruto shouted out, before rising abruptly out of the bed that he was in. "Wha...where am I...?"

"You're back at Kakashi's house, gaki," Jiraiya's voice said.

Naruto spun towards the door, and saw that Jiraiya, Kakashi and Tenten were standing in the middle of it. The copy-nin and (surprisingly) Tenten had looks of worry on their faces. But Jiraiya's was blank.

"...What happened? Why am I back here of all places...?" Naruto questioned as he looked at all of them, before he clutched his head as sharp pain went through him.

"You should take it easy, Naruto. After you used that Digital Rebirth move as you called it, you passed out," Kakashiinformed him. Then he fixed him with a serious gaze. "Speaking of which, where did you learn how to do something like that? A technique like that would be classified as a forbidden move of the Hokage were to ever know about it. After all, the dead should remain just that. _Dead._"

"Yeah...as much as I hate to admit it, if you had been able to use that move for a bit more, I would have lost," Tenten muttered. "I heard stories of the Demon of the Mist ever since I first became a Genin. And if any of them were true, then I wouldn't have stood a chance. So why did you faint like that?"

"I...I don't know why..." Naruto said softly, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "One minute, I was just fine, aside from the nearly broken leg you gave me, then right after I used that move...it was like I felt all of my energy being drained out of me all at the same time..."

"Obviously," Jiraiya interrupted him, a bit of a biting tone to his voice. "That move was far too much for you to handle at your current state."

Naruto felt his eyebrow twitch a bit at the tone that the old Sannin used. "What do you mean by that, Ero-sennin?"

"What I _mean_is that, had you used that move in a real fight, you would have been as good as dead," Jiraiya sneered. "You were left wide open after you used it, and if it were a real enemy that you had faced, you would not even be alive right now. You see, that's the dangers of using a technique you are not ready for."

Naruto shook his head. "I get it, Ero-sennin. I won't make the same mistake again."

"See to it that you don't," Jiraiya warned. "It's one thing to be killed by a foe simply because he was more skilled than you, but nothing is more demeaning than falling before a foe that you clearly had the upper-hand over, just because you were foolish and overly arrogant."

He paused for a moment before he continued.

"On the other hand, the way you handled yourself against an opponent clearly more skilled than you impressed me to an extent. And the feint attack that you used so that you could gain more distance to impalement the use of your shadow clones, was nothing short of masterful. That's not to say that you could beat anyone that was at a high enough level, such as Kakashi and myself, but you've got massive potential, kid. You really are just like your mother..."

Naruto's ears perked up at that. "You...you knew my mother...?"

Jiraiya gained a wistful smile on his face. "Yeah...I knew her well. She was one of the most care-free spirits that I had the pleasure to meet. Your father was lucky to have won the heart of such an amazing creature...but we can talk more about that later. After all..."

And Jiraiya gave a little wink as he said the last part. "We'll be too busy training to talk about such things.

Naruto's eyes widened as he heard that. "Are...are you serious...?"

"The mighty Sage of the Toads never lies!" Jiraiya shouted, doing a funny little pose, much to Kakashi's amusement, and Tenten's embarrassment.

"WOOHOO!" Naruto cheered, launching himself out of the bed, and doing a little pose of his own. "YES! I'm gonna get some training from one of the Legendary Ninja! That bastard Sasuke won't stand a chance now!"

The two shared a hearty laugh.

But as Kakashi was simply smiling behind his mask, Tenten was deep in thought. Perhaps this Uzumaki basta- er, boy...was more than meets the eye...

"Okay, meet me by the Hot Springs that you and the girl crashed me into by tomorrow morning. We'll begin our training then," Jiraiya said.

Naruto frowned. "But why can't we begin now?"

"I'd love to, but I've got an important meeting with Hokage-sama. Besides, don't you need to get to training your own students?"

Naruto's eyebrows furred at that. "...How did you know about that?"

"The eyes of a sannin can see all, boy," Jiraiya chuckled. "Anyway, we'll talk again real soon. Until then..."

And with that, Jiraiya jumped out of the nearest window, and jumped from rooftop to rooftop, making his way to the Hokage Tower.

"Maa...always in a hurry, that one..." Kakashi mused, shaking his head. He turned towards Naruto. "Then again, I'm not one to talk. I must go too, but don't worry. Since you and Sasuke are facing each other, I made it a point to him that I wouldn't help either of you beyond teaching you each one move. How you train now is up to you. I left some notes for you on how to use the Great Clone Explosion JutsuI showed you, so you should be able to get it down before the month is over, hopefully. Until the finals, then."

Kakashi vanished with high speed out of the same window that Jiraiya jumped out of.

So now, the only two people left in the room were Tenten and Naruto...

And Naruto suddenly remembered the deal that was made between Tenten and himself...

"...So...I lost," Naruto muttered, drawing the attention of the Weapons Mistress. "...I guess that my life is in your hands now, huh?"

Tenten just stared blankly at the blond.

"...Can I at least make one request?" Naruto said, staring Tenten in the eye. "If you're going to really kill me...then can you at least wait until I fully teach Hinata, Lee and Ino Comedy Combat? At least that way, the style won't completely die."

Tenten just continued staring at Naruto...until she shook her head. "No...your life doesn't belong in my hands. At least, not right now."

"...It doesn't?" Naruto said, confused.

"Nope. After all, the way I won didn't really prove anything, since it was by your own move that I won. When I beat you, I want it to be because of my own strength, not because of some fluke," Tenten replied, turning her back to Naruto.

Naruto just stared at Tenten...and felt his respect for her go up a healthy amount.

"...Anyway, what are we waiting for? You have some people to train, don't you?" Tenten said, turning back towards Naruto, and giving him a big grin not unlike his own.

Naruto returned the grin at full force. "Yeah!"

**Comedy Combat!**

Hinata was confused.

At first, she was standing before her love, Naruto-kun, ready to receive some training to control the special new fighting style that he had instilled within her...

And the next, she found herself in a bed.

With Ino and Lee, of all people.

The other two were still asleep, but she was wide awake.

And you can only speculate as to what she was thinking right now.

But before she could do anything rash (like, kick both of them out of the bed and stomp on them until nothing remained), she saw a VERY welcome face.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata nearly shouted, before she remembered that the others were still asleep.

"Hey there, Hinata-chan!" Naruto said, giving the Hyuuga Heiress a wide grin. Though he also seemed to be a bit confused. "What are you and the others doing in my bed?"

Hinata blushed when she realized that she didn't recognise her Naruto-kun'sroom, what with her being so out of it when she awoke.

"Um...I...I..." Hinata stuttered, poking her two fingers together. A gesture that didn't escape Naruto's notice.

'_Hm...I guess that the potion finally wore off...oh well, now that Hinata's Inner-Pixie has been awoken, all that's left for her to do is master it.' _Naruto thought.

"Hey, Naruto! Let's get going!" Tenten shouted from outside of the window.

"W-who was that, N-Naruto-kun...?" Hinata asked.

"Let's just say that it was someone who I owe some debt to," Naruto said, shaking Lee and Ino awake.

"Mmmm...where am I...?" Ino groaned, opening her eyes slowly. She turned her head to the right...and saw Lee, staring right back at her, eyes wide.

...Not to mention that she noticed that they were in a bed.

After many events happened (including Lee nearly seeing the youthful place of heaven, and Inonearly sending him there with a blunt object), Naruto finally managed to get everything under control again. Now the three were staring at him.

"So, what's next, Naruto? You gave us those weird seals, so now are you gonna teach us how to use them?" Ino inquired.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, Ino. Yes, that's the next part of the training that I have in store for you," Naruto nodded. "But my house is too crowded, and Tenten is waiting for us outside."

Lee instantly jumped up from the heap that he was in, his eyes wide. "You mean that the lovely blossom of my team shall be joining us today?!" The Taijutsu Ninja exclaimed.

"Yep. But she won't be training with you, she'll just be watching us," Naruto explained. "Anyway, let's get going. Follow me!"

And before anymore questions could be asked, Naruto jumped out of the window, and onto the nearest rooftop, making his way to the spot. The other three looked at each other, before shrugging and following after the blond, finding Tenten right behind him.

**Comedy Combat!**

"Yo, waiter! Another round of Dango over here, and make it quick!"

"Yes, Ms. Anko, coming right up!"

It was no surprise that Mitarashi Anko would be found at a stall that served Dango. After all, to her, it was the food of the gods. Some might say that her passion for the stuff rivaled even that of Naruto's love of Ramen.

It was because of this very fact that Kakashi was able to track down Orochimaru's former student so easily.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Copy-Nin himself!" Anko chuckled from her seat, not turning to face the Masked one. "Is this just a simple meet and greet, or do ya need a favor?"

Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. "You know me too well by now, Anko. And it's nice to see that you're straight to the point as usual."

"Whatever. Could ya hurry it up? I'm waiting for my next round of Dango to come. And you know how much I HATE someone trying to talk to me while I'm enjoying my Dango," Ankosaid with a wave of her hand.

"As you wish," Kakashi sighed. Then he turned serious. "I would like you to help oversee Naruto's training."

Anko turned towards Kakashi, her face dancing in amusement. "Naruto? Ya mean that loud-mouth brat from the second round of the Chuunin Exams?"

"The very same," Kakashi replied.

Anko turned her back to Kakashi again, putting her hand under her chin in a mock thinking stance. "I dunno...what's in it for me?"

Kakashi sighed again. He hate it when she got like this. "I'll pay for any and all Dango that you purchase for the next five weeks."

Anko turned back to Kakashi, her eyes closed, but still in the mock thinking position. And she had a little smirk on her face. "Ten Weeks."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Five Weeks."

Anko's smirk grew wider. "Eleven Weeks."

"Five Weeks."

"Twelve Weeks."

_"Five Weeks."_

"Thirteen Weeks."

**"Five Weeks."**

"Fourteen Weeks."

**"Five. Weeks."**

"Twenty Weeks."

Kakashi just slapped his forehead, and slid it down slowly while giving off a little groan. "Fine. Ten Weeks it is."

Anko chuckled a bit, finally getting out of her thinking stance. "Deal."

"But before I leave, I want you to teach him some stuff out of the book that I gave him. The one titled Kage Bunshin Tactics." Kakashi said. "After all...you happen to be the Co-Author of this book, next to myself."

Anko raised an eyebrow at that. "You gave him that book? I know that he can make much more Kage Bunshin than we can, but I didn't know that you have THAT much faith in him."

"You better believe it. I'd teach him myself, but I made a promise to myself to teach both him and his opponent Sasuke only one move each. Now the way they train is up to them," Kakashi replied.

Anko's eyebrow raised even higher. "And yet you are already asking me to help the boy out. How does THAT help you keep your promise?"

"It's not like I'm going to do this without getting another teacher for Sasuke. And this might interest you...the other teacher will be Kurenai," Kakashi said.

Anko gained a feral smirk at that. "Well now...that changes everything. Kakashi. If you manage to get Kurenai to train the Uchiha, then give her this message. 'My student is gonna kick the shorts off of hers!'"

Kakashi chuckled, knowing that Anko considered Kurenai a friend, as well as her biggest rival. And that Kurenai felt the same way. "Will do."

**Comedy Combat!**

Sasuke was on his way back to the Uchiha estate, ready to relax after a tough day's work of training.

"Humph. Why the heck am I training so hard to face a fool like the dobe? I could crush him easily," Sasuke scoffed. "...Then again, he DID beat Haku...a foe that not even I could beat...hn, listen to myself. Feh. I'll just beat that fool's face in, and prove once and for all that I am the best of the two of us."

"Do you really think that it'll be that simple, Sasuke-kun?" A voice said from Sasuke's left side.

Sasuke turned to see the man that was the Jounin for the Sound Team, leaning against the wall that encased his estate.

"Hn...you're the man that was the sensei for that bunch of pathetic genin from Otokagure," Sasuke said with a smirk on his face. "What do you think that someone like you is doing, leaning against my wall like that?"

"Ku Ku Ku Ku...I bring to you an offer, Sasuke-kun," The man (Orochimaru in disguise) said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Hn...and what could a teacher of weaklings such as yourself have to offer me?" Sasuke sneered, crossing his own arms.

"Before I answer that question, Sasuke-kun, let me ask one of my own. What makes, and I mean _truly _makes, one person better from the other?" Orochimaru replied.

"Humph, their skill is the obvious answer," Sasuke said, becoming bored with the man already.

"Wrong," Orochimaru chuckled. "The correct answer is when you beat that person at his own game. You see, I've been studing Naruto-kun for quite some time now..."

His eyes flashed with his next few words. "Why wouldn't I...considering that he is the son of the 4th Hokage."

He took delight at the sheer look of disbelief on Sasuke's face.

"...You're lying. There is no way that the _dobe _of all people could be related in any way, shape or form to someone as powerful as the 4th," Sasuke said, glaring at Orochimaru.

"It's really not that hard to believe. After all, they look so much like each other that it's scary...but I digress," Orochimaru replied. He pulled out a small container of sorts, which held a little puddle of Green Liquid. "I have reason to believe that Naruto has taken up his mother's art. The art of Comedy Combat."

"Comedy Combat? That sounds like a waste of time to me," Sasuke said with a scowl.

"Really? Was it a waste of time that Hyuuga Hinata was able to defeat the genius Hyuuga Neji with it?" Orochimaru said.

Sasuke stared at Orochimaru in disbelief. He didn't know Hinata all that well, but he knew that someone as meek as her wouldn't be able to defeat Neji on her own.

"Ku Ku Ku Ku...I can see in your eyes that you are curious as to how that happened," Orochimaru said. "Luckliy for you, I happen to have the answer right here in this container. You see, after the Hyuuga child dragged off Naruto-kun for some reason or another, I saw that he had dropped a vial that was designed to reverse the stuff that he had given to the Hyuuga girl. Needless to say, I was interested in the power that the Hyuuga gained after drinking the real vial, so I had my scientests reverse the antidote. Sadly, they've only been able to revert part of it back. But it's more than enough for now."

"...And what does that have to do with me?" Sasuke said.

"Simple. I shall give you this vial, Sasuke-kun, and you shall beat Naruto-kun at his own game...provided you do a few things for me." Orochimaru replied.

"...Such as?" The Uchiha inquired.

"First of all...you must allow me to train you," Orochimaru said with a wicked smirk.

"And the other conditions?" Sasuke said with an eyebrow raised.

"Well...you must not tell anyone that I am training you. Or that we ever met in the first place. Also, if you are to train under me, you must do EVERYTHING I tell you. Just follow those simple condintions, and I shall hand over the vial," Orochimaru said. "Do we have a deal?"

"...That's all I have to do?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes." Orochimaru said.

"...Then you've got yourself a new student," Sasuke said with a smirk. "But I'm only in this to become stronger. Even if you give me that Vial, I'll simply dispose of it afterwards."

"We shall see, Sasuke-kun...we shall see..." Orochimaru cackled in childish glee...

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**Preview!**

Ino: What the...where the HECK are we?!

Lee: I do not have any idea myself, Ino-san.

Hinata: W-Where did N-Naruto-kun g-go...?

??: Halt, Human Blood-Bag!

Ino: EH?

??: The ruler of this Dimention...the Comedy King...does NOT welcome you. You MUST TURN BACK.

Hinata: N-Next time on The A-Art of Comedy Combat, 'Intense T-Training Begins P-Part Two: The Distortion D-Dimention!'

Ino: Bring it on, you rust-bucket!

* * *

And that's all for this chapter! I really look forward to the next chapter, something I've looked forward to ever since seeing that one video onYoutube. Anyway, I want you to be honest with me. Am I doing a good job keeping Naruto in character? The main reason I wrote this was to see if I could show Naruto off in a strong way WITHOUT him becoming a whole different person. Please tell me how I'm doing so far. With that said, here's a few more Omakes! The first is from Captain Deoxys!

* * *

**What if Tayuya's Inner Pixie was the Angry Video Game Nerd, and what if she was a lesbian?**

Tayuya sat down in front of the TV screen, desperately trying to play Action 52 without boiling with anger.

"Tayuya-chan, are you okay?" asked her friend, Kin in a scared voice seeing Tayuya's incredibly angry expression.

"Does it LOOK LIKE I'm OKAY? I'm PLAYING ONE OF THE WORST FUCKING VIDEO GAMES IN GAMING HISTORY. DOES IT FUCKING LOOK LIKE I'm Okay!?""

"How is it so bad?" Kin-chan asked desperatley to her lesbian lover- I mean, friend.

"How is it bad, HOW IS IT BAD! I'LL TELL YOU HOW FUCKING BAD IT IS! THE CONTROLS ARE AWFUL, THE BACKGROUNDS AND MUSIC SEEM LIKE THEY WERE PUT INTO A PAPER SHREDDER AND ALL 52 OF THE GAMES ON THIS THING ARE PILES OF HORSE FUCK! DID THEY EVEN TRY TO PUT EFFORT IN THIS! WERE THE DEVELOPERS ON LSD!? THIS IS BULLFUCK! I'D RATHER SWIM IN A POOL OF HORSESHIT AND EAT SALAD DRESSING MADE OF DIARRHEA FROM A BUFFALO'S HAIRY DICK THEN PLAY THIS GAME! THIS GAME ISN'T SHIT! THIS IS WORSE THAN SHIT, ITS SHITTIER THAN SHIT, WHY DOES THIS FUCKING GAME EVEN EXIST!?"

Tayuya ripped the Game out of the Nintendo console and then went Curse seal level two, and took out her flute, summoning the three chakra demons and ordering them to destroy the game.

"YIPPIE KAYAE, MUTHERFUCKER!"

The Game exploded into thousands of pieces scattered in the wind, never to be seen again.

"So Kin. Wanna go play somewhere? I need to relive my stress from that awful game."

Tayuya jumps Kin, grabbing her breasts, and licked her lips seductively.

"H-Hey Tayuya, not in front of the-" Before she can say anything else, Tayuya muffles her mouth with hers, kissing her passionately, causing Kin to kiss back. Tayuya let go for a minute while ripping off her clothes.

"Fuck the kids, they'll know what sex is with this Sex Ed hands-on lesson." She started having lesbian sex with her while the camera went to Naruto.

"Uhh... there's nothing to see here." The camera went black.

* * *

Heh. I'm surprised when no one commented on how I made Kin and Tayuya Lesbians in the main story. (really, Bi, since they'll get together with Naruto later). Ah well. Here another one from Clockwork Chaos!

* * *

If Itachi is Kefka, what are the other Akatsuki's Inner-Imp's? This time around: Deidara.

Deidara stands in from of a group of Suna ninjas, hair done up in two long pig tales, wearing a tiara and a fuku uniform that actually looks disturbingly good on him.

Deidara: You suna-nins have crushed peoples hopes and love! In the name of the moon I will punish you! Go, Moon explosion blast!

* * *

Short this time, but still funny. Anyway, catch you next continue!


	24. Omake Theater the thrid!

* * *

The Art of Comedy Combat!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...NarutoxHarem. SasukexHarem.

I have to admit...I'm a bit stuck. I mean, I know what my goals for the next chapter are (Having Ino unlock her Inner-Pixie, Her, Hinata and Lee learning how to use the Gag-Warp Seal, and having Anko and Jiraiya teach Naruto some new moves, including how to do a jutsu without using the hand-seals, OR calling out the name), but I'm not sure how to go about it right now. So, to tide you over for now, here's a special Omake Theather! And it's best to listen to the song, Go Go, Naruto!, while you read the opening.

* * *

"Here we are again, everybody! Welcome to another addition of..."

**"OMAKE THEATER!" **The fans cheered wildly.

"You got that right! And this time, we have a very special guest! Please welcome my biggest rival, and co-star of The Art of Comedy Combat, Uchiha Sasuke!" Naruto declared, as a separate spotlight shone upon the smirking Uchiha.

"Hn. Finally...the Uchiha, HAS COME BACK, to the spotlight!" Sasuke shouted, much to the surprise of the fans and Naruto, who just stared at him like he had grown a second head. The Uchiha turned a blank face towards him. "What? I'm not allowed to break character once in a while?"

"...Right. Anyway, the rejected Comedy Combat style we'll look at is Sasuke's! Rest assured, he'll get a style in the story. But this is just one of the ones that were considered," Naruto said.

"And to be honest, I'm thanking KAMI that this wasn't the one I was stuck with," Sasuke shuddered.

"So, let's get to it!" Naruto cheered!

* * *

**Omake Theather 3: **Suck flames, evil-doer!

"So, we set off the plan tonight, right?" Kidomaru asked.

"Yes, that is what Lord Orochimaru ordered us to do," Jiroubo said, patting his belly. He had forgotten to eat lunch.

"And now that we know where that stuck-up Uchiha-punk is, we can...convince him quite easily..." Sakon chuckled.

"But wait. Where are Tayuya and Kin at? Weren't they supposed to help us?" Kidomaru inquired.

"They said that they had important things to take care of. That they'd catch up later," Ukon replied.

"What could possibly be more important than following Lord Orochimaru's orders?" Jiroubo asked.

**In an undisclosed Location...**

"Yessss...that feels so fucking good, Naruto-kun..." Tayuya purred, as she rode Naruto like a cowgirl

"You...you, mmmmm...said it, Tayuya...chan..." Kin moaned as she also rode Naruto like a cowgirl...only in reverse.

_'It's so great to be me...' _Naruto thought underneath the two moaning ladies.

**Back to the Sound Nins' Location...**

"Um...Jiroubo?" Kidomaru inquired.

"Yes?" The large Ninja replied.

"You said that you saw Sasuke heading this way, sulking after losing to Naruto, correct?"

"Yes, I did. So?"

Sakon felt a vein mark go over his head. "SO, where the hell IS the little brat!?"

"Hell if I know. All I know is that he came this way. Can't expect me to do all the work, do you?"

"...I swear, fat-man, you can forget about those doodle-cakes when we get back!"

"...Damn."

All of a sudden, a bright flash of red smoke appeared before the startled Sound Ninjas.

"What the hell?!" Ukon shouted, getting into a fight stance. The others did the same, trying to find the source of the smoke. They heard a voice.

"I am the shinobi, that sneaks in the shadows!" The voice declared.

"Who's there?!" Kidomaru shouted, looking around.

"I am the Kunai, that pierces your heart when you least expect it!"

"Show yourself!" Sakon screamed.

"Gladly!" The voice shouted, right when the smoke vanished. The Sound-nins were stunned when they saw what emerged.

It was none other than their Target, Uchiha Sasuke. But he was dressed MUCH differently than what he would usually wear.

He had a bright red fedora hat on top of his head, and was wearing a bright blue shirt with golden buttons on the front. He also had dark leather pants and a belt with the Uchiha symbol on the front, and a bright red cape that flowed behind him. Not to mention the black mask that was covering his face, leaving only his eyes and mouth seen.

"You've met your match, evil-doers! Prepare to face the wrath of Nightwing Nin!" Sasuke taunted, doing a little pose.

"..."

"..."

"..."

It didn't take too long for the Sound Nins to fall to the floor in laughter.

"Oh my...is he...is he for REAL?!" Kidomaru gasped through his laughter.

"It's...it's gotta be a trick...GOTTA BE!" Sakon howled.

"Oh...oh god my ribs...!!" Jirobou laughed heartily.

But while the ninja were laughing, Sasuke just let out a little smirk. He pulled out a weird-looking gun from the pocket of his pants, and aimed it towards the ninjas.

"Laugh at this! Suck flames, rouge scum!" Sasuke said, pulling the trigger.

Waves of Flames shot out of the gun, and struck the laughing Ninjas with full force. They didn't even have time to scream in pain before they were nothing more than dust on the ground.

"Humph. Weak villain scum. Nightwing Nin is victorious!" Sasuke crowed in triumph.

"Ku Ku Ku Ku...I guess that means that the gun I designed for you worked perfectly?" A breezy, seductive voice said from behind the Uchiha. He turned to see the female clone of Orochimaru standing behind him, arms crossed with an Uchiha smirk on her face. "Then again, my male-half was so lazy at picking out ninja..."

"Heh, either way, the test was a success, and these nin are toast," Sasuke shrugged.

Fem. Orochimaru warped over behind Sasuke, and wrapped her arms around him while stroking his cheek. "And you know what that means, right, Sasuke-kun...?" Fem. Orochimaru said with a sexy smirk.

Sasuke returned the smirk. "Oh yeah. Time to celebrate..." he replied, kissing the tall woman on the lips.

Fem. Orochimaru wrapped her arms around him, and warped back to the Uchiha Estate, ready to...'celebrate'...

* * *

"And that is all for now! We saw one of Sasuke's rejected styles, and BOTH of us got lucky...some more than others..." Naruto snickered.

"Humph," Sasuke scoffed. "At least MY woman has experience."

"Heh heh...tune in next time for another episode of..."

**"OMAKE THEATER!"**

"Til next time!"

* * *

And that's all she wrote! Now I have a question for you. What should I name Orochimaru's Female clone when she shows up in the story? And in return, I give to you the names of the chapters in which Naruto and Sasuke will fight!

The time has come! Battle between destined rivals!

Enough Fooling Around! The big guns are brought out!

Size Never Matters! The power of the Chibi!

Rage overflowing! Sasuke's Inner-Imp unleashed!

Village Under Siege! The Rivals Join Forces!

Try to guess who with have the upper hand in each chapter by the name of it. Until next time, Catch you Next Continue!


	25. Intense Training Begins Part 2

* * *

The Art of Comedy Combat!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a style of fighting not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the number-one COMEDY Ninja for a reason...NarutoxHarem. SasukexHarem.

And now...it's time for the next chapter. Hopefully, this will bring back some of the funny. And the star of the chapter is Ino, so I hope you fans of hers enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, Naruto? Where do you think you're taking us, anyway?" Ino called out to the other blond, as the entire group consisting of Naruto, Tenten, Hinata, Ino and Lee jumped through the trees.

"Why, to my secret training place. Where else would I take you?" Naruto replied, as though he were talking to a four year old.

"Humph. This place had better be good, Naruto-baka," Ino huffed.

"I am sure that wherever Naruto-kun takes us to train will be most excellent!" Lee said, doing the nice guy pose in mid air to Ino, who cringed a bit.

"Um, N-Naruto-kun...? What will we be d-doing t-today?" Hinata asked shyly.

"Today, I'm gonna teach you how to control the new seals that I gave to you. The Gag Warp seals. The key to using them is...I-MAAAAGI-nation..." Naruto said, spreading his arms, complete with a rainbow-version of the word imagination appearing.

"...What the hell was that?" Tenten said, staring at Naruto, even as they were jumping through the trees.

"You mean...I-MAAAAGI-nation?" Naruto asked, repeating what he did before.

"...Yes, that." Tenten deadpanned. "That's something that I'd expect from Lee!"

"Yeah!" Lee agreed. He then added a little speed so that he could jump by Naruto's side, and whispered into his ear, "We _will_ be learning how to do that...right? Because there is nothing more youthful than rainbows."

Naruto sweat dropped. "Um...sure."

Lee got so excited that he nearly crashed into a tree.

"...ANYWAY," Naruto said loudly, gaining the attention of the others. "You guys should prepare yourselves for battle by the time we get there. I'll explain how to use the seals when we make it, but after that, you'll be on your own for a while."

"Humph, fine! This should be a piece of cake! Bring it on!" Ino said, with a confident smirk on her face.

"I shall rise to this challenge, and become stronger as a result. I shall make Gai-sensei proud!" Lee declared, fire burning in his eyes. YOUTHFUL fire.

"I-if it gives me a-a chance to be c-closer to Naruto-kun, then I-I'll do it as well!" Hinata whispered to herself.

Naruto nodded. "Good to see you're all eager. 'Cause guess what? We're here!"

Naruto suddenly jumped down towards the ground, the rest of the team jumping right behind him. But when they landed, they saw nothing but wide open space on a grassy field.

"Naruto, this is right in the middle of nowhere! How the heck are we supposed to get any good training done in a place like this?!" Ino complained.

"Maybe we are going to practice head to head combat within this large field. After all, it's good to have lots of space open for things like that," Lee suggested.

"Not even close," Naruto chuckled, moving to a certain part of the field. Once he got to it, he made a little stomp with his foot. Shortly after, much to the surprise of the others, the part of the field slowly rose up, the dirt and grass falling away to reveal a stairway leading deeper into the ground.

"What the...when was THIS made?!" Ino said, shocked.

"More importantly, where does this lead to?" Tenten asked.

"You'll see..." Naruto said, chuckling. "Just follow me."

Naruto made his way down the stairs...and after sharing a brief look at each other, the others shrugged and followed him.

Soon, they found themselves completely in the dark. As in, they couldn't see anything no matter where they looked.

"Naruto? Where the heck ARE we?!" Ino shouted.

"Hold on! I've just got to turn the gate on!" Naruto replied from the middle of the underground room.

"Wait...'gate'?" Lee questioned.

But before anything else could be said, a large flash of light burst forth within the room, catching the others off guard.

"What the hell?!" Everyone (even Hinata) yelled, covering their eyes.

Thankfully, the flash didn't last too long. Once they felt that it was gone, Lee, Hinata, Ino and Tenten slowly lowered their arms from their eyes...and proceeded to bug their eyes out at what Naruto was standing in front of.

"N...Naruto-K...Kun...w...what is t...t...that...?" Hinata said with a shaking finger, her stuttering worse than usual.

"...Amazing..." Tenten said in awe.

"Wow...what IS that?" Ino said in the same way.

"Truly, it is not of this world..." Lee said, eyes wide.

Naruto was standing right in front of what appeared to be a large circular door of sorts. Only, there was a large, purple swirling vortex right inside it. It was behind a bunch of machines and computers that shouldn't have existed in a place like Konoha. And yet, that's what they were seeing right before their very eyes.

"You like it?" Naruto laughed, sweeping his arms across the entire room. "All of this technonogly...though I hate to admit it...is all because of my Inner-Imp, Luther. He as smart as he is powerful, and trust me, he is _powerful_. Sigh...if only he didn't seem so evil..."

"What was that, Naruto-kun?" Lee said, Naruto having whispered the last part.

"Nothing," Naruto said quickly. _'Can't have TOO many people learning about what Luther is REALLY like...at least, not until I can find a way to control him...'_

"Wait a minute. What's all this talk about 'Inner-Imps' about? And what does it have to do with our training?" Ino questioned.

"Glad you asked, Ino-chan. I guess I forgot to mention them before," Naruto said. "Anyway, when you first start to learn the Comedy Combat Style, it is important that you first come into contact with what is known as your Inner-Imp for boys, and Inner-Pixie for girls. In other words, your own Inner-self that takes pleasure in all the humorous things in life...most of the time. It is impossible to fully master the Comedy Combat style without first coming into contact with your Inner-self."

"...Your own Inner-self, huh...?" Ino said with a dainty hand underneath her chin, remembering the large version of Sakura that disrupted her Mind Transfer Jutsu when she used it in the pinkette.

"Now that you think of it...I remember back when I was fighting Gaara that it didn't...really feel like I was in that much control of my actions...it felt like someone was fighting for me...or rather, inside me, using my own body..." Lee remembered, doing the same thinking stance as Ino.

"M..Me t..too..." Hinata replied.

Naruto nodded. "I'm not surprised. Hinata-chan, I gave you a potion that my Inner-Imp, Luther, created. One designed to help one awaken their Inner-Imp or Pixie. And as for Lee...to tell you the truth, I didn't expect the drink I gave you to awaken your Inner-Imp, so it was just sheer luck on that part. The strange thing is that each person's Inner-Imp/Pixie seems to have to awaken under different conditions each time, depending on the person."

Naruto shook his head. "Anyway, forget about all of that! It's time I teach you how to use the Gag Warp Seal!"

"Finally! I can't wait to use whatever I want, whenever I want it!" Ino gushed, thinking about the things she could do.

"...It's not gonna be that simple," Naruto said. "Well...using the seal IS that simple, really. It just won't be simple to use it whenever you want at first. Here's how you use it. Are you ready?"

"HAI!" Ino, Lee and Hinata said. Tenten just watched.

"Okay. All you have to do is focus your every thought to the middle of your back. Focus all of your willpower, your energy, _everything _to your back. If you do it right, then you should feel a sort of warm tingling feeling coming from you back were the seals were put at," Naruto began.

The others tried this, closing their eyes to concentrate. And nearly at once, they all felt a warmth not unlike the one they first felt when Naruto first put the seals on them.

"Good," Naruto said, sensing that they had done the first step okay. "Next, think of something that you would love to have at this very moment. And since its your first time, make it something really simple...like a flower, or a book."

Nodding, the three Comedy Combat Hopefuls did just that.

"Okay, now for the last part, reach behind your backs, and you should feel your arms sinking into something. Once you feel your hand close around something, pull your arm back out _slowly_..." Naruto said, watching them closely.

The three had faces of pure concentration as they reached behind their back...and almost bugged their eyes out in surprise when they felt their arms sinking into something. But they caught themselves, and managed to gain back their focus in time.

After a few seconds of feeling around for what they had thought up, they each felt their hand close around something. Eyes wide, they each slowly pulled their respective items out.

In Hinata's hands was a simple book, depicting the heroics of a brave blond boy that bore a striking resemblance to Naruto. The shy Hyuuga blushed when she realized that it was a book she had been creating for a while.

In Ino's hands was a custom made Mirror, designed to show off only her best features. She swooned as she admired herself.

And finally, in Lee's hands was... a Double-Decker Ham, Turkey and Cheese Sandwich, with all the trimmings.

Everyone stared at him.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...What? I was hungry," Lee said, raising an eyebrow at everyone's stares. He shrugged, and took a bite out of the massive Sandwich. "Hey...not bad!"

"...Okay..." Naruto said. "Anyway, it looks like it's a success!" Naruto said, happy. "Just remember, don't try to come up with something TOO complex for a while. Best case scenario, the item doesn't show up. Worst case scenario, you die from the lack of energy you wasted on said item."

The three gulped.

"Oh, and one more thing. If you've seen the item you're thinking of in real life, then you can take it out of the Gag Warp Seal without any trouble. In other words, if you manage to pull out something you thought of on your own, you can easily pull it out whenever you want to from then on."

"...Awesome! Can you think how much I can save on Make-Up and Mirrors from now on?! I LOVE Comedy Combat!" Ino squealed, doing a little dance around the room.

Naruto sweat dropped. Again.

"So, Naruto-kun, now that we've got this Gag Warp Seal thing down, what is the next test for us to challenge?" Lee asked, having finished his sandwich.

"The next thing that I'll talk about is the portal that's behind me," Naruto replied. "You see, this portal is a doorway to visiting many worlds different from ours. And since it can do that, just think about all of the new and exciting styles of fighting you can learn and/or fight against! ...Or should I say, COULD learn, since Luther has only been able to set up the portal to one other world."

"And what world are we talking about here?" Ino asked, done with her happy dance.

"It is simply called...the Distortion Dimention. Mostly because of the random sounds of Guitars that you hear while you are there. You see, I sent one of my Shadow Clones through the portal to test it, after setting it to the highest difficulty level you could. ...And let's just say that my clone didn't last very long. At all. Not even close," Naruto explained.

"Wait a second. Difficulty level?" Tenten inquired.

Naruto nodded. "Yep. For some reason, there is a difficulty level that comes with this world, ranging from 1 to 5. Of course, 1 is the easiest, while 5 is the toughest. It's right next to the portal over there."

The rest of them looked to where Naruto was pointing, and saw that there was indeed a machine that had 'Difficulty Level' emprinted on the top of it, complete with a monitor for something.

"...H-How is it p-possible to have a-an entire world come w-with a difficulty l-level...?" Hinata stammered.

Naruto shrugged. "Beats me. Anyway, once you three choose a level, and an objective, I'll send you to the world."

The three nodded, and went over to the machine. The first thing they saw here was to 'Enter your name(s)'. They simply entered, Lee, Hinata and Ino. After that, they saw something called 'Goal Selection'.

"What this this mean, Naruto-kun?" Lee asked.

"That's the objective that you want to set as your goal. In other words, the thing you have to do if you want to complete this part of the training," Naruto replied. "But I'd suggest that you set the difficulty and danger levels first."

"D...Danger Levels...?" Hinata squeaked.

"Don't worry, Hinata-chan. You won't get hurt...much," Naruto said.

"Humph. I can take anything this machine throws at me!" Ino boasted. She took a look at the portal. "...But since this is my first time...I guess I'll go with the easy level..." She took the slider lever, and slid it to level 1.

All of a sudden, a freaky looking man with bright-red hair and black circles around his eyes popped up.

"Gah! What the heck is THAT?!" Ino said, jumping a bit away from the machine.

Before Naruto could answer, the man on the screen said, in a rather mocking tone, "Difficulty Level 1. Oh, please. Don't be lazy! This setting is for the brainless!"

"...What did that guy just say?!" Ino shouted, glaring at the screen, even as the man went away.

"That's who I like to call, 'The Asshole'. He tries to goad you into making the challenge harder, with his mockniess, and comtempt," Naruto said. "It's up to you if you want to listen to him or not."

"...Humph," Ino scoffed. "Fine then. Let's see what, 'The Asshole' has to say about level 2!" She slid the lever to said difficulty.

'The Asshole' showed up on screen again.

"Level 2. Come ON! Challenge yourself! This level is for _little kids_." 'The Asshole' said, snickering.

"Little kid? LITTLE KID? I'll show you who's a 'Little Kid'!" Ino snarled, turning the lever all the way to level 5, before the others could stop her.

'The Asshole' appeared once again.

"Level 5. Yeah, you're going to LOSE. Heh Heh Heh..." 'The Asshole' snickered.

"Like HELL I'm gonna lose!" Ino shouted. She turned towards the others. "We're doing THIS level. ANY OBJECTIONS?"

A bit scared, everyone (especially Hinata, who looked ready to faint) nodded their heads.

"Good!" Ino nodded. "But to make things fair, I'll put the danger level at 1." She did so.

'The Asshole'...you get the idea.

"Danger Level 1. This setting is for cowards, you little baby-chicken WIMP," 'The Asshole' laughed.

"..."

Ino slid the lever all the way to 5, much to the dismay of the others.

"Level 5. All right, prepare to die...heh heh heh!" 'The Asshole' laughed.

Before Ino could do anything, the rest sighed. "We know, we'll do it..."

"...Good!" Ino said. "NO ONE calls me a coward and gets away with it!"

"Okay, now that the level and danger difficulty is set up, the only thing left to do is go through the portal!" Naruto said. "Are you guys ready?"

"...You WILL come and get us if it proves too much, right?" Ino said, eying Naruto.

"...Maybe..." Naruto replied.

"...Good enough. I'm ready to kick some ass!" Ino cheered.

"The toughest challenge is always the most rewarding! And besides, if we lose, then we'll just know what NOT to do next time!" Lee challenged.

Hinata was too scared to do anything but nod her head.

"Very well. The portal is ready already. So you can jump through it at any time!" Naruto informed them.

"Okay!" Ino cheered. She and the others went in front of the portal. "So...you guys good to go?"

"Yes!" Lee said.

"H-Hai!" Hinata said as well.

"Okay...let's GO!" Ino shouted.

The three of them ran towards the portal, and jumped through it at the last second. And right before Tenten's shocked eyes, they vanished through it.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Naruto?" Tenten asked.

"Of course. As long as they chose a good goal, they should be able to make it," Naruto said.

"...But they forgot to set a goal," Tenten pointed out.

"..." Went Naruto, slapping his forehead. "Well, let's just see what the default one was."

He went over to the machine, and looked at the goal. Then he looked back towards Tenten, a solemn look on his face.

"...Tenten. Would you like to come with me?" He said.

"Hmmm? Where? And why?" Tenten asked, blinking.

"To another place in the room. And because I feel a song coming on..." Naruto explained.

Tenten just raised an eyebrow.

* * *

With Ino, Lee and Hinata...

The three soon found themselves in quite a peculiar place. It was dark all around them, and they were standing on a large rocky ground that seemed to be floating high in the air, since they couldn't see the ground. There was also a large stairway leading to a larger floating island in the distance.

"What the...where is this place?" Ino asked, looking all around her.

"I couldn't tell you, Ino-san. I guess this must be the new world that Naruto-kun was talking about," Lee said, doing the same.

Hinata didn't really like this place. She just wanted to get the goal over with, and get back to her own world. ...Wait.

"I-Ino-san...y-you did set u-up the goal that w-we're supposed to b-be doing, right?" Hinata asked hopefully.

"...Oops..." Ino said, rubbing the back of her head and sticking out her tongue.

"...That's fine! So what if we don't know what we have to do to get out of here? We'll find a way!" Lee encourged.

"Yeah! What Big Eyebrows said!" Ino agreed. "Anyway, let's follow this stairway. We can just look for some clues for now!"

The three becoming-friends friends followed the stairway, until they got to the entrance of the cave on the island.

Once they went inside, they heard some random Guitar music. Lee and Hinata ignored it, but Ino found herself bobbing her head to it a bit.

"Wow, this sounds pretty good!" Ino proclaimed.

The other two didn't hear her, since they were too busy looking at the sign in front of them.

"'Halls of Distortion'..." Lee read.

"I-I wonder what t-that means..." Hinata said.

"Only one way to find out!" Ino said, dragging the others by the arms deeper into the cave.

It wasn't too long before they were stopped by someone...or something.

This thing was bronze in color, and had a sleek, shiny build that looked like armor. It had metal hair like Richard Simmons, as well as spikes coming from its lower legs. They could see the different colored wires coming from him, and he also wielded a rather large golden guitar.

**_The Master of this Dimention, the Comedy King, does NOT welcome you. You MUST TURN BACK!_** The strange thing said in a loud monotone.

"And who the heck are you supposed to be?" Ino challenged, while Lee got ready for a fight, and Hinata looked nervously at the robot-looking thing.

**_I am a Guitar Warrior, loyal to my master and friend of my creator, the Comedy King! _**The Guitar Warrior replied.

"Well, get outta our way! You're an eyesore, and you stink too!" Ino growled.

**_YOU stink. Like a freshly baked turd!_** Guitar Warrior replied.

"Well, you LOOK like a turd, asshole!" Ino snarled.

**_You ARE a turd! _**Guitar Warrior shot back.

Ino looked about ready to kill. "I am NOT a turd!"

**_You are TOO a turd!_**

"MOTHER..." Ino swore, before she got back her cool. "Fine. Can you at least tell us who this so called 'Comedy King' is?"

**_The Comedy King is a friend of the Metal Lord, who is my creator. He rules half of this world alongside the Metal Lord._** Guitar Warrior replied.

"Humph. With what I've seen so far, only an idiot would want to rule this place!" Ino sneered.

**_No, YOU are the idiot! And you MUST leave!_** Guitar Warrior said.

"Man...you sure are crazy about this place, aren't you?" Ino scoffed.

**_And you will be DEAD if you do not leave right now. Do not force me to destroy you._** Guitar Warrior growled.

Ino glared at the Machine. "Screw you! We're not going anywhere!"

The Guitar Warrior's eyes flashed red. **_Turn away, Earthling Blood Bag, or suffer complete deconstruction._**

"I don't know what that word means, but you can't hope to destroy a ninja like me!" Ino boasted, as Lee and Hinata looked on.

**_I can destroy you easily with the sonic energy from my gituar!_** Guitar Warrior said, raising said weapon.

"Oh, no you can't!" Ino said. Unknown to the Warrior, she was making hand signs for her Mind Transfer Jutsu technique.

**_Oh, yes I can! _**Guitar Warrior replied.

"No, you can't!"

**_I can, too!_**

"Can not!"

**_Can!_**

"Can Not!"

**_CAN!_**

"No you can't! And do you know why?" Ino said.

**_Why?_**

"Because you won't be in control of your body long enough to do it!" She thrust her hands forward, into the final sign for her jutsu. "Take this, ugly! Mind Transfer Jutsu!!"

Ino felt her spirit leaving her body, and rushing towards the body of the Guitar Warrior, even as her physical body slumped to the ground.

...But she was in for a shock when her soul bounced off of the Guitar Warrior, and right back into her own body. She jumped up with a start.

"What the?!" She shouted.

"I-Ino! Are you okay?" Hinata asked, concerned.

"Yeah...but my move didn't work!" Ino said.

But before Lee could ask her why that was, the Guitar Warrior's eyes flashed once again, and he rose his Guitar even higher.

**_Do not say I didn't warn you!_** He shouted, before he fired a note from his guitar. A huge sonic wave shot out from it, aiming for the three.

"Look out!" Lee shouted, grabbing both Ino and Hinata, and jumping away from the ground. Seconds later, the ground exploded when the sonic wave hit it.

"WOAH! That giutar was able to do that?!" Ino shouted, after they all landed safely.

"It appears so. ...It looks like we don't have any choice but to take this person on, before we can advance any further," Lee said, getting into his fighting stance of the Iron Fist.

"B-But this world is set on t-the highest difficulty level! H-How can we beat him?" Hinata stammered.

"We'll find a way!" Ino said, going into her own stance. "I don't know why, but fighting music sounds like something that I want to try!"

Seeing how brave her friends were, Hinata went into the Gentle Fist stance. "O-okay...let's do this!"

**_Prepare for completle deconstruction, fools._** Guitar Warrior said, reading his guitar.

Unknown to Ino, her energy was pulsating wildly, responding to the guitar noises above...

* * *

And that's all for this chapter. In the next, Ino, Lee and Hinata square off against the Guitar Warrior. And Ino's Inner-Pixie will awaken! Not to mention that we'll see what Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi and Gaara are up to! Here's two hints to who Ino's Pixie will be.

Hint 1: Chu, Chu, Chu!

Hint 2: Gitaroo!

And if you figure it out, and think another certain person should have this Pixie as her own, don't worry. I have bigger plans for her.

No Omakes this time, but they'll be plently in the next chapter. Catch you next continue!

And try to guess the song that Naruto is talking about. If you have ANY idea where Ino, Lee and Hinata have been sent to, you'll know...

Also, Luther, Naruto's Inner Imp, is from the game called Star Ocean: Til the End of Time. If you've played it, then you'll know how he can make all this stuff.


	26. Intense Training Begins Part 3

* * *

The Art of Comedy Combat!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: 10 Percent Serious, 90 Percent Crack. That's about the best way to sum up this story. Naruto/Harem, Sasuke/Harem. Big crossover with 'Way of the Samurai 2' in future chapters. Small crossover with...pretty much everything else.

Time for another fight! And I think that most of you (one author in particular) will like the song(s) that I've included in this chapter. You'll see where it's from at the end of it. Enjoy!

* * *

All was slient as the trio of Comedy Combat Hopefuls (Ino, Hinata and Lee) stared down the impassive entity known as the Guitar Warrior. They were waiting for the person (machine?) to make the first move, so that they could make a better counter attack.

"Hey, Hinata. Why don't you try using your Byakugan on this freak? What you see might give us a chance to beat him," Ino said to the Hyuuga.

"O-Okay..." Hinata replied, closing her eyes for a second. _'Byakugan!'_ She thought in her head as she snapped her eyes open, her bloodline active.

She was able to see right through the Guitar Warrior's body, but what she saw shocked her. There was no heart...no flesh...nothing that would let them know that they were facing a Human Being. All that she saw were many wires, bolts, and gears. Not to mention the glowing energy in the middle of its chest.

...Wait. Glowing Energy?

"I-I see a ball of energy right in the middle of his chest..." Hinata stammered.

"A ball of energy, huh?" Ino replied, rubbing her chin. "That just may be where its getting its power from!"

"In other words, all we have to do is destroy its power source! And the only way to do that, is to attack the Guitar Warrior's chest as hard as we can!" Lee exclaimed, his eyes on fire as he clenched his fist in anticipation of a good fight. "Yosh! I shall begin!"

"Huh? Wait, Lee!" Ino called out. But Lee was already rushing towards Guitar Warrior at high speed.

"Try this! Leaf Hurricane!" Lee shouted out as soon as he got close enough to Guitar Warrior.

Guitar Warrior fired a blast from his Guitar, but Lee (thanks to his incredible speed) was able to dodge it point blank by ducking. He then quickly brought his foot up in an upward kick, aiming for the Warrior's chest.

The attack hit dead on...but it didn't even make a dent in Guitar Warrior, nor did it send him flying like Lee had expected.

"What?!" Lee gasped. Guitar Warrior quickly used his Guitar like a bat, swinging it downwards to crush Lee's skull like an egg. Lee was able to barely dodge the swing, but Guitar Warrior quickly brought his Guitar back up, and blasted some more energy towards Lee. The Taijutsu Ninja's eyes widened, as he knew he couldn't dodge the attack while in mid-air.

Luckily, at the last second, Ino tackled him out of mid-air, the both of them barely dodging the Guitar Energy. They hit the ground hard, and rolled for a bit before coming to a stop.

While Guitar Warrior watched impassively, Hinata sunck up from behind, and struck him with a Juken strike in his upper back, hoping to use a little of her own chakra to shut down the energy glowing within. But to her dismay, she saw that her attack had no effect whatsoever, and she was forced to leap away before the Guitar Warrior took off her head with a swipe of his metal Guitar.

As Hinata began dodging the blasts from the Guitar, Ino jumped off of Lee's body.

"Lee, you dummy!" Ino growled. "We can't just attack this guy head on! That strange armor he has will make our attacks useless!"

"But...if that is the case, how are we going to get to the energy within his chest?" Lee asked, jumping back to his feet.

"We shouldn't worry about that, right now. What we need to do is take that guy's Guitar away from him!" Ino said. "If we can do that, then at least he won't be able to attack us! In other words, aim your attacks at his Guitar!"

"Good thinking, Ino-san!" Lee said, giving Ino the Nice Guy pose, complete with a PING of shiny teeth. He turned back towards the battle that Hinata and Guitar Warrior were having. "Hey, Hinata-san! Do you think you can distract Guitar Warrior while I prepare an attack?"

"W-What do you t-think I've been d-doing for the past f-five minutes!?" Hinata shouted, barely dodging blast after blast.

**_It's no use. No matter what you do, you three will never defeat me at your current levels. The only thing awaiting you...is death by Guitar, _**Guitar Warrior said in monotone, firing two quick blasts. Hinata dodged the first one, but got hit full force by the following one.

"KYAAA!" Hinata screamed, being flung back by the energy from the Guitar and crashing into one of the walls, back-first.

"HINATA!" Both Ino and Lee screamed as she slid down to her knees, holding her stomach painfully.

"Lee, you take on Guitar Warrior! I'll take care of Hinata!" Ino shouted, rushing towards the Hyuuga.

"Hai!" Lee shouted, rushing at high speed towards the Guitar Warrior.

**_"Useless..." _**Guitar Warrior said, firing more blasts towards Lee. The Green Ninja dodged them all, and in a flash appeared before the Guitar Warrior. He lashed out his right foot, aiming for the Guitar. But to his surprise, Guitar Warrior swung out his Guitar at the same time, causing the two to collide. Said collision caused a mini shockwave that forced Lee a few feet back. Guitar Warrior quickly sent another barrage of Guitar waves towards Lee, who managed to dodge each of them. But only barely.

While Lee was keeping G.W busy, Ino knelt beside the injured Hinata.

"Are you okay, Hinata?" Ino asked, worried.

"I-I'm fine..." Hinata groaned, getting to her feet and still holding her stomach. "B-But...that blast was strong...I don't think t-that we can take much more hits f-from it..."

"...Do you think that you'll be able to keep fighting?" Ino asked.

Hinata nodded. "H-Hai. I still have some Healing Salve in m-my pouch..." The female Hyuugapulled said salve out of her pouch, and quickly rubbed some underneath her shirt, onto her belly. In almost no time at all, she felt the pain go away like it wasn't even there.

Ino was about to complement Hinata on her salve, but was cut off when Lee was flung back towards them with a scream, crashing right in between them.

"L-Lee!" Hinata gasped.

"What happened?!" Ino shouted.

But before Lee could answer, he saw that Guitar Warrior was getting ready to attack again. Thinking quickly, he grabbed Hinata and Ino and leaped away from the spot, just as a LARGE wave of the Guitar energy struck the exact spot they were at.

Unfortunately, the sudden jump caused Hinata to drop the rest of the salve all over the floor...

Lee landed safely with the two girls, and placed them gently on the ground. But immediately afterwards, he clutched his right shoulder with a hiss of pain.

"Ugh...that Guitar Warrior is much tougher than he looks..." Lee groaned in pain. "I was unlucky to have my shoulder meet the metal part of his Guitar...rather forcefully, I might add..."

"Damn! If we didn't drop that salve, we might be able to heal you!" Ino cursed.

"I am sorry...it seems that I had forgotten that, after having to use five of 'The Eight Inner Gates' to defeat Gaara-san, that my body would take quite a while to heal. Therefore, even with my weights off, my body isn't anywhere near it's full speed," Lee said. He clutched his shoulder a bit tighter. "...Not to mention that I can not take as many hits as before..."

"A-At this rate...we're d-d-done for..." Hinata stammered in a bit of fright, as Guitar Warrior turned his soul-less eyes towards them.

"Screw THAT!" Ino snarled, glaring at the Guitar Warrior. "I don't know about the rest of you, but 'death by Guitar' sounds pretty LAME to me!"

Before anyone did anything else, Ino proudced a kunai in her hand, and rushed towards Guitar Warrior.

"Ino!" Hinata shouted.

"Ino-san!" Lee shouted at the same time.

**_...Pathetic. _**G.W said, before he fired a huge wave of energy from his Guitar towards Ino. The Yamanaka's eyes widened, as she saw that it was too large to avoid...

"Quick, out of the way!" Lee shouted, appearing right behind Ino. He grabbed her, and threw her with great force to the other side of the cave, helping her dodge the attack.

He wasn't as lucky, however.

"AGGGHHHHH!!!" Lee shouted, as he was hit full force by the blast of sound. He was sent soaring into the wall closest to him, crashing with a sicking thud. He was out cold before he even hit the floor.

"Lee-kun!" Hinata shouted in worry.

All of a sudden, Guitar Warrior (using the same speed as Lee), warped behind Hinata, much to a stunned Ino's eyes.

"Hinata, look out!" Ino shouted.

But it was too late. G.W delivered a devesting strike to the back of Hinata's head with his Guitar, knocking her out instantly as she flew onto the ground from the impact.

"No! Hinata! Lee!" Ino shouted, unable to believe that they were beaten that easily.

Her breath caught in her throat as G.W turned towards her...

**_...Now...it's YOUR turn... _**Guitar Warrior droned...

* * *

Sasuke and Orochimaru (still disguised) made their way into the Forest of Death to begin their training, avoiding the watchful eye of the ANBU along the way.

It didn't take too long for them to end up in the exact spot where Orochimaru had taken on Team 7 in combat.

"...Why have you chosen this spot?" Sasuke asked Orochimaru.

"Simply because it has the most open space. Not to mention that you would be hard placed to find one within this forest. Like I said, the fact that I am training you must remain a secret," Orochimaru replied.

"...About that. Why do you want to keep this a secret so badly? I would think that if you were teaching me techniques from Otokagure, that it would be seen as a peace offering towards Konoha," Sasuke stated.

"YOU might. But the more...radical ninja from my village would see it as an act of betrayal. Hence the need for secrecy," Orochimaru shrugged. "But enough about that for now. Before we begin our training together, there is something that you must do first."

"...What kind of something?" Sasuke inquired.

"...Okay, two somethings," Orochimaru said. "First...stop pausing before every sentence. You've done it three times in a row, already."

"Hn," Grunted Sasuke. "Whatever."

"Good," Orochimaru nodded. "Second...you must wear this while we train."

With that, Orochimaru produced the (rather tacky) suit that Sasuke would be destined to wear within Naruto Shippuden.

"...You've GOT to be kidding me," Sasuke said in a flat tone, glaring at the offending piece of clothing.

"What did I say about pausing before every sentence?" Orochimaru scolded the Uchiha. "Besides, this will allow you more freedom in your movements. And freedom in your movements is a must for ANY ninja worth his headband."

"I don't care. You won't catch me DEAD in that outfit," Sasuke growled.

"Why not?" Orochimaru asked.

"First of all, that purple bow. I mean, what the hell are you smoking? Second, it just SCREAMS 'Gay'. I have enough trouble with the more radical of my fangirls thinking I'm gay (or becoming gay), just because I refuse to jump their bones every hour on the hour. Or at all, really. And third...that thing is so bad that it doesn't deserve a 'third bad thing'. And I could care less if that doesn't make any sense," Sasuke scoffed. "Either you modify that outfit so it doesn't show so much...skin, or I'm walking."

"We had a deal, Sasuke-kun. Or have you forgotten?" Orochimaru hissed, narrowing his eyes at the boy.

Sasuke did the same. "Don't care. I wouldn't wear that thing if you told me that you had Itachi locked up somewhere, waiting for me to have my way with him."

He glared at the readers. "And not in the way you're thinking, you sick freaks. ...Unless you're into Guro, because it'll be pretty close to that."

"...Who are you talking to, Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru blinked.

* * *

"Okay, mom. I'm on my way!" Sakura called out as she stepped out of the door.

"Be careful out there, dear!" Sakura's mom replied.

The Pinkette made her way down the street, ready to buy some food that her mother had asked her to get.

But along the way, she ran into none other than Kakashi.

"Ohayo, Sakura-chan," Kakashi greeted Sakura, with an eye-smile to boot.

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura said, bowing. "...Did you want to see me for something?"

"I sure did," Kakashi said. He went closer to Sakura, until the girl had to look up to stare into his eyes.

"How would you feel about training under me exclusively for the next month?"

* * *

"Gah!" Ino grunted, as she took yet another blow to the stomach from Guitar Warrior's sound blast.

She hadn't been fairing very well against G.W at all. After Hinata and Lee had been knocked out, the robotic like being had simply been toying with her, delivering mini blasts of sound to various parts of her body, greatly injuring her. The last blow to her stomach brought her down to her knees. Her entire body, save for her arms and hands, felt numb...

Little did any of them know that Ino's inner energy was plusating wildly, ready to come out at any time...

**_It's just as I thought. None of you were a match for me. _**G.W said. **_Maybe next time, you won't try to take the highest level right off the bat. ...Not that there will BE a next time..._**

Ino didn't say anything, her hair covering her eyes...

**_Silent, huh? Well...don't worry. I'll make this very quick. Farewell, Human..._**G.W said, turning the power on his Guitar to full power. He struck a huge cord on his Guitar, sending a large wave of sound energy towards the still crouching Ino, intending on finshing her off for good...

But just as the wave made it to the blonde, it was forcefully smacked aside!

If Guitar Warrior could look shocked, he would have. He quickly turn his attention back towards Ino...and couldn't believe what he saw.

Ino's deep blue eyes had turned to more of a light green shade. And her platinum blonde hair had turned light pink. The look in her eyes was both much more mature than before, and filled with determination.

But what G.W couldn't believe was what the newly-transformed Ino was holding.

It was a Guitar. But none like he had ever seen before. It looked like it it was made with even more technology than his own...

**_Well...seems that you still have a bit of fight within you..._** G.W said.

"I have more than just a bit," Ino replied, with a slightly deeper voice. "Now that I have this Gitaroo within my grasp... the playing field will be even. I challenge you to a Guitar Battle!"

**_A...Guitar Battle? Well...it's been so long since I've taken place in one. But I'm sure that one with my expertise can easily defeat a beginner such as yourself. Very well, I except! _**G.W said.

"Good. Then...let's get started!" Ino said, slowly getting to her feet.

The two didn't do anything for a few seconds. But then, the random strums of guitar music above them began to play...like a song.

Not only that, but some drums were thrown in to make it more like a song.

And finally, as Ino and G.W got their Guitars ready, some voice out of nowhere began to sing in tune to the music.

_I used to think this was perfect, and wish that it was never ending  
But those days are gone forever. It's something I'm not missing _

Ino began, playing the 'Gitaroo' in her hands to match the Guitar sounds durning those two lines of lyrics. As she did so, she could feel much of her energy returning to her.

_There's a force there's a voice, in my head  
Telling me to think about the times that you were cruel and mean  
I don't care if you walk away I'm here to stay and you need to hear_

Guitar Warrior played the Guitar part here. But since he was already at full health, it didn't matter.

The two music warriors glared at each other, before the chorus began for the song.

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

Ino let loose with a barrage of sound lightning from her Guitar as she played the Guitar parts of the song in tune. G.W dodged most of them, though one of them hit him in the chest, causing him some damage.

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

G.W let loose with a barrage of his own sound blasts. Ino dodged all of them easily, causing G.W to growl since he lost a bit more of his health by wasting his energy.

The two went back to charging their health back when the next part of the song came on.

_I have to take advantage before the moment passes by  
It's so hard to manage the ups and downs of your life  
Someone help someone speak before I start to scream out, anything to break the silence You're holding me back confined by doubt_

Ino was in perfect form, while the Guitar Warrior was still missing a bit of his health. They readied for the next attack.

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

Ino quickly fired more of the strange form of lightning from her Gitaroo, most of them hitting their mark, what with G.W not being able to dodge them as good this time. The Lightning surged through G.W, attacking the ball of energy within him, and causing major damage.

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

G.W tried to return the favor, but Ino once again dodged, causing him to waste energy, and lose even more of his health. Guitar Warrior dropped to his knees for a split second, before slowly getting back up.

**_...It...is almost the end...of the...song... _**G.W said. **_Let...the next few notes...be the last!_**

Ino mearly nodded. There would be no more charging. It was time to end this.

_Cause I need you, cause I need you here with me  
When it falls through and I'm down upon my knees_

_There's a force there's a voice in my head telling me to  
Think about everything last time I believed now I realize_

Both Ino and Guitar Warrior let loose with their strongest barrage. The two forms of Music energy clashed in the middle of them, each one trying to over power the other.

Inofelt her strength going away quickly as she tried to fend off the attack. And in one last move, she sent a large wave of her inner energy into the lightning, giving it enough strength to over come G.W's. The Guitar Warrior was overwhelmed by the lightning, causing him to drop his Guitar. But Ino kept the attack going as the final chorus came up for the song, sending him up into the air.

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

_You make me sick, but I love what we're doing here  
You make me sick, and I can't be the only one_

As Ino kept the attack going, she could feel herself losing the last of her strength. But she still kept the attack going, watching as G.W began to have cracks formed within his body.

_Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick,_

_You make me Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, **Sick!**_

_You make me Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick_,

_You make me Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick, **Sick!**_

On the final line, the Guitar Warrior's mechanic body couldn't take anymore. It exploded from the inside out, turning the proud warrior into nothing more than scrap metal.

Ino slumped to the ground, having no energy left after that attack. She lost conciseness...

* * *

A few minutes later, Ino (back to normal) slowly opened her eyes. She was startled to be looking right in the face of Naruto, and jumped back with a tiny scream.

"N-Naruto!" She exclaimed. She looked around...and to her disbelief, saw Lee and Hinata next to her, still knocked out. She also saw that she was back in the room that Naruto had led them to.

"Glad to see you three back!" Naruto said with a big grin.

Tenten just stood to the side, watching on.

"D-does that mean..." Ino began.

Naruto nodded. "Yep. I came into the world to save you. Nice job on defeating that Guitar Warrior, by the way!"

But then his face turned serious. "But still...you were knocked out before you could complete your main objective in that world."

"...And that was..." Ino asked.

"To defeat FIVE of the Guitar Warriors. You only beat one before you were defeated by lack of energy. So, you lose. Normally, if you didn't go to that world from another place like you did, you'd be dead right now. ...Which leads me to...this," Naruto said.

All of a sudden, another Guitar Warrior appeared from the portal, right behind Naruto!

But before Ino could warn him, the blond raised a hand. "Don't worry. He's not here to harm me. In fact...he's about to help me sing a song...one you'll hear everytime you lose in that world from now on."

"...What song is that...?" Ino asked.

"Hit it, G.W!" Naruto said.

Guitar Warrior nodded, before starting the song.

**_You are dead, dead, dead_**

**_You are dead, dead dead!_**

"_Thought you were hot. Guess what? You're NOT_." Naruto sang alongside G.W, ignoring Ino's WTF look.

**_You are dead, dead, dead!_**

_"We brought your whole adventure to a screeching halt!"_

**_You are dead, dead, dead!_**

_"Your heart has stopped, and your brain is cold.."_

**_You are so, so, DEEAADD!!_**

_"And now, your body is starting to mold..."_

_**You are so, so, DEEAADD!!**_

_"This dimention cuts like a knife!"_

**_You are dead, dead dead!_**

_"What a pitful waste of a human life!"_

**_You are dead, dead dead!_**

_"Your heart has stopped, and your brain is cold.."_

**_You are so, so, DEEAADD!!_**

_"And now, your body is starting to mold..."_

**_You are so, so, DEEAADD!!_**

_"Aw, such a sad, sad story_

_You're gone_

_Empty head_

_In the Red_

_Game Over_

_You're through!_

_GONE!_

_How does it feel to be dead?"_

_"Bye-Bye, you're history, you're through!_

_You're DUST._

_I hope you improve your lousy score!_

_Adios, See ya later, Bye-Bye!_

_Try Again!"_

G.W just kept singing 'You are dead, dead, dead' in the background, as Naruto looked upon Ino's flabbergasted face.

"And just think. You'll hear this song. EVERY. TIME. YOU. LOSE."

Naruto smirked.

"I never said this would be easy..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Gaara...

Was still knocked out from the fight against Lee.

So he didn't pay a big role in this chapter.

But fear not! He'll be awake in the next chapter.

Maybe.

I guess.

...Yeah.

* * *

And that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed the songs! The first one was called 'You make me Sick', from Egypt Central. The second one is the Game Over song from a VERY old game called Total Distortion, the song being called, 'You are Dead'. Look it up on Youtube, you'll get a laugh.

Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. Ino's pixie has been awakend. And it's Kirah, from Gitaroo Man! And if you don't know who she is, don't worry. I'll put up a list of who the Inner Pixies/Imps are, and who has them later on.

Catch you next continue!


	27. The Fourth Wall Screams Uncle!

The Art of Comedy Combat!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

Chapter 18

The Fourth Wall Screams 'Uncle'!

"So...what now?"

"Hell if I know. The author hasn't updated this in like...forever!"

"Yeah, which is the reason why all of us are just sitting around in this blank, white atmosphere."

"I hate the fact that if the author isn't doing anything with the story, we have nothing to do."

"Considering that it's his most reviewed story, second only to 'There's fanfiction about us' (which he ALSO has not updated in Kami knows when), you'd think that he'd spend much more time on it."

"Well, there's nothing that can be done. We just have to be patient. ...Or hope that our author has been killed, and replaced with a much more competent one. Which ever comes first."

"Yeah. I don't know about you guys, but this whole 'Inner Imp/Pixie' thing just sounds like a _very _bad idea. Hell, it borders on Mary-Sue like tendencies!"

"Yeah! It's only a matter of time before the fans see this for the Mary-Sue fest that it truly is, and never read it again!"

**Not if I have anything to say about it.**

"...What the?!"

Naruto, Sasuke, Orochimaru, Tenten, Hinata, Ino, Lee and Jiraiya all looked around, trying to find the source of the weird voice.

"...Is that who I think it is?" Jiraiya said.

**Yes, it's me. The author.**

"Well, where the hell have you been?" Sasuke scowled, glaring into thin air.

**Oh, you know...doing a little of this, and a little of that.**

"'That' including writing about two young girls having sex with several Well-Endowed Lizard Creatures, with claws that could make Orochimaru's face even more fucked up than it already is," Jiraiya said with a bored look on his face.

"HEY!" Orochimaru snarled, glaring at the Perverted Hermit.

**...How did you know about that?**

Jiraiya smirked. "I'm not one of Konoha's best spies for nothing, you know."

**...Whatever. The fact of the matter is that I'm here now.**

"Well, Whoop-de-FUCKING-do. What do want, a cookie?" Lee said, giving the voice the bird.

**...I'm starting to regret making 'Stone Cold Steve Austin' your Inner-Imp, Lee.**

"And I'M starting to regret that you've used the '...' sign three times in a row at the start of your sentences," Tenten said, rolling her eyes.

**Oh, the little China Doll's got Jokes, eh?**

"Enough!" Naruto shouted before Tenten could reply. "At least you're back, author. What madeyou decide to finally write this again?"

**Since you asked, it was after I went to a live showing of WWE Monday Night Raw in San Jose. I had a blast...until a guy called me a fag for screaming out the move names too much. But hey, you aren't truly having a good time unless you're pissing off assholes like him.**

"...I thought that something like that would cause you to update 'The Most Entertaining Reviews Ever' instead of this," Hinata said, looking confused.

**Normally, it would. But instead, I've decided to make a scene similar to it later on in this chapter, but with a much different outcome.**

"Why? You got your ass beat in the first one?" Ino joked as everyone else snickered.

**Very Funny. Anyway, in order to get closer to that scene much quicker, I've decided, 'To HELL with another few chapters of training and Character Development! We're gonna finish it all in one song-induced...Training Montage!'**

"But won't that just piss off the readers, and lower the amount of (good) reviews we receive dramatically?" Orochimaru said, eyebrow raised.

**That's what Flashbacks are for!**

"...As if this story doesn't have enough flashbacks already," Tenten sighed.

**Flashbacks are very important to anime! Without them, we wouldn't know what happened to the older people to make them the way they are!**

"Fine fine, whatever. As long as you promise to not take forever again, got it?!" Ino growled.

**...I make NO promises.**

"HEY!!" Ino shouted.

But before she could begin her rant, the first few riffs of the Guitar played, and the 'Training Montage' began!

* * *

_Risin' up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances_

The Montage began with Naruto talking (without sound, of course) to Hinata, Ino and Lee, and pointing to 3 different models of the Guitar Warrior that they fought in the last chapter. They had titles under them. The one with the Guitar was just called Guitar Warrior. The one with nothing but his bare hands was called Wrestler Warrior. And the one with the rather large piece of metal between his legs was called Pleasure Warrior.

...Apparently, you CAN make this shit up.

_Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive_

As for Sasuke and Orochimaru, the Sannin was demonstrating his snake-like grace and fluid movements, displaying great speed to Sasuke, who looked impressed. The Uchiha was even more impressed when the Missing-Nin withdrew his blade, Kusanagi, and sliced several trees in half in a single second.

_So many times, it happens too fast  
You change your passion for glory_

Lee, Ino and Hinata, each in their Imp/Pixie form, stood side by side with each other, staring down their respective foes.

Naruto raised his hand to begin the match. And after a few seconds, he swished it down, and both sides charged each other.

_Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive_

Sasuke and Orochimaru stood across from each other, both ready to fight. Sasuke looked determined, while Orochimaru looked confident.

No words were exchanged as the two charged at each other.

........

**You know what? Screw this.**

The Author grabbed a Remote Control, and fast forwarded through all the boring stuff, much to the annoyance of all involved.

By the time is was over, Sasuke and Naruto found themselves staring each other down, within the Chuunin Exam final Arena.

"...So...here we are, dobe," Sasuke sneered.

Naruto smirked. "Finally, teme! I've been wanting to test...

"HEY, YOU IDIOTS DOWN THERE! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND START FIGHTING! I DIDN'T PAY 30,000 YEN OR WHATEVER THE HELL KIND OF CURRENCY WE USE IN THIS SHOW TO HEAR YOU TALK DIRTY TO EACH OTHER LIKE THE FAGS YOU ARE!" Some random asshole shouted in the audience.

"This event was _free_, you dumbass!" A more sensible young man shouted back.

"WHAT WAS THAT, YOU-"

But before the asshole could finish his sentence, the author blew his head off with a shotgun.

**HA! EAT THAT, YOU RUDE SON OF A BITCH!!**

As the author began to laugh like a crazy person, Sasuke and Naruto sighed.

"...This is the end of the so called 'chapter' isn't it?" Sasuke said.

"...Yep," Naruto replied. "Better get the Fireman Costume on, because the heat of the flames for this piece of crap chapter will melt the computer."

"Way ahead of you," Sasuke replied, decked in said outfit.

* * *

...As you can hopefully tell, this isn't the real next chapter. Just typing this to let people know that I haven't dumped this story. Next time will be the REAL 18th chapter. So...just consider this the 17 and a half chapter.

Catch you next continue!


	28. Important Future Remake Notice

I'm sorry to say that this isn't an update for the story. You see…I'm thinking ending this story. Not for good mind you, but just to rewrite it, polish it up, and just make it better.

The way it is now, it's filled with needless previews, plot holes galore, and just plain bad story progression. I promised to get to the Chuunin Exam god knows how many chapters back, and I'm _still_ focusing on everybody's training!

To tell the truth, I don't feel like I deserve half of the many reviews that you've all been giving me for this story. So that's why I feel like giving this story the Dragonball Z Kai makeover, getting rid of needless filler, focusing more on the development of the plot and my characters (while still keeping the comedy elements in at full force), and _no more previews_. Not to mention that I could easily do omakes at the end of chapters instead of making them chapters on their own.

I hope that you understand my decision, and that you look forward to the new and improved Art of Comedy Combat that I'll start on sometime next year. Until then, since I know that there are people who like this fic, I'll keep it up for reflective reasons. That way, when I start to type the new version, I can keep an eye on the mistakes I made in the last one, and avoid making them in the new one.

Thanks to everyone who supported this story all the way. You are all winners in my book.

Catch you Next Continue!


	29. First Chapter of Remake Done!

Hello, all! Just wanted to tell you that the first chapter of my Art of Comedy Combat Remake is now complete! I've titled it Comedy Combat: Take Two! Not a very good title, but it's a work in progress. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!


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